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Gerard Butler GALS

9/3 - The tormented torso


Perrin
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Anyway, I love him . . . and knowing how he hates the paps enough to pretend to shoot them . . . Gotta say . . . maybe we shouldn't be promoting them.

Lisa

This is my very first post, so please understand if I do something wrong in the way I format it.....I'm still learning! :kisswink:

I just want to say that I'm very happy that someone mentioned the idea of not using any paps photos on Gerry's Gals since he obviously has quite a distaste for them. We've talked about wishing they would quit hounding him but they're taking the pics for us because we use them, share them, post them in our siggies, etc. Maybe we could offer Gerry some respect and quit posting these intrusive photographs on this site and leave it to the gossip sites. I know I would feel a bit better about myself to know that I don't have anything to do with Gerry's dismay regarding this issue. Anybody else?

Welcome to GALS, I love your site name (in fact part of it is going to be in my next tattoo, it's a phrase my local GALS use regularly).

As for razzi pictures - the site owner, Dr. Em, and our Mod Squad, have agreed that if Gerry (directly or through his people) ever asks that we not post razzi pictures, then we will stop. Until then, while he may not love them, we believe he understands that they are part of the life he has chosen for himself. Sometimes he jokes around with them, sometimes he is peshed off at them, and there are probably moments when he hates them too. But when you are in the entertainment business it is when they stop wanting your picture you should worry. Do I love the razzi? Nope - there are times I think they go too far, and anything that involves chasing a vehicle is definitely over a line I wouldn't want to see crossed. Not every razzi picture that is out there is posted here, when we see pictures we feel are overly intrusive we do not post them, even though we know they are still out there on the internet. Each member is welcome to make their own choices about looking at them or not, but the policy of posting pictures is one we have discussed at great length among the admins and mods of this site and for the time being we are comfortable with our policy.

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*PHEW* I was kinda sweating that out Susan...I know I'm bad but I have to have my Gerry fix as often as I can and I'm so bad that I'll even take the razzi pics! I think the admin. keeps a good tight rope on this subject and makes sure the right stuff gets through! All in all I will abide by whatever the gals wants to do!

:wave: Frannie

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Not every razzi picture that is out there is posted here, when we see pictures we feel are overly intrusive we do not post them, even though we know they are still out there on the internet. Each member is welcome to make their own choices about looking at them or not, but the policy of posting pictures is one we have discussed at great length among the admins and mods of this site and for the time being we are comfortable with our policy.

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That's true and I'm so glad.

I think I wrote my post in haste because I was so upset about him pretending to "shoot" them. That struck a chord with me and I posted my immediate reaction.

I also agree that there ARE some razzi pics that are not intrusive and I do look at them. I don't always save them, but I still look. I've always agreed that if and when Gerry says "I wish my fans wouldn't look at the paparazzi pics" THAT will be when I stop. For now, I'll still look and I do appreciate them (like the ones from The Punchbowl when he doesn't look quite as irritated).

Without them, we would have much longer dry spells between doses of Gerry Juice. They do serve a purpose.

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Besides, Gerry has said on more than one occasion how much he enjoys/loves this site and paps pictures have always been on GALS so I think while Gerry might not always like having his picture taken he knows us and wouldn't deprive us of our Gerry fix...lol
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As for whether there is sadness in his eyes - I was there in 2005 when he was autographing a drawing that a fan had done of him - a version of this picture:

[http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y101/ediSusan/th_BestLifeOnlineMag3-05.jpg

and when he saw it he said "She saw my soul, and it is sad." So it has been at least 3-1/2 years (and possibly most of his life) that he has seen himself as sad some or maybe even much of the time. Someone like that won't be "made happy" by another person...

Susan, Thank you. I've been debating on commenting on this as I've read through the pages of comments. Plus I am not sure that I will be able to articulate what I am feeling when I think about Gerry and this sadness. So please bear with me. I am also operating on VERY little sleep as I did not get home from TIFF until 3:30 this morning and I went and worked a full day today.

With that said.....I feel that this sadness that can been seen in his eyes goes back many years. I am willing to bet that the sadness started in his teens or even earlier. I think that "sadness" we see and sense is a permanent component of his soul. I am very close to tears right now....no, tears just fell....I am crying as I type this because I can so understand that sadness he bears in his soul because I do too. And I can feel the sadness and melanchony reflects in my eyes as well. I just don't have thousands of people analyizing my pictures and no one does interviews with me...so who cares?

