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The REAL Gerry (Part 2)


Susan~Sporran
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The original thread reached more than 300 posts so here is the new thread. I'm reposting Swannie's most recent update to the original thread, or you can go here to read the entire first thread: The REAL Gerry

Just wanted to add that a lot has transpired in Gerrydom since I first posted this topic. Some of Gerry's fans are withdrawing their support of him because because of recent events in his personal life, and some are disappointed in his current films and the direction of his career in general.

How do you feel?

Swannie

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We shouldn't expect Gerry to be perfect, or anything like the characters he plays in his movies. Gerry is just a man, with his flaws and weaknesses, as well as his qualities. We can't, as fans, hold him accountable for what he does in his private life because frankly, it's none of our business. We should only base our fandom on his talent and career and the pleasure he brings to us through the screen. Now that doesn't mean we can't appreciate what a fine male specimen Gerry is! :cunning::drool1:

In fact, I love Gerry for his talent, his intelligence, his spunk during interviews, his sense of humour and for his sharp tongue! :bleh: Anyways... :lol: All that being said, my fandom is not influenced by his private life. It would take something really bad to make me change my mind and appreciation of the man's career!

So Gerry, I'll never expect you to live like a monk, or to be like one of your characters! Be who you are and live your life to the fullest! I'll love you just the same babe! :kisswink:

Danielle

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I just logged on to the site this eve and saw this thread and wondered if something happened but I think maybe this is just a re-visit of our "fandom" for Gerry correct? I'm a fairly new fan here so I came in on seeing POTO almost four years late and with Gerry's career having progressed to this point, so most of what I know of him has been of late with some back "research". But I have to say, that like many others have said already, unless Gerry would do something or say something very bad to an innocent fan (and I say "Innocent" because some are not when around Gerry) then he would give me no reason to loose respect for him.

I have not really heard of or seen anyone stop being a fan because of anything of recent. We all tend to place the people we admire up on a pedestal and then to build them up in our minds. Then we blame that person when they don't live up to our ideals. That's not fair, especially to those who we don't know personally. We only hear and see things of Gerry through the media which can be a very unreliable source of information.

I am assuming that this discussion has come on due to the closing of "Angels" fansite. Quite frankly, if the site wasn't up to date on the latest info, etc., it probably started loosing membership. I'm not sure how it all works yet. But I will say this, it is important for members of any fansite to feel welcome and part of the group at large in order to keep coming back to the site. I'm not saying that that is what happened on that site, but that could have an affect on the stability of a fansite and has nothing to do with the celebrity whatsoever.

As far as Gerry is concerned, my love for Gerry is based on who he is as a person as well as an actor. I honestly feel sometimes like Gerry is someone I know who is an actor rather than someone I see as an actor first. I realize I saw him first as an actor and then came to know him afterwards through this fansite and others, but had I learned things about him as a person that I did not agree with or respect, I may not have been the fan that I have become nor been moved by him as I have been. In other words, had I met Gerry and knew him as a person, even if I did not know him as an actor, I could see him being my friend. Having said that, alot of what I admire of him has to do with his acting talents, so he's the entire package to me. Sure, he's got what some call "rough edges" but all of us do. Gerry's not phoney. I'll assure you other celebrities have their "rough edges" and they just hide it better. I'd rather know a person whom I've seen the worst side of them as well as the best and still be able to say that I loved and admired them then do so under false pretenses.

It is difficult for someone in the public eye. They live, as they say, in a "fishbowl" and everything they do or say is scrutinized, ESPECIALLY AS THEY BECOME MORE POPULAR. I see this happening with Gerry. I take it all very lightly. Gerry has shown me enough that I feel like I know who he is, rough sides and all, and it doesn' t worry me. Like one other person said here too, the deal breaker for me might be if he ever hurt an animal and I know that would never happen. Any person who takes on the responsibility of a pet with the busy lifestyle that Gerry has, really loves animals. I know this for a fact!

