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Swansong

He Moves Me

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I originally posted this GB.net.... It is my attempt at understanding how Gerry has effected many aspects of my life. I would like to hear from you GALS about your own soul connection to Gerry. It doesn't mean that we truly know him, but it does mean that there is something special about this man to have touched so many. Here are some of my thoughts:

I came to this site having recently gone through the absolute worst 2 years of my life. I came seeking information about the stunning actor who played the Phantom, But I found a place where others openly share their own journeys and heartaches.

I found myself in the midst of a community of writers, artists, singers and dreamers who were also drawn here because of Gerard and his movies. I cannot believe the changes in my life since my first viewing of POTO in Dec last year. I really was a walking dead woman... and then I saw POTO, and SOMETHING big happened on the inside of me. I was "soulslammed" back into life, and back into creativity and passion.

Like many of you, I am middle aged, have put on weight in recent years, and lost touch with the beautiful fun, crazy girl I used to be. Somehow the Phantom and Gerry have re-awakened that girl... have knocked on her door saying, "Hey Bonnie Anne, come out and play again!" God how I have missed her!

Not only am I writing a novel based on the Phantom (my version of course) but I have awakened sexually and passionately in my 26 year marriage. My son's illness and the stress that comes with it, had robbed me of my femininity and emotional honesty. I just found myself so lost, and unable to connect with anything good. But SOMETHING about POTO and Gerry's Phantom set off an alarm in my spirit, and began an inner dialogue which said:

"You're not too old to be sexy! You're not too old to be beautiful! You're not too old to have passion and romance! You're not too f***ing old to have fun, and you're still young enough to dream! So stop feeling sorry for yourself and LIVE!"

How could a movie and a man have done this? I have no idea! It is a beautiful mystery. I only

know that I wish I could find some way to express my thanks to Gerry and all those who worked on POTO. No movie has ever impacted me this way, and no actor has ever made me feel like 20 again, or made me unafraid of being 50!

It's some kind of magic, plain and simple.

-------------------------------------

Please share your thoughts GALS, how does Gerry move you?

Swan

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Thank you Bonnie. There are still some things that I can't share here, things in my life that I don't talk about with anyone, not even my oldest and closest friends. Someday I may be able to share them one-on-one, but I'm not sure. They aren't horrible secrets of abuse or anything like that, but they are things that made me feel less than a vibrant woman for a very long time. Those things are not resolved, but finding Gerry in POTO on New Years Eve and the other women on GB.net and here, has reawakened in me feelings that I thought were dead and buried. It is exciting and fun and has brought a dimension to my life that was very much needed and missing. It certainly is appropos that I found Gerry on New Years Eve because it was the dawning of a whole new chapter in my life - I turned 50 two months later and I think my 50's are going to be better and more alive than I had ever thought possible. Thanks to Gerard James Butler and all my fellow GALS and Tarts. Edited by SporranTart

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That was beautiful Bonnie! Im still young but unfortunatly for about two years now I have been thrust into adult life. I went through a really bad patch of hating my life, which picked up when I quit school. I was happier but something was still missing. I was getting lonely (I look after my parents and the house for a living) and I still wasnt really doing what I love. After watching POTO I became obsessed with singing again. I realised that now I had the money I could persue acting and singing. Gerry awakened my dreams that I was afraid of. And now...Im not lonely when I am stuck inside because I have you girls to chat to.

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Alright...

Dang it, I sometimes hate that I'm really soft and gooey in the middle, but I AM. So despite my usual lusty and saracastic posting here, I'm gonna get this over with.

My passion is theater, and singing. I was in every play and musical in high school. I got a scholarship in technical theater when I went to college. But due to creative differences with an insane Director of Theater and Fine Arts, I was momentarily stunted in my love. So I quit and changed my major (previously psychology) to Biology. I wanted something concrete and interesting. And I needed the extra time to study.

So I graduated with that and got a job in a research lab. I had been working in the lab for about a year and a half when I saw POTO. I guess I really knew all along that I wanted to go back to theater, because every time I saw a good play or musical I would get really depressed. I was just squelching it because I thought that I was being silly. I thought that my dream was stupid and impossible, and everyone told me that I would be smart to stay with something stable that made good money.