Gerry is 2 and 1/2 yrs older than I. When I was learning more about him, I discovered he had a tough childhood and was consumed with a serious disease of alcoholism in which by his choice to LIVE and by the grace of God, he had conquered. To my amazement, those same years that he was battling for his life, so was I. Mine was not with alcoholism or drugs, but was with a phobia that was just as devastating and one that was literally killing me. I would not be here today to enjoy this man and his career and the women on this board had I not also chose to LIVE and by the grace of God conquer that which would have stolen my life from me.

I say that to say that when you go through dark places in your life and even tho you overcome them....they leave their marks and scars on your soul. Those are the marks/scars that shape our character, our hearts and our minds into who we are....THAT, I believe is the "sadness" that is everpresent in his eyes. I put sadness in quotation marks because I don't really interpret it as sadness. I don't necessarily believe it has something to do with what everyone here has been speculating about...there could be a little....I am open to that......but I read that sadness and I read mine....that he and I have come through the valley of the shadow of death.....and we know, that we know, that we know........that no one being physcial or spiritual can take away the knowledge and wisdom, that God has saw us through and has a plan for both of our lives.

To me.....that "sadness" evident in Gerry's eyes is the mark of a soul that has tasted death and rose victorious. The knowledge that there is so much more to life than the vain physical things. I truly wish he finds what he needs to find. Although a part of me wants to say he already knows what it is.

I was debating also if I wanted to share my experience with Gerry last night. Not that I felt I should exclude my fanmily, but it was just too special of an encounter that I wanted to keep to myself. I saw Gerry with my own two eyes yesterday. I was blessed with a long, hard look across a crowded room as Gerry stopped dead with what he was doing, stopped talking to the interviewer and just beheld me for several long moments. Admist the chaos that was going on around us....it was just him and me. Time stopped. The world faded. Neither of us spoke. I didn't wave or speak, just smiled and returned his intense gaze with one of my own. We just held each other's gazes as if our souls recognized each other. Our souls connected as one soul who faced death and conquered it to another soul who did the same. Even tho Gerry and I didn't officially meet and speak, I came away feeling fulfilled. It was a moment I will never forget.

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Gerard is a very deep and sensitive man IMO. Anyone that possesses such depth will feel the pain and sadness of the world. I would not be surprised if he has bouts of depression. I don't mean to sound down on the subject but I am very interested in this, having suffered with depression for many years myself. It comes and goes but when it comes, it consumes me. I am not saying that Gerard is the same but when I spoke to him on Monday, I felt it from him. His eyes were sad when he looked at me. I thought how beautiful he was and I wished I could talk for longer. I wished I could help him.

For those of you that disagree with any of this, that's OK but you didn't see what I saw. I love this man and I hope that he can live his life not free from these feelings, because they are part of who he is, but that he is able to perhaps find a special someone that he can open up to. I really think he needs it.

Edited by jackie62
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Jackie, I don't doubt it. When I see Gerry, I feel like I am looking at myself.....obviously not physically, but our personalities are so similar. He and I have a lot in common as well. I'll say that I too have my bouts with depression because I am such a convicted deep thinker and constant soul searcher. It's exhausting to say the least. I do not stay in that depression, however or else my life would be bleak to say the least, but I get moody too. I prefer to be my happy self. And to everyone around me, I am that happy go lucky, always bubbly, silly, goofy, funny woman that everyone laughs at and with, but inside I could be miserable.

I think I know what you mean about wishing to impress something on him. You did Monday when you wanted to help him. I wanted to also last night if I was lucky enough to actually say something to him. I had it all planned out in my head what I wanted to say in as few words as possible. However, as luck would have it, I didnt have a moment to chat with him, but only to share a deep acknowledging gaze. I hope what I was able to give him through my eyes was enough for the moment.

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Jackie, I don't doubt it. When I see Gerry, I feel like I am looking at myself.....obviously not physically, but our personalities are so similar. He and I have a lot in common as well. I'll say that I too have my bouts with depression because I am such a convicted deep thinker and constant soul searcher. It's exhausting to say the least. I do not stay in that depression, however or else my life would be bleak to say the least, but I get moody too. I prefer to be my happy self. And to everyone around me, I am that happy go lucky, always bubbly, silly, goofy, funny woman that everyone laughs at and with, but inside I could be miserable.