Gerry is just as he says, if you listen to him. He's a big puppy dog. He can get angry, irritable and naughty. He loves and respects his Mum and that's a huge thing. He's not afraid to show his emotions, laugh or cry. He wears what he wants to wear. What you see on the outside is what you get on the inside.

He's a single male almost forty so our stupid society places a stigma on him that he's either gay or a player. Why can't he just be a man who's smart enough to know that his busy lifestyle right now just wouldn't be conducive to a family life. There is nothing wrong with that. When that changes for him, I guarantee, we'll be the first to know about it.

Although Gerry is an exceptional man he is still a normal guy trying to live in a very abnormal life, at least in the sense of what we would deam normal. I was watching POTO today and I remember what attracted me to Gerry the first time I saw him. It was that ability he has to draw me in, reach down inside of me and make me feel the emotion that he is feeling. That's what moved me. The fact that he is extraordinarily handsome was secondary but not the attracting factor. I saw him in Tomb Raider first and thought, "now that's a handsome guy and quite an actor, where have they been keeping him?", and in Reign of Fire and thought, "what a cutie that guy is and he's a scene stealer" but when I tuned in to POTO and saw the distorted face, the first image I saw of him, with all the pain and emotion and love he was feeling, that's when I was hooked! Now that I've learned more about who he is as a real person, seen his sense of humor, his boyishness, his kindness, his quirkiness, I love him all the more! He'll have my admiration, my support, my trust, and my heart for as long as HE wants it. I'll know when he no longer does or cares. He'll let me know.

D

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The original thread was actually posted just after 300 premiered, and yes the GBAngel's shut-down does have something to do with me bumping my old thread.... but I've been seeing this trend of long time fans dropping him all over Gerry Fandom.... not just the Angel's site.

I suppose those who have been part of other fandoms would not find this unusual. Maybe it is normal after following a performer for a few years to move onto someone else. Perhaps when little is known about how a performer conducts their personal life, fans are more comfortable not knowing, but when that performer achieves more fame and becomes a target for the press and paps, some fans just don't like what they see.

To me, the problem is, what DO we see? We see images and footage that are only a few minutes out of an entire evening or event. We hear reports..... but how much is truth, and how much is fiction?

I like what someone else said; that we should base our opinions of Gerry not on tabloids, gossip or hearsay, but on the long time friendships Gerry has maintained through the years; on his reputation among his costars and production teams; and on the truths we DO know about him.

In any case, with the formation of Evil Twins, I have every hope that Gerry will continue to entertain and surprise us.

Swannie

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Ladies, while I can certainly appreciate the passionate response to the news about Angels, I really did not post this topic as a means for us to criticize Linda or her site. I'm really more interested in how you all feel about Gerry at this stage of your fandom?

Are you excited about his upcoming films? Are you glad he is being featured more in magazines, polls and entertainment news, or did you like it better when it was all about, "Gerard who?"

It has sure been a ride!

Swannie

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Ladies, while I can certainly appreciate the passionate response to the news about Angels, I really did not post this topic as a means for us to criticize Linda or her site. I'm really more interested in how you all feel about Gerry at this stage of your fandom?

Are you excited about his upcoming films? Are you glad he is being featured more in magazines, polls and entertainment news, or did you like it better when it was all about, "Gerard who?"

It has sure been a ride!

Swannie

Sorry, Swannie, didn't mean to belabor it. I just worry about Gerry, sometimes, seeing things like this happen and what he thinks or feels about it. Like I said, until he does or says something that causes me to look at him differently, and it would have to be something blatantly obvious and not some two minute vid or tabloid fodder, I'll be here for him. Thanks for the thread, Swannie.

D

Edited by GBPhanatic
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The thing is, Linda is a member here, and Angels has been a sister site to GALS for some time. It makes things a bit awkward to criticize her on a site which tries very hard to respect all its members. Believe me, I have a strong opinion about this, but I won't discuss it publicly.

