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Love Letters from the Lair


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I tend to agree with you on this one, Pilar.

The slight change for me being that while I'm sure Christine went on to lead what appeared to be a happy life with Raoul, there must have been some sort of lingering feelings there that Raoul possibly sensed. He gave off such a sense of sadness while at her grave. And I know that part of that would be the normal and understandable amount of grief you would have at losing a spouse. This seemed like something more than that to me. It makes me wonder if he always felt that invisible pull that the Phantom must have had on his wife. That somehow she was never totally his. Otherwise, why would Raoul feel the need to buy the music box and place it on her grave unless it had such a deep meaning to his wife. :confused:

But I agree that somehow, Erik kept tabs on her all those years. The thought of that sort of love being unrequited in the true sense of the word is so sad.

An amazing story to analyze. I love it.

Jillian, Mistress of the Night

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Right on, Jilly...

I DO believe Raoul understood that Christine loved Erik, but was secure in the knowledge that she loved him best, and that she made a life with him. No doubt, Christine told him everything. She may have mentioned the music box and how much she liked it. I totally get a picture of her face when she talked about Erik and the past....

Edited by Pilar
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It wasn't the music box Christine was attached to, it was Erik. Why would Christine have spoken often of the music box, when so far as we know, she only saw it twice: Once when she awoke in the lair (and seemed to pay very little attention to it), and then when Erik was singing to it in the final lair scene.

I shall always believe Christine went to her grave with an attachment to the Phantom, and I think this is why Raoul had aged beyond his years, to become a frail old man, who appeared even older than Madame Giry.

My friend Martha did a study about the Victorian meanings behind certain objects and symbols. She discovered that in the Victorian era, red roses tied with a black ribbon symbolized that the person being given the rose, belonged to the person who gave it. If you notice the engraving of Christine's likeness on her grave marker, she is wearing a black ribbon tied around her neck.

Interesting, yes?

I agree Jill... I think Raoul's sadness was more than grief from losing his wife, after all, she had passed away 2 years prior to the auction, and yet even after 2 years, such profound sadness clung to him.

Raoul truly loved this woman, and she loved him as well.... but remember that she had formed an emotional attachment to the Phantom in her childhood... his influence on her was very great. I'm of the mind that she never fully shook him out of her system.

Christine may have spoken often of the music box..... but it was the Phantom she was remembering, and even though she probably never spoke of the Phantom to Raoul, he realized who she was really referring to, in her music box recollections.

I think the Phantom either placed the rose and ring on the grave himself, or instructed Madame Giry to do so... but I do think he was still alive at the time of the auction.

Interesting how at that point in the movie... you can *feel* his presence in the cemetery. As if at any moment, his cloaked form might emerge from the shadows. Even after seeing the movie dozens of times... I still look for him there.

Lord, how I love this movie!

Swannie

PS: I don't think the movie indicates that the Phantom went on to love another. We know this for a fact from the song that closes the movie....Learn to be Lonely.

Child of the wilderness

Born into emptiness

Learn to be lonely

Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you

Comfort and care for you

Learn to be lonely

Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world

There are arms to hold you

You’ve always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness

Child of the wilderness

Learn to Be lonely

Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely

Life can be lived life can be loved alone

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Unfortunately, I have a much sadder take on what happened after Erik left the opera house. I believe Christine went on to have a happy life with Raoul...children, etc. And I believe Erik lived to be an old man. I DO think it was he that left the rose/ring on her grave, and that he kept "tabs" on her after she left him. I don't think Erik "moved on" after Christine. He was probably able to make a good living through his music, but his heart....was broken.

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I agree with you Pilar. I think he loved her from a distance. I think his heart belonged to her; gave his very soul to her. She is the one that gave him courage to come out into the public in the first place. Look what it got him. I think he went down under hidden once again. I think he died old with his memories of her. I think he put the rose and ring on the grave.

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Sally

Music Box Fairy~ Keeper of his brave and daring soul

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My friend Martha did a study about the Victorian meanings behind certain objects and symbols. She discovered that in the Victorian era, red roses tied with a black ribbon symbolized that the person being given the rose, belonged to the person who gave it. If you notice the engraving of Christine's likeness on her grave marker, she is wearing a black ribbon tied around her neck.