I think I know what you mean about wishing to impress something on him. You did Monday when you wanted to help him. I wanted to also last night if I was lucky enough to actually say something to him. I had it all planned out in my head what I wanted to say in as few words as possible. However, as luck would have it, I didnt have a moment to chat with him, but only to share a deep acknowledging gaze. I hope what I was able to give him through my eyes was enough for the moment.

I am quite sure it was- I completely relate to what you've been saying, and know that I find a sense of peace when an encounter like that happens to me- funny thing- about two and a half weeks ago, I stumbled upon a Gerry video with Craig Ferguson, while battling a case of the stomach flu, looking for something to make me laugh- saw that video, and instantly felt a connection, wanting to find out more about him (I'd seen him in 300, which really affected me, but kind of let it go- I know! can't imagine that now...) I came across a series of pics from a photo shoot and felt like I was looking into my own soul- I just sat there, staring, dumbfounded, amazed, shocked- I thought oh my God- I know you- and you break my heart! since then, I have joined this group, found out what I can about him, and am determined to meet him someday, just to tell him he's not alone- like you did. He looks so unhappy lately, almost on the verge of serious depression or something- like the light is fading, and I hate to see that- I hope he does his premieres then goes into hiding for a bit, to regroup- he's talked a lot about finding his soul, and I believe that was after India, which tells me he didn't really fully find what he was looking for (I know where he needs to look...) Anyway, from one kindred soul to another, I hear you, and am glad that both of you got to have that wonderful experience.

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GJ - thank you for sharing your experience with us. As someone who has been sending Gerry "cosmic hugs" I certainly and fully believe in a soul connection that can happen across a room as yours did. When you talk about appearing to be the funny woman your friends laugh with it reminded me of one of Gerry's older interviews in which he was talking about his years of hard drinking. He said something to the effect that during the times that were his darkest nobody else knew because the face he gave to the world was the guy that all his buddies would laugh with and have a great time with - he was his funniest outwardly when he was his darkest inwardly. So I think those are things that many people have in common.

I can't even imagine being the kind of person I believe Gerry to be - sensitive, intuitive, empathetic, creative, intelligent, soul-searching - and being in the business he is in which is so shallow, self-serving and insincere much of the time. From the very beginning of my fandom I've been struck by the dichotomy of the man. From his own words he has a tendancy to go to extremes and struggles with finding balance in his life. In the entertainment industry finding that must be harder than it is in many or most other professions. I feel for him, while I understand his melancholy nature I pray with all my heart that it doesn't slip farther away from melancholy and into real depression. It would hurt my heart to think that he lost hope in the world, in his life, and I am praying that he isn't at that point or approaching that point. He is an amazing man, he is not a perfect man and I wouldn't ever expect that of him or anyone. But he has already given us so much, and I know that probably every last one of us would give back to him if there was some way to do it - if there was some way to shine a light into the darker corners of his mind and help him realize that all that he has done already is far, far more than we ever expected of him and that all we wish for him is for his heart to feel joy, and comfort, and contentment and hopefulness.

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Wow, GJ! What an incredible experience. Better than any conversation or touch. I bet you could just drown in those eyes.

Thank you for sharing it with us . . .

And as someone who has suffered from severe depression her entire life, and managed to graduate from college, have a family, live life just like anyone else including Gerry, I've suspected for a year now that Gerry suffers from bouts of depression and I think that using the "Celtic Fog" as a euphemism is a small way of Gerry letting people know that he does. Or his own way of dealing with it and calling it something else, you know?

I don't know what it would take to bring that sparkle back into his eyes, but I hope he finds it whatever "it" is. And he may not . . . like Susan said earlier, he may find many other things in life to make him comfortable, melancholy, etc. but true happiness . . . maybe not. I think I'm like that, too. I swear nothing ever makes me happy - truly happy. My happy moments are fleeting and they don't last. I see that in Gerry. He was wonderful and funny and had a great time last night. Doesn't mean that's how he feels on the inside.

We've all always said that Gerry's beauty comes from the inside, out. Well, I believe so does the sadness or worry or whatever he's feeling right now.

