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WHY can't I be in love with him?? (question answered!)


Abrock
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Yes, we must all scream together!

AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh* Thanks, GALS. :smile: Man. I haven't truly had a really good kiss EVER. It's never had that spark. I had a boyfriend at 13 and we kissed a lot...but at that age, your hormones just aren't fine-tuned. Man...waiting for that good kiss.........................

I'v never liked it when a guy says I'm cute. Cuteness is for kids, bunnies and puppies, not for beautiful young girls like you. Some day a guy is gonna cone a long and say, "Hey beautiful.... wanna grab a cup of coffee with me?" he's gonna be wearing a pair of nice jeans, a clean T-shirt and a leather jacket. he'll be just the right mixture of goodboy/ badboy. Wait for him Melissa, he's out there!

Swan

This piece of advice hasn't left me since you wrote it, Swan...because I remember the distinct difference when a guy calls me "cute" as opposed to "beautiful". I much prefer the latter. The way it makes me feel is indescribable.

Gosh, I'm broody today.

Edited by Abrock
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You haven't been kissed since you were 13? Good grief! I think I would grab one of those friends of yours and snog just for practice! Bad thing is though, that you won't get sparks that way. And I love what Swan told you. I also loved what Sporran told you too, which gives me hope.

*pacing* :alone:

I'm just not good at waiting! I'm too impatient.

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Oh, dinna worry Princess, I HAVE been kissed since I was thirteen, but that was the most kissing I've ever done with one guy. I know...not much better, eh? The last guy I kissed began laughing in the middle of it. Yeah. Nice. :alone: That was about ten months ago.

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Hey Abrock!

How are things going with the guy?

Hope everything is going superb.....

Hehe talking about kisses...how about someone that

hasn't been kissed like EVER? Nope, I'm 23 and still

haven't been kissed. Fun...er...well...not much.

Good Luck girlie/

Priscilla

By the way...did anyone tell you that you look like Alexis Bledel in Gilmore Girls?

Edited by Priscilla-Loves-Erik
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By the way...did anyone tell you that you look like Alexis Bledel in Gilmore Girls?

I've been thinking the same thing...

Yeah, actually, all the time. :smile: She's my "famous twin" as it were.

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You guys...I've had some good kisses in my lifetime, thank God...but it's been two years since I was properly kissed! And I want that spark as well, believe me...from the kind of guy that Swan described. That's my type, definitely. Oh, sweet prince, where are you?

Abrock: If anyone was laughing while kissing me, I'd probably knock him upside the head! I can't believe someone did that to you! Shame on him! Let me hunt him down for you. We'll see how much he laughs THEN...@#(*@)#&@_#&@_#*&@#*&@!!!!!!!!!

Priscilla, don't worry. There's lots of time to be kissed. At 23, I'd only been kissed a couple of times and didn't even consider them "real" kisses for reasons that shan't be delineated here (not worth the trouble, believe me). The real kissing started around age 25 when I decided to release some of my fears of men -- not to say that you have fears of men, but that was my situation. I was overly cautious during my teens and early 20s, which is why I was barely kissed; it was not for lack of opportunities, and sometimes I wanna kick myself for not indulging sooner. But I was a romantic above all else, and I wanted a prince. My first real boyfriend was a damn Vulcan, but he was such a sensual lover. Yum. It WILL happen for you!

Hugs,

Christine

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Abrock: If anyone was laughing while kissing me, I'd probably knock him upside the head! I can't believe someone did that to you! Shame on him! Let me hunt him down for you. We'll see how much he laughs THEN...@#(*@)#&@_#&@_#*&@#*&@!!!!!!!!!

Well, I really shoulda known better. It was at a party, he and I were both drunk on company and lack of sleep (neither of us drink). So I guess he had the giggles pretty bad, but......right in the middle of a kiss? :blue: I'm not sure why he was laughing...the fact that he was kissing? That he was kissing ME? Trying to hide discomfort? Maybe I tickled him? Who knows!

