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Dr. Em

GALS - Gerry Addicted Lust Syndrome

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Gerardbutlergals.com (gbgals.com) is wholly and completely a separate entity from GB.net. While we enjoy a cordial association with GB.net, they have no authority, control or ties to our site, to the administrators or to the moderators of gerardbutlergals.com (gbgals.com).

I realize there are many of you who do not have a clue what "GALS" is so I will offer a little explanation. In May of 2005, many Gerry fans were having "fits" because they didn't know where Gerry was. At about this same time, word came out that Gerry had a computer and would be able to check online more often. I found this buzz terribly amusing and on the spur of the moment I decided to sit down and come up with a new "sickness" - one which only affected Gerry fans. I had also decided to tailor the steps to "recovery" after the AA 12-Step Program. The result of my warped sense of humor is the following. The very first original post.

Being the compassionate person that I am, I can recognize a cry for help when I see one. Having said that, I have decided to start a new support group for those of us with Gerry Addicted Lust Syndrome – from now on, all with Gerry Addicted Lust Syndrome with be known as GALS.

This group is open to all Tarts and non-Tarts alike who believe they are in serious need of support and guidance as they realize how serious their addiction has become. This is not a support group which advocates traditional intervention, as the failure rate would be astronomical, but merely a group whom you can turn to who share in your addictions or withdrawals, whichever the case may be. Some of the signs that you have GALS include, but are not limited to:

1. You buy every magazine on the rack looking for photos or articles of Gerry and start to get the jitters when there has been no sign of him for weeks.

2. You drive 500 miles to see a Gerry movie.

3. Your significant other (or just someone you're dating) gives you stark reminders they are SOOOO NOT Gerry.

4. Co-workers, friends and/or family start teasing you for your addiction – people can be so cruel...

5. You become addicted to caffeine because you can’t pull yourself away from GALS...."'cause just MAYBE he'll be on Chat tonight."

6. You obsess with much glee, "Gerry has a computer...and he knows how to use it!!!!"

7. You find yourself asking aloud, "Did he REALLY mean what he said about the 3:00 a.m. thing and does he REALLY wear a size 11 shoe?" Then smile broadly.

8. You catch yourself speaking in a Scottish accent for no apparent reason.

9. You change the decor in your bathroom to accommodate your new yellow towels.

10. The "G-Spot" takes on a whole new meaning.

11. You spend days wondering why a Scot would be named "Andre." :huh:

12. You buy “Mrs. Brown” just for the skinny-dipping scene and play that one scene in slow mo and super slow mo, over and over and over again. (Okay, so maybe that was just me.) :D

13. You have a picture of Gerry in your wallet, and refer to him as “your man, Gerry.”

14. You spend your hard-earned cash assigned for other “non-essential” items (phone bill, power bill, etc.) on essential Gerry related items.

15. You go shopping for your “real-life” man and finding yourself thinking, “OMG!!! Gerry would look so &^%$& hot in that!!!

16. You have to buy a new hard drive to accommodate all your pics and videos of Gerry.

17. You search through a couple hundred $5.50 DVDs at Wal-Mart because an employee said Dracula 2K might be there.

18. You can't possibly walk past Starbucks without dreaming that maybe... *sighs*

19. You refer to the Gerry wallpaper on your computer as your “happy place.”

20. While looking up at the clouds you SWEAR there's a cloud in the shape of a "G"...funny thing is, the Tart next to you sees the same thing!!!

21. Multiples (Gerrygasms) are an every day occurrence!!!

This list will continue to grow as you tell me your addictions...

Below is a very simple 10-step program to help foster our addiction.

1. You must admit you have GALS. This is so important to further your addiction. Yes, this support group wants to nourish your addiction, not starve it. We are here for you.

2. Come to believe the Great and Powerful Gerry is greater than ourselves and only our visions and/or fantasies can keep us addicted. To truly become addicted, however, one must at one time in ones life made the Gerry Mecca Journey (GMJ) and meet him in person.

3. Make a decision to turn our will and lives over to our addiction to Gerry.

4. Make a searching and fearless immoral inventory of our fantasies of Gerry.

5. Lend your support to those who have GALS, but are yet unable to admit it.

6. Watch every movie (more than once) in which Gerry has a role. To be truly addicted, you must develop a love of all Gerry genres (yes, this includes “Tale of the Mummy” and “Dracula 2000”).

7. Frequently quote lines from Gerry films. Memorize them, use them, replace old phrases with new Gerry lines. This will prove to all your serious commitment to your addiction.

8. Know Gerry’s biography better than you know your own. True GALS will know all Gerry’s trivia. Study it, soak it in, become one with Gerry's biography.

9. Give generously (money folks) to the website which has fostered your addictions and allowed your fantasies to take flight.

10. Convert all who are convertible to this syndrome. This is the true mark of GALS. Do not judge - for your next recruit may be your boss!

As this is a relatively new Syndrome, the above guidelines are subject to editing, amending or scrapping all together as we GALS deem necessary.

The first step to true addiction is to admit you have GALS!! I will begin the group.

"My name is Dr. Em and I have GALS."

All are welcome to join in our group. GALS, we must not suffer in silence!!! We now have a voice!!! Let it be heard!

*Disclaimer: We GALS appreciate not only Gerry’s royal hotness for which there is no rival, we indeed, also recognize his abundance of talent, soul, passion, spirit, sense of style and humor, sincerity...can I stop now? Our addictions are all-encompassing and we embrace Gerry EVERY WHICH WAY WE CAN!!!*

:hugs:

Dr. Em

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