Well, after POTO, I couldn't get the movie or Gerry out of my head. His voice and his passionate performance just did something to me. I bought the soundtrack. I bought the movie. I looked him up on gb.net. But more than just his other movies, I found the personal stories. I found out that he was generous, kind, friggin hilarious, down to earth, a little wild. Had he just been hot, the obsession would have faded and died. But now I love the real man even more than all of his characters. But he also had another career. He wasn't classically trained as an actor or singer. His zest for life and passion were the impetus for me to seize my own.

Because I was just kinda floating along. Doing my job. No hobbies. And then BAM! I started to realize that I would regret not following my heart. I came to the conclusion that improbable does NOT equal impossible. And honestly, I'm used to improbable odds. LOTS of things are improbable.

So at 24 years old, I started ballet lessons. I went back to singing lessons. I got a head shot and put together a resume and started auditioning for community theater. AND I LOVE IT.

The man moves me. Not only in this, but in my understanding of men. Not that I have never dated or had a boyfriend. But I realized what was missing. PASSION. I have always been picky, but Gerry gives me hope that there are other fabulous men out there like himself. Again, improbable...not impossible!

So though he doesn't know me and might not ever meet me, I feel that I owe him thanks. And his incredible gift for acting never ceases to amaze me. If I can muster a tenth of his presence and emotional truth, I'll be one hell of an actress. And if I can live my life fully and be passionate about that, I'll have one hell of a good life.

Thanks Ger!

And thanks to my GALS Tarts too who keep me here and make me smile...or fan myself...depending!

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I have had a few stressful years with my business(I own an interior design firm), an ill parent and kids. Luckily I have a great husband. However, I was in a rut of sorts. I needed a diversion.

I don't know what exactly happened but the moment I saw Gerry as the Phantom singing "Music of the Night" something in my life changed. I could not keep his beautiful singing voice out of my mind nor the scene. Joel S. was right when he said the Gerry made a stunning Phantom. All of a sudden I had a goal to find out all I could about Gerry(knew him from Dracula) but needed more info. Of course I browsed the internet and found GB.net. I looked up all his movies etc. Anything Gerry. I also became interested in my Scottish roots again. So Gerry has given me a hobby I suppose. I collect all things Gerry and all things Scottish.

I am having a blast with GB.net, being a Tart is so much fun and Gerry is just...well too cute for words. Watching his interviews etc...is so uplifting. I mean how can you possibly be stressed out when all you have to do is watch some of his movies or come here and see what is going on in Gerry world. :gerryholic:

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Here we go, time to get wordy...

Finding Gerry, GB.net and the GALS came at the most opportune time. I graduated college 2 years ago and was totally lost at what to do. I just did what was easy and picked up a job in town. I was working an overnight shift and put on weight, A LOT of weight. Then after a year, I switched jobs; it was a better paying job, but I had no idea what it really entailed. Let's just say I don't suit the position I have, I have no idea how I got the job, I'm grateful for it, but it's slowly taking my sanity away. After several months, I had to go on some medication for the anxiety it caused me. Within all of this, my grandmother died (first immediate death ever in my family) and then my other grandmother had a series of 3 strokes a week after her death.

Things were spiraling, it was crazy. Then I re-discovered my love for POTO with the release of the movie. This helped a lot, I was able to focus on something else, even if to just listen to the music. I started going to the gym and eating healthier.

I didn't become obsessed with the G-man until the dvd came out. One listen of that sexy accent and I was a goner. After reading so much about his generosity and graciousness with his fans on GB.net, I was irrevocably hooked. He inspires me endlessly because he's always on my mind. I lurked for a while on GB.net because that's what I always did online. But then on my birthday (june 12), I decided to work on that part of myself too and give myself 8000 new friends as a gift, hehe.

Honestly I have never been happier, work still sucks, but I'm working on fixing it. I now do some additional work in a local web design firm each week, in order to beef up my skills and resume. I would never have strived to do that if I hadn't been inspired by the man's own history of following his dream.