But I might take you up on your offer anyway. ::D:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Someone once said this to me:

' Don't find love, let love find you.

That's why it's called falling in love,

because you don't force yourself to fall,

you just fall.'

I have not found my destiny or the man I am meant to be with..

but just because you don't see something..doesn't mean it's not there.. somwhere

Bethy

Gosh dang it, Bethy! I LOVE you! (TNLW, of course!) That is the greatest sentiment ever!

I hear you girls! I've dated, (not extensively, but still dated), and I always seem to attract men that I'm not attracted to! Whether they're 14 or 45, or they're the biggest nerds you've ever seen that are incapable of normal social interaction, I attract them. I've been told that I just don't recognize when a normal guy is attracted, but that's besides the point. They look, but they never come up and talk! So in general, I've gotten used to being the assertive one (doesn't that suck!?). But Abrock, I think it's one of those universal laws of nature...you're trying to sashay by Mr. Hottie, and his goofy friend is the one that notices. Why why WHY?

That, and the friendship thing. I have unfortuntely ruined enough friendships that I've come to the conclusion that dating friends doesn't work. There have been at least three guys that were friends in high school that now happen by 6 years later and ask me out. Gaaaaa!

It just gets frustrating waiting for the right man to appear! When you're so used to Mr. Wrong, you wonder if you'll recognize Mr. Right......

Ya know?

Love ya's...

Oh, and sometimes laughing while you kiss is enjoyable if you're both laughing! And "cute" isn't a death sentence, but unfortunately it's a far cry from "beautiful" and "sexy"! Men!

Jen

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Well...some interesting developments.

He finally broke down and asked me about our friendship. He said he didn't know if it was a brother/sister thing, or something else entirely. He said he would like to find out, but he's more than willing to continue on being friends. I told him I wasn't sure either...because I'm not. I'm...well...I think I know how I feel, but if this could be a great thing, I don't want to miss out. But I also don't want to smash his heart, because I know it's delicate. So, we're going to hang out more...see what's up. Figure it out.

I'm scared. I may talk big sometimes but I'm so reserved when it comes to actual commitment. I want it, I want it very very much. There's nothing I want more in this life than to marry my soulmate and raise children with him. But with my past experiences...eh.

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OMG!

Good for you babe!

I am all sorts of impressed that the two of you talked about it and came to a decision to see where it goes. So often normal adults just don't act like they're adults, much less human! Good luck! If nothing else, the guy is at least mature enough, interested, and sensitive!

Kudos to you! :kisswink:

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Thanks, Jen. It was scary at first, but then I felt really at ease about it. I was worried about hurting his feelings, and turns out, he's afraid he'll hurt mine! How's that for funny?

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Well...some interesting developments.

He finally broke down and asked me about our friendship. He said he didn't know if it was a brother/sister thing, or something else entirely. He said he would like to find out, but he's more than willing to continue on being friends. I told him I wasn't sure either...because I'm not. I'm...well...I think I know how I feel, but if this could be a great thing, I don't want to miss out. But I also don't want to smash his heart, because I know it's delicate. So, we're going to hang out more...see what's up. Figure it out.

I'm scared. I may talk big sometimes but I'm so reserved when it comes to actual commitment. I want it, I want it very very much. There's nothing I want more in this life than to marry my soulmate and raise children with him. But with my past experiences...eh.

Ab, I'm glad that you had an in-depth convo with him about the relationship. It sounds...very promising. If nothing else, you will continue to have a good friend. And if it's something else, all of your past experiences may be obliterated and redeemed by this new experience. You just never know. (Hey...at least there's someone in the picture for you! That's great! Me, I'm just totally solo and flying by the seat of my pants. I'm so sick of being single. There is also nothing I want more in this life than to be with my soulmate, and I've been asking God for him to enter my existence since my teens. No luck yet.)

*sigh*

Christine

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I know what you mean, Christine. There are times where I'm so bloody sick of being single, wanting that guy...but I think your the same as me, in I'm not going to settle for a lukewarm thing.