I hope he DOESN'T go to Japan - sorry Keiko. I hope he goes home (NYC or Scotland) and just rests until it's time to work on LAC.

Edited by phoenixgirl
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Anyway, I love him . . . and knowing how he hates the paps enough to pretend to shoot them . . . Gotta say . . . maybe we shouldn't be promoting them.

Lisa

This is my very first post, so please understand if I do something wrong in the way I format it.....I'm still learning! :kisswink:

I just want to say that I'm very happy that someone mentioned the idea of not using any paps photos on Gerry's Gals since he obviously has quite a distaste for them. We've talked about wishing they would quit hounding him but they're taking the pics for us because we use them, share them, post them in our siggies, etc. Maybe we could offer Gerry some respect and quit posting these intrusive photographs on this site and leave it to the gossip sites. I know I would feel a bit better about myself to know that I don't have anything to do with Gerry's dismay regarding this issue. Anybody else?

Welcome! :) I love your name by the way... Mo Anam Cara / Soulmate! :)

Sláinte agus saol chugat! :wave:

Susan, thanks for the insight into Gerry's soul... "when he saw it he said "She saw my soul, and it is sad."" I hope he finds happiness someday. And I agree with you, you can't make another person become happy. Gerry will have to find happiness himself. I hope he finds it soon!

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I'm feeling so torn. On the one hand, I've known all along that Gerry harbors sadness in his soul, but on the other, I can't stand to think of him in this way. I have to believe he is doing okay and that this melancholy is just a part of who he is. It will come and go, and he will keep on with his life, finding those moments of happiness, even if they are rare.

When I was a child, I swear I was always sad. Even the adults around me would tell me to smile more, because I took everything so seriously. I still do, so I understand where Gerry lives. I just don't cover mine up with humor.

I posted a message to him yesterday.... I just HAD to say something.

Swannie

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Besides, Gerry has said on more than one occasion how much he enjoys/loves this site and paps pictures have always been on GALS so I think while Gerry might not always like having his picture taken he knows us and wouldn't deprive us of our Gerry fix...lol

I don't mean to be a thorn in anyone's side ~ especially since I'm new to the Gals, but I have to continue with the issue of the paps pics posted on here.

So many of us are talking about Gerry's seemingly sad state of late and I know that any one of us would do just about anything to help him if we had the opportunity cuz' we adore him. Obviously, none of us will probably ever have the chance to offer that assistance to him personally so in the meantime, what could we possibly do to make his life maybe more comfortable within our own restricted limitations? I just don't see how it is helping Gerry find happiness (like we really want him to find, right?) by letting ourselves make our need for our 'Gerry fix' more important than the quality of his personal life. (In fact, who's to say that the constant hounding the paps do of him don't contribute to that "sad state?") Any way we look at it, the fact remains that He doesn't like the paps (I mean, who would other than the 'famous people wannabes' which I really don't think he is) and no matter how many ways we try to justify our viewing of their photographs (i.e. he's famous and it comes with the territory and he knows that, most of the pics don't seem intrusive, etc.) the fact remains that Gerry is still bothered by the pesky varmits! Do you ever see him smiling at the camera? No. He usually has a scowl on his face. Yes, he may like this website devoted to him ~ why would he not? But that doesn't mean he likes our selfish attitudes toward him. I believe he is probably too nice of a lad to ask us directly not to view the paps pictures like some of us seem to need before we allow ourselves to do the very difficult sacrifice of stopping the posting of the pictures of him that he doesn't authorize.

C'mon, gals ~ who are we kidding? Some of us really don't care about the man like we pretend to. We tend to treat him as an object for our own amusement or fantasy fulfillment! He's a REAL person, for goodness' sake! Why can't we just give him a wee bit of respect and forget about our own needs in this one area? It's not like we'll never see him again! If you need to see these disrespectful pictures of him, you know that there are tons of celebrity gossip sites where you can find the pictures ~ they don't have to be posted here. Why can't we show Gerry Butler that we truly appreciate him by our responsible actions rather than just our words of adoration? It's really not so difficult to take a stand against the paps for the sake of our Gerry!