I'm now 40 pounds lighter and still decreasing, I am planning to apply tomorrow for a different job, I have a great guy that is patient with the whole "gerry is god" thing, hehe, and I have my GALS. Life is good!

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Can I just say...All you girls are just as inspiring as the G-Man himself. :D

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I think that's what makes the whole Gerry phenomenon so amazing. I agree that had he just been a pretty face with nothing to back it up, the thrill would have worn off for many of us. But because he is such an amazing man and not just a fantastic, awe-inspiring actor, we have all fallen in love with him and not just his characters. Maybe that's part of what excites us most. He's the kind of guy that we all dream of. Flirtatious, hilarious, spontanious, gorgeous, couragous and talented beyond reason. And if that can really exist in Gerry, that just maybe there are more like him out there. I doubt it, but I can dream. I find it amazing that so many people have come together to tell thier stories and dreams because they were inspired by Gerry. How many other actors can boast that??? And it's not like we're just a bunch of drooling morons who just want a piece of a hot actor (well we are, but we're not JUST that), we have all been touched in a very real way by him, even though most of us have never met him. He is our muse, in every sense of the word. He brings out the best in all of us, and brings us together at the same time. I love Gerry and always will for his royal museness....

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Wow, such awesome and heart felt replies from y'all! Were it not for Gerry's beautiful inside, I would not be here drooling over his gorgeous outside. Don't you just love him? Oh I do, I really do.... and I mean that! I don't care who thinks I'm nutz, or silly, or stupid, I love this man!

(OMG I just friggin sound like that Diamond anniversary ring commercial!)

Swan :blonde: :mm:

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I've written and thought about this so much. I went to POTO with no expectations other than to see a big, beautiful musical. I did not know Gerry other than very vague rumors about the non-singer as Phantom and some disagreement as to his effectiveness. I had read no reviews and had not seen any of the promotions except the TV ad for the film. From the first moment of the film I was overwhelmed. And then the Phantom came on and the rest - well, you guys have been there. I was SLAMMED big time. Rarely has such a performance had such an effect on me. Emotionally real, powerful, vulnerable, sexy, sensual, angry, calculating, captivating - and I thought, No, he can't be that good - he's just good-looking and you're getting carried away. Second, third, fourth viewing and I conceeded defeat. By that time I had read his interviews, read of his fan connections, and started to see him in clips in interviews. I waited to be disenchanted - for his true colors to reveal himself - to be crude, or a lout, or vain or just stupid out of costume. (Says something about MY opinion of men, doesn't it Swan - or at least actors). Instead, he was funny, silly, thoughtful, vulnerable, cocky, beautiful, caring, risque, open and delightful. And he woke me up like nothing before. I have been married, am divorced, but kids and life and my own flaws had made me shut down and shut out life. I felt things I hadn't felt in years and assumed I would never feel again. And since what I love about him is his 'humaness' he has never, can never disappoint me. I don't expect him to be perfect, I don't WANT him to be perfect. I may some day shake my head and think, "Oh, Gerry!" but that's it. He is perfect in the sense that he reveals so many of his colors and he's REAL. And, maybe if there's one, there are more. Maybe. But even if there aren't I get to have him as often as I want. And the world seems more "possible" than before. Am I crazy? All this over an actor? That's why I'm on the web - you guys understand. And I refuse to qualify my experience or my language - I LOVE HIM - in everyway that matters. I care for and about him, want the best for him, worry about him, am amused by him, etc. I do not KNOW him and I do not put my life or responsibilities on hold WAITING for him. But, hey, if he ever knocks on the front door (a la Bridges of Madison County) you guys will never see him again. . .just so you know what happened!

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Hey! Check THIS out! Thanks for the :bump:, Swan!

*clears throat*

There's a lot of things I could say, but mostly I want to say that since coming upon this fabulous madness, I've been able to calm down about the right things to say, wear, the "right way" to act to be "accepted" into groups that I can't be myself around. Gerry is just SO himself and I love that.