Interesting how at that point in the movie... you can *feel* his presence in the cemetery. As if at any moment, his cloaked form might emerge from the shadows. Even after seeing the movie dozens of times... I still look for him there.

That is interesting about the rose and black ribbon. I've never heard that before. They belonged to each other to the end...I felt his presence also at the cemetery.

The song you mentioned is what made me think that he lived on alone. How sad. It gets to me everytime. He belonged to Christine mind, body and soul. No one could take her place.

Sally

Music Box fairy~Keeper of his brave and daring soul

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Geez, can you guys believe this? I just re-read the lyrics to that song, and now I am sitting here crying.

You know, as a happily married woman who truly loves her life.... it is very difficult for me to imagine that someone who lived completely alone, with no family, no lover or companion could ever find happiness. And this is what breaks my heart about this story, because he had lived for most of his life alone, and then when he thought he had found someone who understood him, and maybe even loved him... he did not have the ability or experience to let love just happen between them. He literally forced her to love him, and when she rejected his love, he did the only thing he knew how to do... he manipulated and mesmerized her until she was so confused, she did not even know her own heart.

His love for her was so twisted and desperate, that he killed to win her love, but in the end... his violence and anger only pushed her farther away.

After Christine left his lair for the last time.... he never had the chance for love again. How does one ever find happiness and fulfillment when one is utterly alone?

This man could have been so much! He could have been a gift to the world!

"I longed to teach the world, rise up and reach the world.... no one would listen...."

It just breaks my heart!

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I think that's why I've never liked the song "Learn to be Lonely."

The thought of someone being truly alone is so sad and awful to contemplate. And I don't mean just without a spouse or a lover. I mean truly truly alone in their own world. Without family or friends. Without anyone to turn to in times of trouble or sadness. No one to share any sort of happiness. Human beings aren't meant to live that way. We are meant to be a part of SOME sort of community in some way. And to think that Erik lived that way is just heartbreaking to me.

And my own personal :tantrum:

"No One Would Listen" SHOULD have been included in the movie. :humph:

I didn't know that about the rose with the black ribbon, Swannie. Very interesting. And Christine's black ribbon around her neck. Verra interesting.... :hmm2:

I have no doubt in my mind that Erik is the one who left the rose and the ring on her grave. And Raoul knew it too. The moment he saw it, the reaction he gave shows that. At least to me. You can totally feel the Phantom's presence in that moment as well.

Speaking of Raoul. I'm always a bit sad when folks put down Patrick Wilson's performance in one way or another. I thought he did a spectacular job as Raoul. He was certainly a much stronger man with more sense of himself than that total weenie in LeReoux's book. Gag me. I wanted to push THAT Raoul off a bridge.

What? :confused: Too strong? :lol:

Jillian, Mistress of the Night

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My only gripe about movie Raoul is the bad wig. That is a huge pet peeve of mine in any movie. If the actor is wearing a bad a wig, it tends to ruin the whole thing for me. I think they should have given the very handsome Patrick a wig more like the hairstyle we see on Christine's father. The long pageboy just looks too phony and girly, and takes away from Patrick's handsome features.

I too wish NOWL would have been used in the film, at least in the closing credits, with Gerry singing it. Can you imagine how that might have impacted audiences... hearing the Phantom's own voice singing those words?

He sounds so heartbroken in that song .... his voice is fragile, and so tender.

Swannie

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Hey, GALS,

I right clicked the shite outta this one when Deb posted this somewhere else. I'm not even sure if it's a manip....but....Erik....smiling?

Beautiful.....

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Yes! It's one of those rare moments in the film, when he let his hope shine through... look at those glistening eyes, and that dimple. At that moment in MOTN, he almost believes she loves him, and will stay with him willingly. And he is so wrapped up in the joy of sharing his music with her, that he cannot see the heartbreak ahead.

Swannie

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I agree with you about the song...and Erik living the rest of his life alone...otherwise no point in having those lyrics put to the melody of No One Would Listen...

There were so many conflics & wars going on in the world during those unaccounted for years...Raoul could have been engaged in any one of them..that alone could have taken an emotional & physical told on him...not to mention the torture he endured that last night in the lair at Erik's maniacal hands...and the stress of knowing Phantom was still alive ..somewhere... & could come back at any time to claim Christine...and knowing how Christine was attached to Erik...not knowing absolutely for sure how Christine would choose if given a second chance...