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Sorry Mo - but the policies of this site have been stated, if you don't like them then this just may not be a place you are comfortable. I explained our position, which is the position of the owner of the site and those of us who assist in moderating and administrating it. You can choose to dislike it or disagree with it, but being judgmental about it and criticizing us, assuming you know what Gerry thinks or feels and expecting us to change to accomodate your point of view is unreasonable. And YES there are paparazzi photos where he is laughing and joking with the razzi, including some of the recent photos from London. He isn't always scowling or angry-looking - and he could sometimes be angry over something unrelated to having his picture taken. Dr. Em is often in contact with either Gerry or his people and I have every confidence that if he was upset about the pictures being here he would not be afraid to let her know, and if that was the case then we would change our position.

There are other fan sites which elect not to allow paparazzi photos, and perhaps you'd feel more at home at one of those, just like there are other sites on the web which allow open flaming and disrespect of one another, which we do not allow here, and there are sites which allow the posting of more graphic content than we do. We can't be a one size fits all site and we don't try to be. There are over 5,700 members now, so I'm guessing that we must be doing something most of them like or they wouldn't have joined.

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Greetings...have a had a hardknock time of it lately and I am so doggone tired I just want to say woof! LOL but, I have been reading this thread with great interest and there has been much food for thought...so, thank you to all for your insightful and thoughtful comments and observations...there is so much to learn as we all share this journey together!

I have been feeling like I want to be able to DO something...something for Gerry, something to create peace in this world, something that will celebrate the connections we all share and the love that we are all wishing for him as he navigates his way through untested waters...and I truly believe that most everyone wants the best for Gerry and if wishes and hopes and prayers were wings, he would be in glorious *flight* this very moment!

The only thing I can really control is making my own choices about how I want to live my life...and to have the strength of my own convictions to help me to stand when crawling seems much more likely...so, my view and perception from the deep valley in which we dwell at this time in my life has taught me alot about the value of perseverence and the sweetness of every small victory...and I realize that my own pain and fragility can absolutely color everything I see and all I say and do, so I just want to let go of my need to DO something...and I will try to simply continue praying for Gerry and for each and every one of us...offering my prayers of thanksgiving for the gifts that Gerry has brought into my life: friendships worth more than the most precious of jewels and endless inspiration to *create* art and to tell my own story...gifts which just keep on giving, to say the least! And I confess, sometimes just thinking about how much I have been given still leaves me wanting to do something More...so, how can I best say thank you to Gerry for these and so many other priceless gifts?

The only way I know of in which I can say thank you is to continue to celebrate the Connections which I am blessed to share with my SiStars here, there and everywhere in *Gerryland*...and to speak blessings of Light and Love to the One who created Life...humbly asking that Gerry might truly find his own peace, his own particular path and that he will listen to his beautiful heart and remember where he came from. I honestly believe that he is a person of infinite complexity...and perhaps, it is this very complexity which speaks to each of us in words that feel meant for us alone...he is the mirror that shows us our own beauty, he has traveled the hard road and has the scars to show for it and yet, he does not retreat behind walls of bitterness or cynicism. These are the observations of my heart where Gerry is concerned.

Do I know this with any certainty? I have only my own spirit to discern the truth in all of the lessons life has shown to me...but I do Believe...that Gerry has been and continues to be someone who brings people together who would never have known one another otherwise. That alone is a gift beyond measure. I pray he will be shown compassion and tenderness in his life and that he will never live in regret...and I pray that he will embrace the shadows and the light inside of his own soul...knowing, as I do, that in the darkness, our shining highest self can be seen in all of it's glory. Gerry has shown us the deepest of melancholy in his portrayal of Phantom, the most exquisite tenderness communicated with a single glance as the Stranger...he has shown us victory and valor and the cherished ideals of freedom and *synergy* as King Leonidas and Beowulf...he has shown us his passion and joy for living through his interviews and in articles...and these glimpses of who he is, these briefest of glances into his life are such a gift and something he has willingly allowed us to see...I know with every fiber of my being that we are the better for having shared this earth with such a person...and I will be thankful for this and so much more, every single day of my life.

I am a deeply spiritual person...and my life has changed dramatically in the 3 plus years since we first went to Leno in January of 2005... I see so much which has happened as bearing the touch of angels and have witnessed the everyday miracles in so many moments of true grace. I have been blessed...and in the worst of times, I have had this place to come to, finding so many of the dearest friends I have ever had...and I am grateful, so very grateful to Gerry for these gifts, beyond what I could ever even express...