For example, I know a lot of fans get all freaked out that he wears black pants and white trainers...but you know what? I friggin' LOVE it. Because he's not concerned! I mean, we've seen him in all sorts of styles, he wears what's comfortable. I love that. I hate it when people get so caught up in things like that about him. I mean, really...is it really hurting anyone? Nope.

Gerry's not the only one, just being here with all of you has helped me toss aside those fronts I used to put up for certain people, hoping I'd be "accepted" by them. I mean, there's influence, where you're introduced to something knew, and you take it on because you geniunely like it...and then there's the kind where you take it on (whatever IT may be) just to impress someone or be more like someone else...someone that's just not you.

Making sense? :smile:

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Hey Mel.... I admire that quality about Gerry myself. Whether it's real or part of his public persona, he does give off the sense that he is comfortable in his own skin, and knows who he is. I love some of his quirkier fashion statements, and agree with you, that it shows he doesn't always have to go along with the crowd.

In terms of clothing, I've always done my own thing; whether it be flowing velvet skirts and romantic hats, or flared jeans and peasant tops, I wear what I want.

I get the feeling that Gerry can't be pushed around when it comes to his personal choices. I bet if he even has a designer.... he gives her or him a lot of trouble, "Bloody hell.... I'm no wearing that rubbish!"

Or, "I'll wear whatever the heck I want, mate!"

Ya gotta love a man like that!

Swan

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Ok, I guess I must finally admit to my addiction. It became all too apparent last night when I got into a little bit of an altercation with a cashier at our local blockbuster video store. I was there looking for a Gerry fix when I remembered Dracula 2000. The clerk told me that I should instead rent Bram Stoker's Dracula because it's a better movie. I said thank you for his suggestion and said I was ok with the choice I had made but he kept insisting until finally I said, "Look, I don't care about the storyline, I'm renting it for the guy, OK?". So, I guess Mr. G has had an effect and I was denying it. I must admit I come here just to read what all of you have to say and laught because now I know I'm not completely alone nor totally crazy even though everybody else seems to think I am.

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I just love the fact that he's a movie star but so human!

He likes to act goofy and laugh at himself and at the same time he's so thoughtful and generous to his fans by donating his time and energy to us

I used to just work in a lab but now I'm working towards a masters in public health.

After seeing how he can relate to other people- I am working on my "people skills" because I've realized how important it is- to be able to give a little kindness to someone (like I've heard he's done so often) when you know they need it.

I hope in my new job that I will be able to give back a small portion of the good things he's given to us

I guess I could go on all day and say so many things about how he's influenced my life and made my grandma a little happier in her time of depression

I admire him for never giving up in the hard times during his childhood and throughout his life (I went through similar things in my chidlhood)

I think its so humble of him to go on the website to get opinions about how his fans feel

I also REALLY like the fact that he's so intelligent- but doesn't flaunt it! (That is the ultimate to me)

Ahh what a guy!

Michele

Edited by rosesheart36

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Guest greyeyegoddess

For the most part, I have a very full and active social life, because of the fans nearby.

I don't know how you gals feel, but are there people in your life who you just love to be around? People who just make you smile when he/she walks in the room? They seem to make everything ok in your life, no matter what is really going on?

That's what Gerry does to me....

I've met a lot of celebrities and entertainers, and there have been very, very few who make me feel like I want to meet them again. There's just something Gerry gives off that you want to always have, whether you describe it as a vibe, as grace, as beauty, as kindness, as sexiness, whatever!

Although I won't say that he's influence me to take better care of myself (because I always have that goal in my head) I'll say that he's definitely a great push, thanks to the friends I've met through the various sites, who support me.

~alice

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:confused:

Don't know how I feel at the moment, but when I saw this thought for the week in a national newspaper,

'Your eyes will see the king in his beauty.'

I thought this,

:leo:

When it was from this....Isaiah 33:17 I am surely under some spell, I am doomed if not damned!

'Lord forgive this sinner', and the rest of the Gals if the worship of Gerard is wrong!