When Mdme Giry & Raoul went to the auction ...they seem surprised to see each other there...probably the only two poeple in the whole universe left who knew the truth of the story...unless Erik was still alive....and though they acknowleged eachother...did Mdme Giry wonder why he was there? Did Raoul have flashbacks of that fateful night...did he think Mdme Giry capable of leading him to the trap door & possibly his demise? Either to drown or at the hands of Phantom?...and they both seemed surprised that the music box was there & being offered for auction....Why did Mdme Giry want the box so badly....why did Roaul? And only after seeing how intent & desperate Roul seemed to have it....she relented seeing that he was still being affected by the memory of Phantom...but why...after all these years...was he still haunted by the past.... Was she moved to allay his fears herself by putting the Rose & Ring on the grave... on Phantom's behalf (whether he had already died or/and

was instructed to do so...)...or was Erik still alive...did he rush to the cemetary to get there before Raoul...to place the Rose & Ring there before Raoul got there? and Why? WHY?

So off to the cemetary he goes....has the Ring & the Rose already been placed on the grave?...Mdme Giry was Phantom's eyes & ears...always keeping him informed....did she tell him about the musicbox & how intent Raoul was to have it? Did she feel sorry for Raoul...did Erik feel sorry for Raoul? Was placing the Rose & the Ring on the grave a sign to Raoul that there were no more hard feelings...Erik finally reliquishing his hold on Christine...& relieving Raoul's fears?....Relinquishing the ring back to Raoul....the original owner...Christine's choice....

....it was never really Erik's...he stole it...just the same as he thought Christine 'belonged 'to him....

(It was obvious Erik planned that he and Christine would someday marry...but I think he had to rush things a little sooner than he would have wished...when Mdme Giry informed him that Raoul had gone to her room on the night of her debut performance...that they apparently knew each other...seeing how intent Roaul was to have her..and her feelings for Raoul...otherwise I think he would have given her his own ring at the right time....)

They both loved her...and she loved both of them...and still neither of them belonged completely to one another! I get the feeling in the end the two men realized that ...did either one of them realize the pressure they put her though?

Christine was torn between the two of them...and how could they not know & finally understand , and share each other's grief.......neither could help but love her...she was their Beloved...and they were hers.

Wearing a black ribbon around your neck was also just another fashion trend...with or without a cameo or other jewelry clipped to it...we don't know if that was what Joel or ALW intended...but it would be nice to know....most debutantes where given Pink roses....but Phantom's rose had to be special & different...the black ribbon & Red rose could have been just Phantom expressing his intensity & uniqueness....that he had more spectacular plans for Christine...interesting theory...Joel probably would've known that since costuming was how he started out in the business....I wonder if ALW knew it also?

Good Lord!!! I sure hope someday there will be an 'anniversary edition' of this movie...complete with director's & actor's commentary (I would love to hear /see Joel & Gerry sitting there on a couch...commenting & reminiscing about this movie!!!) So much left unanswered & unsaid & left to speculation....But I don't think we'll ever have all the answers....that's why we keep watching this movie over & over & over....and we're still in love & talking about it like it was yesterday! Are we all obsessed? or what! Sorry if this post seems fractured...making it up as I go again...

Hi Jilly!!! I agree with you 100%!!! I think Patrick Wilson did an amzing job portraying Raoul...I almost felt as sorry for Raoul as I did for Phantom!

Hey Pilar!...I don't think that's a manip cause I have the same screen cap...there are a couple of of him smiling while he's singing MOTN in the Lair....you just gotta look hard for them....

Edited by Trouble
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Good to see you here Deb! I love hearing your insights!

Just my thoughts.... I think if only the ring had been left on the grave, that would have meant the Phantom was relinquishing her back to Raoul, but because the ring was accompanied by the red rose and black ribbon... always a gift given to Christine and no other, I think the red rose/ring at the end is meant to say to Raoul, "She is still mine, even in death."

Raoul did not look pleased with the the rose and ring, in fact, he looked seriously disturbed... and the way he looked around the cemetery, as if he were expecting to see HIM, it was almost as if he were saying, "Will I never be free of you?"

