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Guest DonnaKat

Silly Messages to Gerry Part 4

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Guest DonnaKat

With this thread, I am going to endeavor to concoct as many rhymes and limericks as I can. The rest of you may join in, or if you prefer just carry on as usual. I can't promise the rhymes will be good, nor can I promise they will be politically correct. They will, however, be filled with euphenisms and sometimes things that simply make no sense to anyone other than myself. After all, I live in my own head, and it's a weird and mysterious place. If you can decipher the weirdness, you get extra points. The points don't matter, but you get them anyway.

Oh, and I will on occasion be talking about pirates. Okay, maybe more than on occasion. I can't help it. I like pirates.

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I've come to the conclusion that I had a bad pair of shoes. I switched pairs today and was amazed at how my feet were only tired at the end of the day, not hurting to point where I was limping on both of them. Donna, feel free to talk about pirates. I always find your posts highly interesting. :)

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Guest DonnaKat

There once was a pirate they called "Genius",

his head it was shaped like a ....

Wait a minute, can't use that one. :hmm:

Okay, how about this one:

There once was a pirate named Gerry,

who had a big sword that he liked to parry.

With his weapon of steel,

he could clobber an eel,

whilst wooing and singing the Barry....

White, that is.

Black velvet, Texas G.

Speaking of which, Barry White was born in Texas. That was a coincidence, but it fit quite nicely, don't you think?

Y'all never thought I could get Gerry, a pirate and Barry White all in the same limerick, did you?

This thread could prove to be a real challenge for me. I love a challenge. :D

Edited by DonnaKat

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Guest DonnaKat

Hmmm, apparently no one wants to be silly anymore. :tissues:

Gerry, I just tried to tell you how manly purty you were on the "More than Just a Pretty Face" thread, and ended up sounding like Billy Joel.

I'm pathetic.

I mentioned hair and sweat, and I don't think I came across exactly the way I meant to.

I'm not very smooth. I'm kinda like a Redneck Love Poem.

And speaking of which, I'm supposed to do rhymes, aren't I?

This one isn't original, but I'm too lazy to make something up right now:

Redneck Love Poem

Forget LA, Gerry...we'll treat ya up real nice here in the sticks of St. Louis. :D

Edited by DonnaKat

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Guest Helena

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II (revised)

I am too bold, 'tis not to me he speaks:

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat his eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if his eyes were there, they in his head?

The brightness of his smile would shame those stars,

As daylight doth a lamp; his eyes in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See, how he leans against the pole!

O, that I were the paint upon that pole,

That I might touch that arm!

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Guest DonnaKat

Awww, thanks! I still think I'm pathetic, though.

I mean, I'm talking rhymes to myself in a thread that doesn't make all that much sense.

Time to tweak the old social life.

Ignore me, Gerry...I'm hormonal. You should thank God you'll never be hormonal, cuz being hormonal sucks.

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Guest Helena

No I think you're real funny actually. And I also think yer balsy! I like balsy pirates. Ayrrrrrr

Awww, thanks! I still think I'm pathetic, though.

I mean, I'm talking rhymes to myself in a thread that doesn't make all that much sense.

Time to tweak the old social life.

Ignore me, Gerry...I'm hormonal. You should thank God you'll never be hormonal, cuz being hormonal sucks.

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Guest DonnaKat

Gerry, thou art like a hamburger.

Yea, indeed a hamburger with cheese.

Cheese that art laced with the finest of dairy delicacies.

Wouldst that I might taste of thine dairy goodness.

But alas, I am thoudst in the middle of the sticks, and am surrounded by rednecks.

Wouldst thou rescue me from the burping, belching masses?

I didst thou hear the rudeness in the warehouse this afternoon.

I would feign have corrected the offender, but I chose thou to laugh instead.

I wouldst thou would sing to me the Music of the Night,

for I am randy and am in need of nourishment from thy loins...I mean, from thou voice.

Yea, voice.

Forget the previous loin statement.

Unless you don't want to.

Edited by DonnaKat

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Guest Helena

loooooool you crack me up!!

No competition fair maiden, only arms to join forces.

Together we stand, divided we fall.

What say ye?

Ooh, do I sense some competition in weirdness?????

Gerry, thou art like a hamburger.

Yea, indeed a hamburger with cheese.

Cheese that art laced with the finest of dairy delicacies.

Wouldst that I might taste of thine dairy goodness.