:leo:

Anna

:hearts:

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Oh this takes me back a few years...since 2001.....first time I noticed him was in D2000. I just couldn't imagine who that man was......I still don't fully understand this either......and what is funny? I don't want to.

My friends all think Im nuts for going to the lengths I did to meet him but it was worth it.

It is hard to explain how he could get under my skin when I am pretty cool about almost everything. I worked in politics so you either have an icy heart to start with or you grow one. Somehow none of that mattered.

When I met him in Dec. 2004 I thought I was prepared but I wasn't. How can I describe him? How? I don't know. There is a certain something about him that reaches out and grabs you. I should have been used to the famous and powerful considering who I worked for in DC but he is so different from any man I have ever met. Usually you look, say he is cute, hot whatever and you shrug and go on about your business. But Gerry.....he is a force to be reckoned with. As I said he gets under your skin immediatly. Overwhelming. I still smile when I think of it. This could be infuriating (at least for me grrrrrrrr) but somehow because he is such a good guy you end up forgiving him...he can't help it. He is who he is and I adore him for that.

I can't say he made me a better writer or whatever but he has inspired me a great deal. I am probably more patient and forgiving about certain things more willing to express my thoughts and not be afraid of the consequences. I am more willing to take people as they come......

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If you could put everything you ever wanted in a friend, boyfriend or husband into a bowl mix it

up and make a man, it would make Gerry.

As a single Gal I now have a gerrymark that every man I meet has to come up too and here's the

reason, i'm not holding out for Gerry or anything(well maybe a bit lol) but if he can do it and be

in the public eye have his every move remarked upon (good or bad) then why can't my future forever

guy be the same. I was just watching some clips of the man himself courtsey of the site and I was

laughin my arse off. He is such a witty, generous, humble, striking and kind soul he inspires me to be the best I can be at everything I do. A simple glimpse of his picture(yes one is in my wallet and he is the screensaver on my mobile)and I smile only my nearest and dearest can do that to me and i consider gerry one of them.

He gives me the hummana, hummana, hummana feelings everytime I see a pic, watch a vid or listen to the POTO.

Every actor have taken a liking to has been 2d, Gerry is 3d in my life so much so i am considering on heading to VEGAS to see all you gals and obsess for a whole weekend. I just need to figure out if it's possible

Gerry you're a DUDE!!

Love ya lots like jelly tots baby xxxx

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I don't know how you gals feel, but are there people in your life who you just love to be around? People who just make you smile when he/she walks in the room? They seem to make everything ok in your life, no matter what is really going on?

YES.

I love people like that. They just calm me when they walk in a room...I mean, I get excited to see them, but then things are just good around them. Since I'm not a personal friend of Gerry's, let alone ever met the man, I don't think "calm" would be the right word if he just happened to walk into the room... :lol: but perhaps if I knew him on a personal basis, then he'd most likely be one of those people for me.

The last guy who really, really did that for me...okay, not going to go into too much detail, because the whole thing had a bittersweet ending, but at the time the two of us were doing a touring show together, and a few cue people in the show with us drove me insane. So many things about them were contrived and downright frustrating. This said guy, this friend of mine...everything was different with him. He had his own unique sense of humor that just matched mine, he was himself and he didn't have to stoop to contrived behavior to try and fit in. He didn't belong to any clique, he was just everyone's friend. He didn't seem to care what people thought of him. He was sooo funny and just a big goofball, but so talented and such a hard worker. I drew strength from that man when everything around me was crashing down.

So...to make a long story short (too late), the world needs more people like that.

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I don't know how you gals feel, but are there people in your life who you just love to be around? People who just make you smile when he/she walks in the room? They seem to make everything ok in your life, no matter what is really going on?

That's what Gerry does to me....

I don't really have anyone like that in my life...but I will say that when I've had bad days, Gerry, in one way or another has made some of them more tolerable. He's my escape....

Although I won't say that he's influence me to take better care of myself (because I always have that goal in my head) I'll say that he's definitely a great push

He helped me there too. Up until about a year ago...I had a serious problem. From what I know of Gerry I've always felt like I could relate to him, and his openness in talking about his struggles with addiction was one of the motivating factors that finally enabled me to talk to someone about what I was going through.