In my current situation...I think he's more into me than I am into him, which really worries me. But I don't understand my lack of ability to respond to a guy who geniunely thinks I'm beautiful. *sigh*

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I know what you mean, Christine. There are times where I'm so bloody sick of being single, wanting that guy...but I think your the same as me, in I'm not going to settle for a lukewarm thing.

In my current situation...I think he's more into me than I am into him, which really worries me. But I don't understand my lack of ability to respond to a guy who geniunely thinks I'm beautiful. *sigh*

Exactly. I've settled for too many lukewarm relationships or whatnot in the past, and I just can't stand it anymore. I want the full-bodied gusto (sounds like a beer commercial -- LOL). BTW, I also feel that I lack the ability to respond genuinely to a man who honestly thinks I'm beautiful; usually, I'm just not as "into" him as he is to me. Gah.

At least we have each other and everyone else here at GALS to discuss these topics!

hugs,

Christine

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I know what you mean, Christine. There are times where I'm so bloody sick of being single, wanting that guy...but I think your the same as me, in I'm not going to settle for a lukewarm thing.

In my current situation...I think he's more into me than I am into him, which really worries me. But I don't understand my lack of ability to respond to a guy who geniunely thinks I'm beautiful. *sigh*

Exactly. I've settled for too many lukewarm relationships or whatnot in the past, and I just can't stand it anymore. I want the full-bodied gusto (sounds like a beer commercial -- LOL). BTW, I also feel that I lack the ability to respond genuinely to a man who honestly thinks I'm beautiful; usually, I'm just not as "into" him as he is to me. Gah.

At least we have each other and everyone else here at GALS to discuss these topics!

hugs,

Christine

I hear ya! See, we're too smart to settle for the lukewarm because we know there are men out there that are passionate and intelligent, kind, and hot enough to rev us up all the way (there is living proof that they exist....even if we haven't actually met him....LOL!) We can't settle for less than we deserve (and the guys shouldn't either...). It's ok Abrock....there are lots of great men out there that we're just not meant to be with! Not that they're less than we deserve, they're fabulous...just that they're not the right ones. While I do oscillate between being glad to be single and really tired of it, I'm glad that there are girls out there that know what I'm talking about!!!!

And men out there (like the husbands of some of our fellow GALS and many other men out there) that are glowing examples of masculinity.....that's enough to reinspire me for the time being....

Just makes me think that it'll be one helluva girls night out in Vegas.....

God save the men if we all get confident and organized and put it out there!!!!

Yeehaw!

Jen

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Very good points, Christine and Jen! Somedays I feel quite confident that I'll find that guy, and other days...well, you know.

Okay, so continuing my story about my friend...he just wrote this to me:

You have beautiful hair.

Uniquely lovely eyes.

There is something about your mouth that I can't describe, but your smile is so cute and kind of mischeivuos.

You have a lovely body which is slender but not sickly slender.

Oh dear. I haven't heard anything that great in a LOOOONG time. Heaven help me if I can't reciprocate.....

:depressed:

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You guys...I've had some good kisses in my lifetime, thank God...but it's been two years since I was properly kissed! And I want that spark as well, believe me...from the kind of guy that Swan described. That's my type, definitely. Oh, sweet prince, where are you?

Abrock: If anyone was laughing while kissing me, I'd probably knock him upside the head! I can't believe someone did that to you! Shame on him! Let me hunt him down for you. We'll see how much he laughs THEN...@#(*@)#&@_#&@_#*&@#*&@!!!!!!!!!

Remember there are people sometimes who express emotion by laughing. I have the tendency to laugh at a certain...... um uncontrolled time. My hubby loved it! He knew he'd done good, if you know what I mean. Maybe that guy was like me??? Laughing isn't always a bad thing.

And I haven't been kissed for 2 years now too! I need one of those really soon. And right now, I really don't care if there is that spark or not. But after the "Ineedtobekissed" urge is over, then I REALLY need that spark. Oh prince, Oh knight in shining armour... where are you?