But alas, I am thoudst in the middle of the sticks, and am surrounded by rednecks.

Wouldst thou rescue me from the burping, belching masses?

I didst thou hear the rudeness in the warehouse this afternoon.

I would feign have corrected the offender, but I chose thou to laugh instead.

I wouldst thou would sing to me the Music of the Night,

for I am randy and am in need of nourishment from thy loins...I mean, from thou voice.

Yea, voice.

Forget the previous loin statement.

Unless you don't want to.

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Guest DonnaKat

I say that last rhyme made my head hurt. :lmao:

I wish Shakespeare looked like Joseph Fiennes. If he did, I'd have no problem shaking his pier, if you know what I mean.

Ahem...but I digress...Gerry, thou art like a big old hamburger.

A big warm bun and a huge hunka meat.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like I'm gratuitously gratuitousing Gerry or anything, cuz I'm not. I think he's rad. Yes, I said rad. I'm an 80's child.

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Guest Helena

mmm, spiced pork burgers. :yummy:

..and by all means, feel free to invite your manager!

Ingredients

For the burgers

2 tbsp olive oil, plus extra to fry the burgers

1 small onion, finely chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed

1 tsp coriander powder

1 tsp cumin powder

1 tsp chilli powder

1 tsp pink peppercorns, crushed

600g/1¼lb pork mince

200g/6½oz pork fat, minced

1 tbsp chopped fresh sage

2 free-range eggs

salt and freshly ground black pepper

To assemble the burgers

4 rings fresh pineapple

8 thin slices gruyère

2 hamburger buns

50g/2oz rocket

2 vine-ripened tomatoes

100ml/3½fl oz mayonnaise

1 tsp chillies, finely chopped

onion rings, to serve

Method

1. In a frying pan, heat the olive oil and add the onions, garlic, coriander, cumin, chilli powder and peppercorns. Cook for two minutes on a medium heat.

2. Cool the onion and garlic mixture and transfer to a mixing bowl with the pork mince and fat, sage and eggs.

3. Mix well and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

4. Using your hands, shape the mixture into four large patties about 2-3cm (1inch) thick.

5. In a heavy frying pan, cook the patties in a little olive oil on a medium heat for three minutes each side or until the meat is cooked all the way through.

6. While the burgers are cooking, preheat the grill to hot.

6. Grill the pineapple for a minute, and then add two slices of gruyère to each ring. Grill for a further 30 seconds, until the cheese has melted.

7. Slice the hamburger buns in half and toast the four halves on both sides.

8. To construct the burger, place a small amount of rocket on each half bun, followed by slices of tomato, a pork burger and a cheesy pineapple ring.

10. Mix the mayonnaise and the chilli together and drizzle. Serve with onion rings.

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Okay folks. The Weird Messages thread is going to be combined with the Silly Messages thread. Hopefully nothing will get lost in the transition.

If y'all could hold off posting for a couple of minutes, it would be greatly appreciated and would lessen the chance of something disappearing.

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Guest DonnaKat

Wheee, the Silly Messages thread has life!

Helena, I have a free range egg or two, if Gerry wants to provide the cheesy pineapple ring.

And keeping with my rhyming theme (this is hard, Gerry...you better appreciate it :) )....

Mmmm, bbq...

what would you do...

for a good bbq?

Would you bbq in a sock?

Would you bbq on a rock?

Would you bbq round the clock?

Would you bbq your pet........rooster?

Would you bbq all night long?

Would you bbq for a song?

Would you bbq in a thong?

Would you bbq and then eat a Ding Dong?

Mmmm, gotta stop right there.

Ding Dongs....I'm so craving them now.

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Okey dokey. The move is complete.

Just please try to keep in mind that while obviously the intention is to be light-hearted in here, please at least make some attempt to address the posts to Gerry. Otherwise, they really don't belong in the Fan Support messages to Gerry. Right?

Another note - keep it respectful as always.

:thankyou:

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Guest Helena

They belong in here only if we want "Gerry" to read the stuff we write. I think the entertainer should also be entertained.

Oh yes, it's the kinda stuff that keeps the brew from getting stuck at the bottom...it needs lots of stirring.

Don't forget to stir Gerry.

Stirring is as important as the ingerdients themselves. No matter what you're cooking.

Okey dokey. The move is complete.