My guess is, Mme Giry was there at the auction to buy the monkey for Erik, who IMO, was still alive, and had instructed her to do so. I believe the Phantom was himself, hidden somewhere in that dusty opera house, giving Mme Giry secret signals. I believe it was he who finally let Raoul have the music box.

Why did he do this? I suppose we'll never know.

Swannie

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Wow. The insight folks bring to this story and the movie in particular continues to astound me. It really speaks volumes to the intensity of emotions this all stirs up that we can still have these kinds of discussion almost 3 years *gasp* past the release of this movie.

The story, I know, is much older. And while I still can't really stand LeReoux's book, obviously his story strikes some universal chords in so many people. So many different versions of the story in different forms. He may not have been what I would consider a great writer but he was spot on in how this story could speak to people's hearts.

From what I can tell, I don't think that's a manip either. There is the briefest of moments when he smiles. Isn't it right before he shows her the likeness of her in the wedding dress? Could be somewhere else too but my mind is a bit of a blank.

Oh wait! That gives me a great excuse to go watch it again. :tasty:

Jillian, Mistress of the Night

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Edit: Interesting thoughts, Swannie, about Erik having Mdme Giry try to buy the music box. I'd never thought of it that way but definitely a possibility.

And Deb? It's great to have you back. :kisswink:

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Call me nutz, but at the auction, just before Giry nods her head to Raoul when he offers his final bid, we hear a man's cough in the background. This could have been the Phantom's signal to Giry, to let Raoul have it. I like to think so. I like to think that our Phantom is still in the shadows, manipulating events to suit his purposes.

He always thought of the Opera Populiare as his domain, and he always had his thumb on everything that went on there. He would have been a very old man at the time of the auction, but he was by nature a survivor, and very possibly could still have been behind the scenes, pulling the strings of HIS Opera House.

Fascinating, yes?

Swannie

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You're killin' me, Swannie!!!!! Now I HAVE to watch the movie again and listen for the cough!

I'll have to suffer through staring at Gerry again. Such a chore though. *sigh*

:dance:

And yes. Absolutely fascinating. :kisswink:

Jillian, Mistress of the Night

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Yes..I'v often wondered if Phantom was lurking there in the old delapidated Opera House...His domain.....I just don't like 'thinking' that that's how he would have lived out the rest of his life...it sounds so sad, depressing & non- survivorish...(is that a word?) LOL! I've also thought about the ring being tied to the rose. Sometimes I just like to go with the simpler explanation...it was just a way to keep the rose & ring together on the grave instead of sendig it to Raoul...but I don't think Erik really neeeded to torture Raoul with making him think he still Owned Christine...that's just too demented for even me! LOL! Yes Raoul felt Erik's presence & was disturbed by it ..initially...but didn't there seem to be a moment of calm & peace shortly after? That's what I felt anyway....but that's just me reading stuff into what probably isn't there...jof course if you had to live your whole life alone without another person to share it with I guess you'd pretty much go crazy ....I thought the cough at the auction was kinda outta place...but ...yeah...coulda been Phantom ...but then if he were always there..why would he wait for an auction to get his music box back? what exactly are "the vaults" anyway??? I would think our Phantom is genius enough to pick a lock & get the box anytime he wanted....Hmmmm...more to think about....goody!

Jilly...I missed my siggy!!!!! LOL!

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I never sensed peace with Raoul at the end.... in fact, quite the opposite. I sensed that he was resigned to things as they were, but that he was not at peace. I really feel sorry for him in those scenes, because he is clearly a broken man. He looks like he may have suffered a stroke or two, and you just want to hold him in your arms and comfort him.

I've also wondered why the auction is held so long after the Opera house was destroyed. Why 2 years later? You would think they would have held the auction soon after the fire, when undamaged and salvageable items were first gathered. Why didn't reconstruction begin immediately? And why was the auction held on the 2nd anniversary of Christine's death?

Swannie

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Those of us 'Lair Sisters' that are going to 'The round table' at the convention, had better have lots of kleenex as we discuss all these ideas. Just reading and thinking about these posts tonight had me in tears. No one should be so alone.

