Jump to content
Gerard Butler GALS

The Phantom at McDonalds


Sebbied
 Share

Recommended Posts

you guys thanks for enjoying this so much--I love reading your feedback....I don't know if I will finsih this--but I keep having these weird random bursts of scenes..

As the evening wears on, Erik sits at his organ trying to compose his latest musical triumphTRYING not to be distracted by the girl passed out on the hamburger buns.

The melody entered his mind againso powerful it was almost tangibleso fleeting, it might as well be vapor.

He glanced with frustration at the prone female. Not only does she snore like a drunkard, but those hamburgers buns are beyond repair! Ill be damned if the cost is taken out of my salary--minimum wage is hardly twenty thousand francs.

He plays a few notes on the organ, grumbling about getting the Union involved, when a particularly loud drawn out snort issues from Kristin. Blast it! I need a breaka break!...Thats it!

His nostrils flare with excitement. Erik closes his eyes, his skillful fingers dance nimbly over the smooth keys, he begins to singhis voicea rich roiling tenor of exquisite soundbooms out---

Big Mac, Filet OFish, Quarter PounderGrilled Chickenno..noQuarter PounderFRENCH FRIESperfect!...Icy Soda.hmmspeaking of... He picks up his large cup of soda and slurps the drink with great satisfaction. I could compose all night drinking this marvelous effervescent concoction. It is truly wonderfulI feel so energized. And the syrupy tang of this beverage is unlike anything I have tasted in my life!

He places the drink down on the organ, gives it a fond look, and starts to play again. Icy sodanothats not rightIcy COKE.Thick ShakeSundaesandApple Pies!...You deserve a break today at McDonaldddddddds.

He continues to hum while fine tuning his song, smiling with deep enjoyment. So lost in his compositionErik does not realize Kristin awoke from her faint and approaches him with a soft tread.

I remember there used to be a stock room.a full stock room with shelves across the vast linoleum floornow there are candles all aroundand an organand at the organ there was a man.

All of a sudden she stops- thinking of how her mouth tastes awful. Kristin grabs the supersize Coke on the organ, unmindful of Erik.

As she brings the straw to her lipshe rounds on her in fury, smacking the cup from her grasp and sending her spinning to the floor.

Dam you! You little thirsty Pandora! You little demon! Is this what you wanted to drink? Erik brandishes the now empty cup in her face, when he realizes that the contents have spilledhis anger increases.

Curse You! You little grabby Delilah! You little Camel! Now the cup is completely empty.

He wrenches his gaze from her horrified face and drops the cup to the floor. It falls with a soft bump of sound and rolls near Kristins fingers.

With a trembling hand Erik rubs his face, his breathing hard. Damn you.curse you...Stranger than you dreamt it can you even bear to know or bear to think of me, this arid gargoyle, who drinks water, but secretly, secretly yearns for soda, secretlysecretly.Colaaaaaaaa.

Kristin picks up the cup and searches in vain for a last drop of Cokethere is nothing to be had. She is near tearsErik drops to his knees, crawling away to sit on his haunches by his organ.

Thirst can turn to painyou learn too fast, to find the source of any moisture, thiscarbonated liquid, which seems harmless, but secretly contains additives.secretlysecretly..Oh, Colaaaaaaa

With pity and remorse, Kristin holds the cup out.

Her hands are shaking, Erik does not pay this any mind as he snatches it from her hand, turns away from her view again, and carefully, slowly refits the plastic lid over the top of the cup.

Getting to her feet, Kristin cleares her throat. Erikyou know, you can still get more soda out frontand a fresh straw.

He whips around. Truly? I have been nursing this one serving for three days. It is quite expensive!

Truly. We drink the soda all the time around hereMaude-Ann is a fiend for Mountain Dew.

So thats how she works all those doubles, Erik breathes in wonder.

Friends again? Kristin offers a tentative smile.

Indeed, you came close to getting punjabbedbut with this wonderful revelationyour life is spared! Come, we must return to the front of the restaurant

He hurries past her. Kristin lets out an uncertain laugh as she stares after him. ErGood joke, Erik.

Edited by Sebbied
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:funnyup::funnyup::funnyup::funnyup::funnyup:

This whole 'story' is hilarious, but I pulled an ovary when I read this line:

Turn your face away, from the garish toy display!

:fall::lmao:

:clap: Sebbied, brava brava bravisima!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is so funny. I really can't wait until we get to Point of No Return. I love that song, and I can't wait to what you do with it. I'm also looking forward to what you do with All I Ask of You and Masquerade.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Wow, I finally got back over to read the latest addtion.

Posted Image Sebbied, you just turned, my all time favorite scene into an absolutely wonderful, hysterical irony all about Colaaaaaaa! Posted Image I love what you've done.

Amiee, I love the idea of this done in claymation. That would be incredible! I was thinking it could be turned into a graphic novel, a modern day spoof on the original. Sebbied, this work is so original, and you really know the modern "McDonalds" pop culture. It just increase the quality of the story you are writing.

I hope you continue with this delightful farce and story. :clap:

Linda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well...I have been busy writing other stuff...not the McDonalds spoof....but I do have a new scene bubbling and brewing.... er...glad to make you Spew....lolol

thanks for the comments you guys!!!

I kept chuckling at myself (is that wrong?) over him saying "You little Camel" that was my fave.....

Edited by Sebbied
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...