Just please try to keep in mind that while obviously the intention is to be light-hearted in here, please at least make some attempt to address the posts to Gerry. Otherwise, they really don't belong in the Fan Support messages to Gerry. Right?

Another note - keep it respectful as always.

:thankyou:

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Guest DonnaKat

THANK YOU!!! :wave:

Gerry, as I was saying (somewhere), you're testosterone incarnate. I don't have a rhyme for testosterone, I'm sorry.

You'll just have to imagine I'm concocting a lively limerick dedicated to the wonder that is testosterone. Let me think about things that rhyme with "testosterone".

Hmmm, nothing comes to mind.

No, wait a minute!

Best Pasta....no, that's not it.

Gerry, I'm losing my silly touch. Time to go to bed.

I'll take two silly pills and call you in the morning. :D

Do y'all mind if I stir Gerry a bit? He's getting rather congealed. :lol: Can't have a congealed Gerry lying about, can we?

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Guest Helena

oh absolutely not, please, by all means stir away.

hmmm...testosterone...

How bout your testosterone gives you muscle tone?

THANK YOU!!! :wave:

Gerry, as I was saying (somewhere), you're testosterone incarnate. I don't have a rhyme for testosterone, I'm sorry.

You'll just have to imagine I'm concocting a lively limerick dedicated to the wonder that is testosterone. Let me think about things that rhyme with "testosterone".

Hmmm, nothing comes to mind.

No, wait a minute!

Best Pasta....no, that's not it.

Gerry, I'm losing my silly touch. Time to go to bed.

I'll take two silly pills and call you in the morning. :D

Do y'all mind if I stir Gerry a bit? He's getting rather congealed. :lol: Can't have a congealed Gerry lying about, can we?

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I am sorry I have been lax in coming in here. I will try and do better. I have Archie in my siggy now too, Donna.

Love,

Tracy :kiss:

P.S. I'm hungry.

Edited by JustCallMeTracy

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Guest Helena

He who treads the Path in earnest

Sees not the mistakes of the world;

If we find fault with others

We ourselves are also in the wrong.

When other people are in the wrong, we should ignore it,

For it is wrong for us to find fault.

By getting rid of this habit of fault-finding

We cut off a source of defilement.

When neither hatred nor love disturb our mind

Serenely we sleep.

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He who treads the Path in earnest

Sees not the mistakes of the world;

If we find fault with others

We ourselves are also in the wrong.

When other people are in the wrong, we should ignore it,

For it is wrong for us to find fault.

By getting rid of this habit of fault-finding

We cut off a source of defilement.

When neither hatred nor love disturb our mind

Serenely we sleep.

Wong Mou-Lam, tr. "The Sutra of Hui Neng," ....... The Diamond Sutra & The Sutra of Hui Neng.

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Guest Helena

Right On!! I'm impressed. ;)

He who treads the Path in earnest

Sees not the mistakes of the world;

If we find fault with others

We ourselves are also in the wrong.

When other people are in the wrong, we should ignore it,

For it is wrong for us to find fault.

By getting rid of this habit of fault-finding

We cut off a source of defilement.

When neither hatred nor love disturb our mind

Serenely we sleep.

Wong Mou-Lam, tr. "The Sutra of Hui Neng," ....... The Diamond Sutra & The Sutra of Hui Neng.

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Guest DonnaKat

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and you'll feed him for a lifetime.

Teach an idiot to fish, and you better get out of the way because a hook in the hands of an idiot is a dangerous thing.

Better to give an idiot a fish instead.

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Guest Helena

mmmm I love fish!

Gerry, eat more fish!!

Numerous studies have all shown that eating wild salmon at least once per week significantly reduced the risk of developing both Alzheimer's and Dementia compared to those who did not. Wow! Talk about an easy (and tasty) way to significantly reduce my chances of developing mental diseases?!

Wild salmon is high in protein, no carbs. Let's just say that you won't get fat eating wild salmon...

Is one of the best sources of the all-important Omega-3 fatty acids on the planet, which has been shown to help with everything from reducing inflammation in the brain to lower bad cholesterol to improve mood and overall brain function to help regenerate nerve cells to improve skin to numerous heart & cardiovascular benefits to...the list goes on.

Contains an essential fatty acid called DHA which numerous studies have shown helps reduce risk of cognitive impairments in general, as well as Dementia and Alzheimer's.

Is one of the fish least associated (lowest in) trace environmental toxins such as mercury.

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