Everyone needs another person's touch and conversation. No wonder he had a made up mannequin of Christine to keep him company. It reminds me of Tom Hanks in 'The Castaway' making a friend out of the basketball, he named Wilson. That ball helped him keep his sanity. Erik needed the mannequin for the same reason. But, oohh! There was no one to touch, or be touched by. Not a hand, or shoulder... no face to caress. I can see why he basked in the touch of Christine's hand on his face. No wonder he wasn't prepared for her removal of the mask. He didn't see it coming. He was too moved and intoxicated by her presence. How sad. Why did he let her take the mask off again up on the stage? Was he weighing the cost? Was there misplaced trust? Or, was it just plain hope?

This brings me back to the list of firsts that Swannie put together. Could he even handle those firsts?

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Maybe, Erik was at the auction hiding in box five.

Sally

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Music Box Fairy~ Keeper of his brave and daring soul

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For Pilar....

My personal Favorite...

Great Expectations...

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How could ya resist him, Christine? How?.....~le sigh~

Oh, Swann... LOL!I didn't mean peace in the sense that all was well & happily everafter...no...just a sense of...uhmmm..release...that Erik was no longer a threat....that it was indeed all over...and the whole thing was such a tragic & needless waste... that with so much love they both had for the same woman( they couldn't blame each other for loving her!)...neither was completely happy or fulfilled... but neither was willing to sacrifice himself & let her go...( well...actually... Erik did just that by letting them both go that last night in the lair...he knew she would stay with him only to save Raoul and that sacrifice she made to stay with 'the pitiful creature of darkness' was more than he could bear...more than his sacrifice of the possibility that he would spend the rest of his life in loneliness...and if Erik truly loved Christine, he would've wanted the best for her in life , love & happiness...and he knew she would be happy and well cared for with Raoul...not such a bad choice, really) and poor, valiant Raoul gallantly tried to save her from someone he truly imagined was a threat to her...not only physically, but emontionally also... and that's why it's such a tragedy... but if Erik was truly villainous, evil and heartless...we wouldn't have cared for him so much...if he truly despised Raoul in the end & Christine hadn't turned his heart around...I wouldn't have felt sorry for him...I was sorta hoping Erik could've got past those bad feelings (my own slant)...Erik knew Raoul wasn't to blame any more than Christine or he himself...he was the genius & master of the Opera...he knew what the Love Triangle tragedy was about....no one wins in the end...not until the wrongs are made right & the 'villain' decides not to be the villain & does the right thing....he may not win the girl...but at least he's not the bad guy anymore...is that how it goes? Some one must give in for the sake of everyone...first Christine did...then our Erik saw the reality of the situation...sad as it was...there was no other way he could have redeemed himself in her eyes...which in the end I think was more important to him that forcing her to stay with him...though she would have stayed willingly...but for Raoul...not out of love for him....and she did give him some reason for hope, a rememberance (remember the foreshadowing of her aria 'Think of Me'?)...that she did at least care for him in someway & would always remember the things they did..& didn't get a chance to do?...by giving him the ring back... placing that ring in his hand & gently folding his fingers over it whith her own hands...the same way as he placed the ring in her hand after placing the veil on her head...to him it was marriage that was important... he wasn't going to violate her virtue the way that she feared...in fact he seemed insulted that she thought he was capable of doing that to her (had he really become a monster in her eyes? How did that happen? Why couldn't she see how much he loved her?)...but later... that ring & more importantly their exchanges of the ring... came to mean something very important to both of them...a kind of commitment...soul to soul............a deeper spiritual connection that transcends time & circumstance? Sounds good to me any way...LOL!

I think if it were just a sad love story...Erik would've died there at the end...just like all the other Phantom movies that came before...but he didn't...he may have 'sealed his fate' ...his 'point of no return' that final agonizing night...but he didn't condemn himself...he had an escape planned no matter how it turned out...like Swann says..he's a survivor...so may be there Was something more that happend between the three of them during those mystery years....and maybe that's why ALW & Joel ended it the way they did...just daydreaming here...Swannie...you gotta finnish your story & give us a happier ending...please?????

Edited by Trouble
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For Pilar....

My personal Favorite...

Great Expectations...

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How could ya resist him, Christine? How?.....~le sigh~

Oh Lord..... look at the hope in his eyes! To me, that's what Gerry brought to this role... different from any other interpretation of the Phantom. He brought child like hope and innocence. You can see it in his eyes.

He's so close....

"Why Christine.... why, WHY?????

"

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Hello Ladies!!