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Remember there are people sometimes who express emotion by laughing. I have the tendency to laugh at a certain...... um uncontrolled time. My hubby loved it! He knew he'd done good, if you know what I mean. Maybe that guy was like me??? Laughing isn't always a bad thing.

True, laughing isn't always a bad thing...but in this case I'm pretty sure it was. I mean, I could just tell it wasn't from how good the kiss was, you know? I just think he was uncomfortable. But that's okay. :smile: He's a good friend and there's really no sexual tension there anyway.

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I can't really relate, because I've never been on a date or anything, but I'll try to be helpful. i only hope it doesn't turn out like a "Oh, she doesn't know what she's talking about. She's never had any experience, how would she know?" kind of a situation.

All I can think of to say is stick with it and get to know this guy. I've actually got a guy named Paul who I think is interested in me. I don't really like him, I find him annoying, but I talk to him and stuff. I'm trying to get to know him before I right him off as a looser or something. Same thing happens to me, all the goofy/nerdy/dorky types notice me. Ah, well... I'm only 15, what does it matter? Still, I'm kind of annoyed with dorks right now... lol

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Actually Madame, the guy whose heart I crushed over the course of five years...I met when I was 14. We were freshman in high school, he was instantly taken. Not trying to brag, but he was...the poor guy. I mean, I really wanted to love him the way he deserved to be loved, but when your gut tells you it's wrong, you listen. I tried time and again until we were 19 to see if perhaps the timing was just off. Each time, same thing. Just wrong, and I couldn't love him that way. :depressed: Moral of my story? Be honest when a guy pursues you. Not brutally honest or disrespectful of course, but honest.

*heavy sigh*

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Very good points, Christine and Jen! Somedays I feel quite confident that I'll find that guy, and other days...well, you know.

Okay, so continuing my story about my friend...he just wrote this to me:

You have beautiful hair.

Uniquely lovely eyes.

There is something about your mouth that I can't describe, but your smile is so cute and kind of mischeivuos.

You have a lovely body which is slender but not sickly slender.

Oh dear. I haven't heard anything that great in a LOOOONG time. Heaven help me if I can't reciprocate.....

:depressed:

Oh my...those are lovely sentiments. Well, let's see. I had a two-year relationship with a man who had been previously "just my friend," and even though it didn't last, it was GOOD while it lasted. Initially I did not feel enough spark or MOJO and felt concerned about it, but I soon discovered plenty of it resided within him -- within us as a couple. So I guess it can certainly happen this way! Maybe you can kiss him under the mistletoe and find out? :cunning:

hugs,

Christine

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Oh my...those are lovely sentiments. Well, let's see. I had a two-year relationship with a man who had been previously "just my friend," and even though it didn't last, it was GOOD while it lasted. Initially I did not feel enough spark or MOJO and felt concerned about it, but I soon discovered plenty of it resided within him -- within us as a couple. So I guess it can certainly happen this way! Maybe you can kiss him under the mistletoe and find out? :cunning:

hugs,

Christine

You see, I would...! Except....if I kiss him, and he likes it, and I don't...

Man, my guilt of smashing someone's heart, even though I heard that he's now happily married, sure has stayed with me.

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Oh my...those are lovely sentiments. Well, let's see. I had a two-year relationship with a man who had been previously "just my friend," and even though it didn't last, it was GOOD while it lasted. Initially I did not feel enough spark or MOJO and felt concerned about it, but I soon discovered plenty of it resided within him -- within us as a couple. So I guess it can certainly happen this way! Maybe you can kiss him under the mistletoe and find out? :cunning:

hugs,

Christine

You see, I would...! Except....if I kiss him, and he likes it, and I don't...

Man, my guilt of smashing someone's heart, even though I heard that he's now happily married, sure has stayed with me.

Ohhhhhh...I get it. I see. But it's a 50/50 chance of liking it or not. What if you do...? Are you willing to relinquish that opportunity to Fate? (What's behind Door #1?) Hmmmm. Something to ponder, no?

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