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Guest DonnaKat

Silly Messages for Gerry Part 3

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Guest DonnaKat

Roosters are hard to catch and even harder to hold onto. They are early-risers too. Up at the crack of dawn.

I forgot to mention my screen name: DawnaKat.

Hey, that's pretty cool! My mom should have spelled my name Dawna instead of Donna. I guess she wasn't thinking too much of that though, given the labor pains and everything.

I used to catch roosters on my grandparents farm. I'd catch 'em and put 'em on my lap and stroke 'em until they fell asleep, all contendedlike. I wonder if it would still work today?

Gerry doesn't need silicone in his pants. He said himself he had a J-Lo booty. Didn't you, Gerry?

Let's hear it for the bootay!

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I think Gerry's butt was and is fine. He should not have had to pad it for Don Juan Triumphant. He had enough crap on his face.

Donnakat, please don't make poor little Gerry have to put on too much stage make up or pad anything in your movie. Keep him comfortable. Spoil him terribly.

I never could catch a freaking chicken and I tried.

Love,

Tracy

Edited by JustCallMeTracy

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Gerry, you have the nicest J-Lo arse. Men who don't have arses procure a thumbs-down in my book. And don't you dare EVER sport the baggy look. We ladies like the contours of a man's derriere.

Donna, your method of stroking the rooster would definitely work today. I'll unleash Gerry's rooster so you can try it out.

Charli, that's EXACTLY how I described Gerry's fantasy boudoir: heart-shaped bed with leopard print covers and comforter, a shimmering disco ball, inflatable dolls, the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack and Gerry sprawled on the aforementioned bed whilst murmuring in his best Barry White voice: "I'm gonna love you up, baby." (stifling giggles)

I wasn't in college when the disco era rolled around, but I was in grammar school and actually enjoyed all kinds of music...including disco. Man, I loved Donna Summers' voice! My sisters were in college, however, and they discouraged me from listening to Donna. So I switched to Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon at that point.

Dragoness, don't you wish that Gerry had a tandem bicycle so HE could wheel you around campus?

Edited by Phantom's Muse

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Dragoness, don't you wish that Gerry had a tandem bicycle so HE could wheel you around campus?

Actually, not really. I just finicky like that. :funnyface: I prefer to wheel myself around. However he'd be more than welcome to tag along on his own bike. :cunning:

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Ooo, talking about Gerry's tush, are we? I'm all eyes! :cunning:

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Ooo, talking about Gerry's tush, are we? I'm all eyes! :cunning:

We should appoint Butlerbabe as "The Official Ogler of Gerry's Tush" and find a role for her in the movie production.

EDIT: I noticed that my siggie didn't show up on this post. I'm trying to finagle it so that it does.

Edited by Phantom's Muse

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I merely think the poor dear should not have to ever pad his butt again whether his sports this J -Lo sort or he reverts back to flat one.

Ode to Arses

Lovest thou me not because my butt be flat?

Lovest me not because my butt be fat?

Does a flat but not sit in a chair?

Does a fat butt not blow out air?

What more dost thou expect of a rear?

We can't all be prefect ya hear?

So love the butt God gave you

whether it sags, stands firm, is flat or grotesquely fat.

Every butt deserves love. Unconditional love.

So I will be good to my butt,

You be good to yours too.

Show your rear the love it is due.

Love,

Tracy :bum:

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That reminds me of some tarts who wrote odes to a bellybutton.

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Hey Gerry, When ever you need a 'dinky' I'll give you one!

(Unbeknown to Gerry, this is a prime position for major buttage pervation for Charli)

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A...dinky? Is that like a binky for butts? What about a b*******? (Uh oh...I once mentioned that evil word on this site and was roundly reprimanded and spanked. Hey, let's see if it happens again! LOL)

Edited by discoveringme
Inappropriate word removed

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Guest DonnaKat

How do I love cheeks? Let me count the ways.

I love cheeks to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the end of Being and ideal Grace.

Shall I compare thy buttocks to a summer's day?

They art more round and more apple-shaped:

Rough winds do shake the darling cheeks of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

So I prefer the summer's moon.

See how he leans his cheek upon the stand.

Oh, that I were wood upon that stand.

That I might touch that cheek.

My buttocks doth be sore at the stiff harsh discipline of the spankings;

Yea, even the spankings giveth out by the Official Spanker.

Methinks the discipliner delights in such dolances;

But alas, methinks it is oft deserved.

Donna's been watching "Shakespeare in Love" and is waxing poetic. Yes, I said waxing. Where's my buffer?

Edited by DonnaKat

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You are Shakespeare's twin soul, Donna. I can wax poetic as well, but I haven't been in the mood to write naughty sonnets. However, you can. You do. And good ol' Will was somewhat naughty as well so I'm sure that he's beaming at you from some remote and heavenly cosmos.

Hey, the Official Spanker hasn't done her duty as of yet. Charli, I really need to know what a "dinky" is.

Edited by discoveringme
See above post

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Guest DonnaKat

Well, if good old Sir William looks anything like Joseph Fiennes, I'd love to be his evil twin...I mean...twin soul. :cunning:

I want to know what a dinky is, too. So far all I've gathered is it's either some sort of toy car, or a talking dingo.

Wouldn't it be wild if our pets could talk to us? I wonder what mine would say....