So, I was thinking about giving and about gratitude and about Gerry...just a few of the Ginormously Glittering words beginning with a G...and I found these quotes which speak even more poignantly about what I am wishing and praying for Gerry during this time of *searching* in his life.

Much love and the deepest of respect to you *all*...

xoxoxoxoCheri

If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.

George MacDonald

Scottish Author and Poet

Giver of gifts,

thank you.

When I was young

and knew nothing,

I asked for the sun.

You gave me a candle

which I put in my pocket,

and now...

a lifetime later,

I found the match.

John Squadra

From his book 'This Ecstasy'

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.

Cherie Carter-Scott

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.

Professor Dumbledore, from 'Harry Potter'

Faith goes

up the stairs

love has built

and looks out the window

which hope has opened...

Charles Spurgeon

We don't love others when we find them beautiful,

we find others beautiful when we love them.

Josei Toda

Japanese Educator and Peace Activist

The great teachings unanimously emphasize that all the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don't have to gain, develop, or attain them. We're like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don't need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we really are.

Bo Lozoff

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Awesome, Cheri. Thank you for sharing your loving and heartfelt thoughts about this subject that so many of us take to heart. You are the Queen of Quotes, my friend, and you always know exactly which quotes to share with any given situation.

All we can do is try to show the world how Gerry has affected our lives and our hearts, and perhaps in some small way his soul will fill up knowing the love he has spread throughout the world - even if it is just through cyber world.

Lisa

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A very interesting article! I think Gerry is realizing that his career has cost him some personal moments in his life. I can't imagine what it is like to bounce around from city to city. His life changed dramatically after 300. He is just a Glasgow,Scotland man. It is most likely hard to fathom all the attention. I think he doesn't want to be irresponsible like his father was about having children. His life is so crazy. Children take time & effort. He is smart to postpone a wife & children if he can't really commit. I hope he finds happiness with someone though. It is tough to live alone. You need someone to share your thoughts & feelings with at the end of the day. I wish Gerry everything good in his life.

Edited by laxmom
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wow...all those beautiful posts from everyone :wuv:

you guys should write professionally :) I try to type something down to express my feelings and only "weird" jumbles come out and people are confused with what Im trying to say even though I have a lot of things Im feeling that just dont come out right lol!

Im not gonna say anything because well first of all I dont know the man but just an opinion of mine, I dont think he is necessarily depressed like in the way the word is thrown around and misused so often, maybe he's just rather very introspective and moody and likes to get down into his mind with "darker" thoughts. I dont think thats such a bad thing, Im in touch with the darker aspects of my being and that can be a good thing, happy thoughts can only fill you up so much, I think the former thoughts I mentioned helps a person grow and maybe those feelings he has helps him to probe and understand his nature better.

I personally think what he is saying he feels and what he really may feel and think is a motive he keeps secret only to himself , he is a scorpio after all :kisswink: I dont hink he truly gives up his "self" to his interviewer just a little glimpse ...

Okay...Im babbling now, the heat and humidity here is frying my brains today lol :funnyface:

I know I didnt word that the way I was thinking it so I hope no one gets mad for me posting my opinion,

I really did enjoy reading all th nice thoughts everyone else posted :)

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Sorry Mo - but the policies of this site have been stated, if you don't like them then this just may not be a place you are comfortable. I explained our position, which is the position of the owner of the site and those of us who assist in moderating and administrating it.

I totally understand that this site has an owner and administrators, like any site must and I respect that.

You can choose to dislike it or disagree with it, but being judgmental about it and criticizing us, assuming you know what Gerry thinks or feels and expecting us to change to accomodate your point of view is unreasonable.

I apologize if I came off sounding judgemental and I certainly didn't mean to criticize. I was simply trying to express my opinion in a direct but respectful way. I'm so sorry if I was unable to convey that.

And YES there are paparazzi photos where he is laughing and joking with the razzi, including some of the recent photos from London. He isn't always scowling or angry-looking - and he could sometimes be angry over something unrelated to having his picture taken.

I'm sorry, but again, I have to say that this seems like self-rationalization.

Dr. Em is often in contact with either Gerry or his people and I have every confidence that if he was upset about the pictures being here he would not be afraid to let her know, and if that was the case then we would change our position.