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^^ I agree with all you've said. Also, if I'm having a really bad day, I can come home and put on a Gerry movie and I can escape into another world and hopefully this will make me feel better. And his smiling face kind of helps too! ::D:

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:Draculababy: I have found a few "stars" over the years have made me think WOW but not a single one of them has made my heart stop like Gerry. He has given me a reason to dream again. It isn't that he is handsome (but God knows he is that) it is something else. A very dear friend who has met him said that he has "An Aura" that draws people to him and I believe that she is right. It is not one particular thing about Gerry that keeps us begging for more it is just HIM. He touches us (even those of us who have never set eyes upon him) can feel it. He is a gift and one that I will treasure always

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I originally posted this GB.net.... It is my attempt at understanding how Gerry has effected many aspects of my life. I would like to hear from you GALS about your own soul connection to Gerry. It doesn't mean that we truly know him, but it does mean that there is something special about this man to have touched so many. Here are some of my thoughts:

I came to this site having recently gone through the absolute worst 2 years of my life. I came seeking information about the stunning actor who played the Phantom, But I found a place where others openly share their own journeys and heartaches.

I found myself in the midst of a community of writers, artists, singers and dreamers who were also drawn here because of Gerard and his movies. I cannot believe the changes in my life since my first viewing of POTO in Dec last year. I really was a walking dead woman... and then I saw POTO, and SOMETHING big happened on the inside of me. I was "soulslammed" back into life, and back into creativity and passion.

Like many of you, I am middle aged, have put on weight in recent years, and lost touch with the beautiful fun, crazy girl I used to be. Somehow the Phantom and Gerry have re-awakened that girl... have knocked on her door saying, "Hey Bonnie Anne, come out and play again!" God how I have missed her!

Not only am I writing a novel based on the Phantom (my version of course) but I have awakened sexually and passionately in my 26 year marriage. My son's illness and the stress that comes with it, had robbed me of my femininity and emotional honesty. I just found myself so lost, and unable to connect with anything good. But SOMETHING about POTO and Gerry's Phantom set off an alarm in my spirit, and began an inner dialogue which said:

"You're not too old to be sexy! You're not too old to be beautiful! You're not too old to have passion and romance! You're not too f***ing old to have fun, and you're still young enough to dream! So stop feeling sorry for yourself and LIVE!"

How could a movie and a man have done this? I have no idea! It is a beautiful mystery. I only

know that I wish I could find some way to express my thanks to Gerry and all those who worked on POTO. No movie has ever impacted me this way, and no actor has ever made me feel like 20 again, or made me unafraid of being 50!

It's some kind of magic, plain and simple.

-------------------------------------

Please share your thoughts GALS, how does Gerry move you?

Swan

Dear Swan,

Your thoughts on Gerry sounds a lot like mine.

I had come out of a verbally abusive relationship of 5 years, I was unhappy, also overweight,

I am losing weight now because I am away from this man & my happy nature & sense of humor is coming back again.

At Christmas time, my son bought me POTO, I saw the disfigured side of Gerry's face but then he turned around and I saw the other half of his face and I had to see the whole package and when I went to Google and found a gorgeous photo of this wonderful man, it was like he had taken my breath away!!

I just had to find out more about this gorgeous man as well. I don't understand what power he had over women, it's not just his very handsome face, his gorgeous body or his very cute Scottish accent, it's also the way that he treats his fans, his wonderful sense of humor and Gerry is just so "down to eartth".

I just love this man, he cares and that is a great thing to do.

This is my first post, I was only accepted yesterday, I hope that I'm doing this right?

I apologise if I've done this wrongly.

Thanks for reading this, I have really opened my heart as you have.

Cheers from an Australian Gerry Fan,

Deborah :Draculababy:

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:welcome: to GALS!!

You posted perfectly, Deborah.

You'll find you're in good company around here with those difficult to explain feelings about Gerry. But you did a wonderful job. He's quite a guy, to say the very least. :inlove:

Have fun learning about him and having fun around here! :rose:

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