Gerry, you should buy a cockatoo and teach it to talk. That way it could do interviews for you, and you could flip it about wherever you wish...provided they allowed cockatoos in their establishment. You could flip people the bird - literally. And I betcha it'd make a good chick magnet, too. It could say all your pick up lines in fine cockatoo fashion.

I really shouldn't be giving you all these chick magnet pointers, should I?

Oh, but DON'T bring it to church. There was a weird dude that used to go to my brother's church who swore God had told him I was going to be his wife. He took his bird to church once, and had the poor thing in his coat. He was creepy. There's a fine line between charming and creepy, and he not only crossed it, but went running for the hills. He was also older than my dad, which made it even worse.

No wonder I'm single. I seem to attract weirdos. Maybe that's why I'm here. :duck:

*ducks rotten tomatoes*

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A cockatoo could flip the bird at idiots, and Lolita can pee on their shoes. Now that's a great tag team. Gerry, I don't want to provide "chick magnet pointers," either...but the aforementioned would really save time for you. You could continue your jog or bike ride without even verbally responding to the razzing 'razzi. Just let your official tag team handle 'em.

I've had dreams about my cats talking to me, and there are times when I swear they can understand every single thing I say. In fact, today is Zoey's 11th birthday (she's the chunky orange tabby who's been an integral part of my life since she was three weeks old). The lovely girl at Lick Your Chops giftwrapped the catnip mouse for her, and after playing with it for a solid thirty minutes this morning, Miss Zoey's been asleep the rest of the day. God bless her heart.

Joseph Fiennes is...fine.

That weird dude from church was way more than merely "weird," he was one grilled tofu sandwich short of a Memorial Day picnic. Good glory. Don't feel badly, honey, I've attracted wackos as well. I think they just like our vibe because it's the relatively normal vibe that they know they'll NEVER cultivate.

Edited by Phantom's Muse

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*rolling with laughter* Damn, y'all are fecking killing me.

Well, this is my 300th post. YAY!!!! I'm gettin there, babes! I'm gettin there!!!!

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That reminds me of some tarts who wrote odes to a bellybutton.

I did an ode to tighty whiteys once too.

Butts and tighty whiteys. What good friends they are.

Love.

Tracy :kiss:

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Guest DonnaKat

I'm full of...ideas.

How is this for a romantic comedy?

A semi-wealthy businessman from LA is forced to relocate to a backwoods Kansas town after a messy and costly divorce. Down on his luck and finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meet, he is forced to take a job going door to door selling cheap sex toys. One day a tornado sweeps through the town of Toto, Kansas, leaving devastation and destruction in it's wake. During the tornado, the man is knocked unconscious by a giant swing, and awakens to discover he's "not in Kansas anymore". Over the course of time, he decides to make the best of a bad situation, and continues his door to door operation in this wonderful mystery land of Oz. One day he happens upon the door of the lonely local female witch. They strike up a friendship, but only time will tell if it develops into something more.

I'm calling it "Something Wicked This Way Comes".

Edited by DonnaKat

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Guest DonnaKat

Hmmmm, dead crowd.

Crickets.

Not much going on here.

I guess I have Gerry all to myself, then. :cunning:

Posted Image

What? :confused:

Posted Image

I'm not that scary, am I?

"Somebody call 911."

Posted Image

"You stay away from me!"

Posted Image

Dang. Paranoid much? I didn't mean any harm.

*hides handcuffs, Cheez Whiz and peacock feathers behind back*

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Guest DonnaKat

Well, as long as I have you all to myself...

Will you be my love monkey?

Posted Image

I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. You supply the bananas, and I'll supply the milk and juice. Together, I'm sure we can make some wonderful smoothies.

How's that for a bad pickup line.

Wanna lei?

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Guest DonnaKat

Okay, why is it every time I post in this thread, immediately after there are a bunch of "guests" viewing? Danged googlebots, probably.

I mean, there are 13 guests right now. Surely that many people aren't interested in what I have to say.

This thread is dead otherwise, though.

Hi, guests....whoever you are.

If it weren't for you, I'd be alone. Utterly, and completely, alone.

Well, not really....but it sounds kinda pathetic and movie-like, doesn't it?

"A woman....all alone. In the darkness. With only a sock monkey, two large rubber bands, some barbed wire, a goat, and a single can of Campbells chicken noodle soup to keep her company."

*contemplates a suspense storyline.*

Edited by DonnaKat

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Oh, my DK Why hast thou been forsaken?

Posted Image

Here's Gerry

Posted Image

Meg and Erik

Posted Image

Gerry again.

Posted Image

and Archie to play with you.

Love,

Tracy :kiss:

Edited by JustCallMeTracy

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Guest DonnaKat

Dang. This is one time I did want to be alone. :cunning:

ETA: How appropriate. This post made me a 3AM GAL. I have officially "arrived".

Edited by DonnaKat

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Ok, I'm moved into my dorm, started my on-campus job, gotten my internet back, and my feet are none too happy with me. I'm working in the kitchen at the restaurant on the campus and while I love what I do in my job, the shoes I have to wear for it aren't broken in and have been wreaking havoc on my feet. Not to mention, I'm working an 8 hour shift and and standing all day on a 8 in concrete floor with about as much give as the pavement. Fortunately I have good co-workers and an awesome supervisor. :) Have you ever worked in a kitchen Gerry?

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