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Iliessa

In The Arms Of Mortal Angels

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It seems appropriate on this day, Sept 11th, the 7th year anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center that my faith in humanity is restored. I've been having a hell of a time here as of late. I was recently diagnosed with stage 1 Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, went through a round of radiation treatments that left me feeling sick and tired most of the time. Were that not enough, I lost my job during this time, (Lovely frikkin budget cuts) which meant my health benefits went away.

A month into it, I wasn't too worried, I had some savings squirreled away, but as that month drifted into two and there was no relief in sight, I started to get nervous. It couldn't possibly get any worse, right? How wrong I was. Two months later, there's still no job in sight, I've progressed from stage 1 to stage 2 NHL (and I only wish that stood for Hockey) and am now facing Chemotherapy as the second round of radiation didn't work. Two weeks ago, I was down to my last 20 dollars and facing eviction. I'd put some treasured items up for sale and was hoping for a miracle.

At that same time another person was going through her own trauma and so I reached out to her in a simple gesture of a phone call, just to check on her well being. That woman, humbled me so much during that conversation that I quite literally felt like I was gut punched. All of this crap was happening to me, and she, bless her, actually compares me to our beloved Gerry. She actually said "I feel like Gerry's just called me."

I was blown away.

It lifted my spirits to have such a compliment bestowed on me, but as time wore on things were still getting darker outside. I have to be brutally honest, if it weren't for the precious few here that gave me a reason to get up in the morning, I wouldn't be here now. A little over 72 hours ago, biting a bullet was looking more and more like a feasable option. That may seem very selfish to some of you, however, if you've never been faced with that kind of despair, you won't ever understand. It comes from a very dark place when one looses their faith in a higher power and in humanity as a whole.

That same woman who bestowed the ultimate compliment on me, started her own campaign on my behalf unbeknownst to myself. She wrangled people she knew into praying for me, that the higher power would find a way to pull me out of the mire that my life had become. Those prayers were heard and answered in spades. In the last 24 hours, I now have food, sent to me by a little purple fairy, I have a job, only part time for the time being, but it's enough as beggars cannot be choosy and I've been saved from eviction by an angel personified. I am still facing down death in the form of disease that I have, but things don't look quite so bleak anymore. I'm starting to see that light peeking through that comes just before dawn.

What's that old addage, "Things look their darkest just before the dawn."

I'm living proof that the power of faith works, no matter what form it comes in. And so to Jodi, K.B., Tracy, Anna, Sue, Linda and Katie, I dedicate this to you. I'm humbled and proud at the same time that I can call you friends. A special place has been reserved for all of you and it is my sincerest wish that you all gain the blessings that you so richly deserve for being the people you are. Thank you to all the prayer warriors out there who sent something up for me. Words just won't cover what I feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8A2FaHhc3c&feature=user

"HOME"

Daughtery

"Home"

I'm staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love

And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,

The closer I get to you.

I've not always been the best man or friend for you.

But your love remains true.

And I don't know why.

You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all,

And then some you don't want.

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

I said these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

I'm going home.

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You're a rock, woman. Sent you a message at the other place.

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Iliessa....I can't put into words what I feel after reading this..... I can only pray.

It is lovely to know that Gerry's fans support and care for one another.

Swannie

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Cheyenne, I will continue to keep you in my prayers.I do want to tell you we have a very close friend that we play dice with him and his wife every Sunday night.He had Hodgkins Lymphoma a couple years ago and he had to go through Chemo. and today he is cancer free.So good things do happen and hopefully with lots of prayer and positive thoughts it will happen for you.We are all here pulling for you.

:hearts: Peggy

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Oh my goodness, and you have time and inspiration to make beautiful siggies for perfect strangers. I am humbled by your story, please add my prayers to the others offered on your behalf.

Hugs,

~Wendy

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I love you so, Cheyenne. What a beautiful song. God bless you always. We are still praying daily and will continue so. I tell my grandson don't forget to pray for Chey-Chey and Dan'l and he does. After reading this I have been enlightened even more so my prayers will be even more fervent. Also good ol Denlanky is remembering you as well in our nightly prayers. I asked my son and wife to remember you too. You are on the Memphis, TN LDS Temple prayer list.

Love,

Tracy :kisswink:

P.S. God be with the family of the victims of 9-11.

Edited by JustCallMeTracy

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Love you so much my beautifully courageous friend. Always and forever. :wuv:

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Cheyenne, I've been praying for you without knowing the details of your situation. I will continue to do so.

:hugs:

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Dear one...Cheyenne,

Words cannot express how I feel, either. You have touched my heart to the point of shedding tears!

I praise God for His blessings and that at your darkest hour, you were given the gift of awareness. God is there to lift you up, and He will never leave or forsake you. He sent His Son to earth, in human form, to tell us His Truth.

We are keeping up the prayers, Cheyenne, that God will continue to move in your life and make radical things happen! He is so very awesome at doing just that.

And Cheyenne... You Are A Hero!

There’s a hero, if you look inside your heart;

You don’t have to be afraid of what you are

There’s an answer if you reach into your soul;

And the sorrow that you know will melt away

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong

And you’ll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

It’s a long road when you face the world alone; No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

You can find love if you search within yourself; And the emptiness you felt will disappear

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow; But don’t let anyone tear them away, hey yeah

Hold on there will be tomorrow; In time, you’ll find the way

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong

And you’ll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

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Oh Cheyenne, you know how I feel about you my friend...and I will not stop praying until you have beat this cancer...you know that! I am so grateful to know you and to be considered one of your friends. I thank God that He has allowed us to help by lifting you up in prayers.... but my dear friend...you are in the arms of Someone so much more mightier than any mortal angels....always remember that!

Posted Image

I love you!

hugs,

Sue

p.s. Katie's choice of songs if just perfect for you...

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Sending love, prayers and good thoughts your way, Cheyenne.

((hugs))

Barbara

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