Again, rationalization.

There are other fan sites which elect not to allow paparazzi photos, and perhaps you'd feel more at home at one of those, just like there are other sites on the web which allow open flaming and disrespect of one another, which we do not allow here,

I didn't realize I was open flaming and disrespecting anyone. Again, I truly apologize if I came off that way.

and there are sites which allow the posting of more graphic content than we do.

I'm aware of those sites and I don't condone their actions, either.

We can't be a one size fits all site and we don't try to be. There are over 5,700 members now, so I'm guessing that we must be doing something most of them like or they wouldn't have joined.

Yes, you are definitely doing a lot right! This site is extremely well-put together, IMHO, and it encourages valuable friendships. But does that mean one cannot state her opinion in a respectful way even if it goes against the status quo?

I'm a Gerry lover just like every member of this site, but we can't always be of the same opinion in every topic. Does that mean that we are not to express our differences, if we do so in a respectful manner? Please tell me that that isn't true because I truly would like to make friendships here with Gerry Gals but I can't always promise that my opinions will always match-up with the majority. If the members want paps photographs posted here, that is perfectly fine with me because I believe in a democratic society, but I just also want to feel free to say that I disagree with it, also as in a democratic society. Can I do that at Gals? Please let me know and, if not ~ I will go elsewhere, but not without regret in my heart.

With every respect,

MoAnamCara

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Besides, Gerry has said on more than one occasion how much he enjoys/loves this site and paps pictures have always been on GALS so I think while Gerry might not always like having his picture taken he knows us and wouldn't deprive us of our Gerry fix...lol

I don't mean to be a thorn in anyone's side ~ especially since I'm new to the Gals, but I have to continue with the issue of the paps pics posted on here.

So many of us are talking about Gerry's seemingly sad state of late and I know that any one of us would do just about anything to help him if we had the opportunity cuz' we adore him. Obviously, none of us will probably ever have the chance to offer that assistance to him personally so in the meantime, what could we possibly do to make his life maybe more comfortable within our own restricted limitations? I just don't see how it is helping Gerry find happiness (like we really want him to find, right?) by letting ourselves make our need for our 'Gerry fix' more important than the quality of his personal life. (In fact, who's to say that the constant hounding the paps do of him don't contribute to that "sad state?") Any way we look at it, the fact remains that He doesn't like the paps (I mean, who would other than the 'famous people wannabes' which I really don't think he is) and no matter how many ways we try to justify our viewing of their photographs (i.e. he's famous and it comes with the territory and he knows that, most of the pics don't seem intrusive, etc.) the fact remains that Gerry is still bothered by the pesky varmits! Do you ever see him smiling at the camera? No. He usually has a scowl on his face. Yes, he may like this website devoted to him ~ why would he not? But that doesn't mean he likes our selfish attitudes toward him. I believe he is probably too nice of a lad to ask us directly not to view the paps pictures like some of us seem to need before we allow ourselves to do the very difficult sacrifice of stopping the posting of the pictures of him that he doesn't authorize.

C'mon, gals ~ who are we kidding? Some of us really don't care about the man like we pretend to. We tend to treat him as an object for our own amusement or fantasy fulfillment! He's a REAL person, for goodness' sake! Why can't we just give him a wee bit of respect and forget about our own needs in this one area? It's not like we'll never see him again! If you need to see these disrespectful pictures of him, you know that there are tons of celebrity gossip sites where you can find the pictures ~ they don't have to be posted here. Why can't we show Gerry Butler that we truly appreciate him by our responsible actions rather than just our words of adoration? It's really not so difficult to take a stand against the paps for the sake of our Gerry!

Mo, I would never stick a camera in Gerry's face ... nor would I disturb him in his private life....that's all I can do...is control my own actions. He is not an object to me but a real person (I just thought I'd state that since you quoted me). I DO care about Gerry but I also feel that Gerry is a big boy and if he had a problem with GALS using these photos he would say so...as Susan said, he and his people are in contact with Dayna and until he asks that we not use them than I'm not going to be made to feel guilty about looking at them and using them to make sigs...But the moment Gerry says "Stop" I'll stop...rest assured.