I just had to add a note here tonight. I had to make a visit to the Lair tonight--because

I just returned from a most wonderful and memorable experience!! I got to, once again,

experience POTO in the medium where it truly belongs--on the big screen of a movie

theater. Tonight was the 2nd of what is to become an annual showing of POTO as a

pre Halloween event. Unfortunately the fact that it was shown on a Tuesday night resulted

in a smaller audience than attended last year's costume event, but those who did

attend were mostly from the community. What more can we ask for than having our

wonderful film shown yearly,for our viewing pleasure?

Swannie, we really missed you, and I hope you can make it next year. This movie BELONGS

on a full size screen--I felt as if I were following Erik and Christine down the passageway.

I guess this is the difference between movies and television. I feel as if I have just been

there--so I had to come "here" to complete the evening.

I wish you, my Sisters of the Lair, could have been there with me tonight. And my

dream is that by some miracle, I might find a way to get to Vegas so that I can share

in your "round table" discussion.

With that thought, I must get some much needed sleep.

Hugs,

Judith of the Lair, Keeper of the Innocents

and Guardian of the Royal Pug

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So ....I was awake all night ...tryin g to sleep...but the the scene of Raoul bidding on the music box...he holds it on his lap...touches it ever so delicately...his finger tracing the face of the little monkey..."Every detail exactly as she said... will you still haunt us when we're dead"....sounds so, so sad...& kinda foreboding....and he has those nose tears!...he's crying softly...remembering...thinking...what? It was obvious he was missing Christine so much (you had to see the movie at least twice to catch that part...LOL!)...But what were his feelings about Phantom at that point? Did Raoul despise him? I don't think so..not the way he treated the music box so carefully...touching the monkey's face with such sadness in his eyes...he didn't get angry & destroy the thing that symbolised the man who had come between them...and the feelings she apparently still harboured for him. I think if he were angry..he would have demolished it...or just let Mdme Giry have it & be done with it...but he need it...to give to Christine...but Why?...It wasn't over...the Phantom was still there...in their minds...haunting them...at least Raoul. Was that fear & sense of haunting justified though? or was that a misguided fear that Raoul couldn't let go of?...A fear that consumed his thoughts even for so many years later?... Then... the thought is interrupted by the auction/description/story.... & rising of the Chandelier.....Mdme Giry & Raoul both seemed sort of taken aback in the rememberance of that time when their lives were changed forever....Phantom ...& Christine at the center of it all....

As for Raoul being so frail ...so many reasons could be for that ...France was engaged in so many conflicts...the French Foreign Legion was deployed practically every where France had interests, & WWI certainly took it's toll on everything...people...lives...cities..buildings...Opera Houses...and then there was the horrible , devastating influenza epidemic...millions of people died...was Christine a victim of the virus? Had Raoul survived the disease... but leaving him in that weakened condidtion?...I've not read Kay's story yet...saving it for later along with all the other fanfic...I like to stay within the ALW storyline as much as possible...so I'm sorta grabbing at speculative straws here, trying not to go any farther than what was originally implied...& typing them out as they come ...sorry if none of this makes much sense...just Phantomish stuff to think about...like we can ever stop thinking about it!...I can't...and if Phantom has posessed our minds so...can you imagine the depths he occupied Christine's thoughts...was she as obsessed with him...in his various personas...as much as he was obsessed with her?.....Fascinating to think that this story is sort of an adaptation not only of Leroux's story but also a reflection of the relationship between ALW & Sarah Brightman....but that's another Love Story that didn't quite go as desired...~sigh

`

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Trouble, you mention the War in France. I thought I'd pass this on. My husband and I were talking about Raoul, being so old and in a wheel chair. He said, "Well, maybe Raoul went to war and was hurt fighting." He mentioned how careful he was with the music box. He thought if the story went on, maybe Erik saved his life during that war, so he couldn't hate him. Just a thought. Anything could have happened with all the turmoil.

Sally

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Posted Image :inlove:

Hey, GALS,

I right clicked the shite outta this one when Deb posted this somewhere else. I'm not even sure if it's a manip....but....Erik....smiling?

Beautiful.....

That picture HAS to be my favorite. I made it from an old program I no longer have. Its a simple screen cap from the movie. But it took me 3 hours of trying to hit the frame just right. It is the ONE true smile of happiness Erik blesses us with in the whole movie, which is why I treasure it.

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