By the way, welcome to GALS. We are a really fun group and as Cheri put it so eloquently we share a lot more than Gerry. I hope you do make friends because you couldn't find a bunch of more wonderful people than those here at GALS.

hugs,

Sue

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First, Mo, I wasn't saying you were flaming anyone, anymore than I was saying you posted graphic content that is in violation of this site's policies. I was merely offering an example of other types of sites which have rules or guidelines different from those of this site, just like there are sites which do not allow paparazzi pictures.

Since you didn't seem to see where you were disrespectful I will point out the wording that caused me to take issue as being a judgment of the decisions and opinions of others rather than just a statement of your opinion - which is disrespectful.

C'mon, gals ~ who are we kidding? Some of us really don't care about the man like we pretend to. We tend to treat him as an object for our own amusement or fantasy fulfillment! He's a REAL person, for goodness' sake! Why can't we just give him a wee bit of respect and forget about our own needs in this one area? It's not like we'll never see him again! If you need to see these disrespectful pictures of him, you know that there are tons of celebrity gossip sites where you can find the pictures ~ they don't have to be posted here. Why can't we show Gerry Butler that we truly appreciate him by our responsible actions rather than just our words of adoration? It's really not so difficult to take a stand against the paps for the sake of our Gerry!

This entire passage is calling out others for their opinion. On this site we ask people to state their OWN opinion without faulting the opinion or viewpoint of others. So the clear deliniation is that you are more than free to state your opinion that you dislike paparazzi pictures, you can even say that you wish they weren't on this site or any other site, because that is your opinion. But when opinion turns to judgment, stating that OTHER members of this site "really don't care abot the man like we pretend to" you have gone beyond stating your opinion and are making a presumptuous judgment call about the thoughts and actions of this site's owner, administrators and moderators as well as those members who are in agreement with the site policies. THAT is what is not acceptable here. No we don't HAVE to post paparazzi pictures, we don't HAVE to post any pictures, in fact we don't even HAVE to exist as a site, but we do, and those are the guidelines by which we choose to exist, and we are comfortable with that decision. You can choose not to like that decision, but telling us we don't care about Gerry as a person if our opinion differs from yours is not being respectful to those whose opinion is not the same as yours. We respect your opinion and your right to it, so you need to respect ours as well. It is a two-way street.

Going on to state that our guidelines are based on "rationalizations" maybe so, but so are yours. You have rationalized that Gerry would be upset, or feel disrespected, or unhappy that we allow some paparazzi pictures to be posted here. Unless you happen to be Gerry himself you are no more in tune to his opinions and feelings on the matter than I am - but I do trust that the owner of this site who does speak to him and his people from time to time has more valid insight to his feelings on the matter than the rest of us might.

I hope that clarified our position. If you still don't understand the difference, or how the guidelines are developed and applied on this site, please feel free to PM me for further discussion of the matter.

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I just wanted to note that we are speaking about the article about an interview - we did not hear and see the interview itself, only some parts of it, the rest is an interpretation of the reporter.

Also, the mood he was in (and could have been described well) might have been caused by various and multiple reasons. He might have still been tired and jet-lagged after the journey. Also, I believe he must have been nervous before the premiere - we know that some people in Britain just did not want to like the film (although finally some of them did). He was an important part of the team who made it, invested a lot into it - emotionally, health-wise, so, obviously, it is very important for him that the film is received well. All the "red-carpet events" in general must be also a very special thing - not only for fans, but also for the stars involved. I can imagine there might be something like stage fever present..... Actually, I would be very curious to know how he really feels before and during events like that.

I think it was not the best thing from a reporter to ask him about the future in an occassion like that. He must have been fully focused on the premiere and did not think much about what will be in 5 years (BTW, does anybody of you have a clear idea where you will be?). Of course, nobody will become younger, but there are so many possibilities for gifted middle-aged actors (especially when they look like GB), so I would not worry about that. Of course, the part of the public that still cannot see him otherwise than in a leather codpiece, and does not see anything more than his body, will have to realize that he is a brilliant and versatile actor and will play different roles in the future.

I hope that now he is in much better mood (I am just looking at pictures of him laughing at TIFF), and if he has any personal doubts or worries, that he solves them as soon as possible! He has already achieved such a tremendous success, and I believe there will be much more! So I wish him all the possible happiness - both in personal and in professional life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wave::wave::wave:

Edited by Donnie
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