I can't control how other fans react to the various twists and turns of Gerry's journey, I just know that for me, even when I'm put off by some of the things he says and does, my love and care for him are not diminished.... nor is my respect. I think quite a few of Gerry's fans feel this way. I hope he knows that.

Swannie

Edited by Swansong
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Warning Will Robinson...Danger Danger...woman venting her guts out ahead...(for those not old enough to get my reference...I am quoting from Lost in Space...which makes sense since I am really not even from this planet...LOL!)

I promise you, I am trying very hard to think, think, think before I write in response to this discussion. I am filled with pain in my deepest heart and soul...because the biggest hurt for me is Merciless Judgement...regardless of whether it is of eachother, of Gerry and or of ourselves. So, given that, who am I to judge even those who act in ways I find impossible to understand? I am trying very hard not to talk specifics here...so, if anyone decides to take offense at my ramblings...please know that I am praying very hard to understand what makes anyone do the things they do...even when I don't understand the choices that other people make, it is still not my place to beat the crap out of them for doing it. So, I am not casting blame here...I am simply trying to wrap my brain around so much of what I have seen over the past almost 4 years of reading the opinions of others (whether it is critics of every stripe in the media or "fans" on the message boards) about who Gerry is, what he has done or not done, etc.

I am just trying to understand what makes anyone, myself included, decide to put their cruel boots on and commence with the buttkicking. It seems that it is heartbreakingly easy to turn a critical eye toward our fellow human beings...and I am sure there have been many times when I have done it myself. Why do we do it? Why do we inspect and dissect and scrutinize with the most powerful of microscopes...when it could so easily be us in the next heartbeat...feeling the glare of that merciless spotlight turned in our direction. I am just so thankful, to the depths of my soul, that I do not have my entire life torn asunder for the viewing pleasure of the masses...it would be such misery to have to explain and defend and justify myself...and I would Never, ever, ever be able to stand up to such a test. I guess it is always my policy to give others the benefit of the doubt whenever possible...especially when I have so little in the way of hard, cold facts to base my opinions on. That goes for Gerry and everyone else as well.

I am just imagining what Life would be like if I was in Gerry's shoes (shudder...too often, it seems like my worst nightmare come to life!) ...and yes, I can certainly be Tawonda the freaking Warrior Goddess...so, I really do wonder how I would handle some of the "challenging" situations Gerry has found himself in...and I guess I am just glad not to have to find out. and I am sure glad no one else has to find out either. :tantrum: Far from perfect I am . All of a sudden, I sound like a bad version of Yoda. LOL.

Just wanted to add that a lot has transpired in Gerrydom since I first posted this topic. Some of Gerry's fans are withdrawing their support of him because because of recent events in his personal life, and some are disappointed in his current films and the direction of his career in general.

How do you feel?

Swannie

Sooooooo....

How do I feel? Usual Disclaimer...These are just my opinions, not absolute fact, please, I beg of you, don't kick my arse for saying how I feel. I am not asking anyone else to agree. I am not forcing you to even read what I have to say. I am just trying to reach out with my whole heart to try to understand what is happening in the world around me.

I feel Sad. There is so much Good which has come into my life "through" Gerry. So many blessings. So much Love. So many friendships. How does it feel when I hear the kinds of things some people are saying about him? It makes me feel like I want to wash away the muck and the mud slinging...it makes me wish that I could "unhear" and "unread" so much of what I have heard and read. It makes me get on my knees in prayer for Gerry and for all of us... there is just so much that is pure speculation and supposition based on gossip and by a few sound bytes in interviews...so much can be taken out of context...none of us can Know what has taken place unless we were right there to witness it...and until Gerry feels like baring his soul to us and telling us why he has said and done this or that, I refuse to automatically think the worst of him. I know that I have made mistakes in my life that I would never want to come back to haunt me...and no one knows what my rationale was for the choices I made except for me and the One who made me. I feel the same is true for Gerry. The same is true for Any of us. As much as it hurts me to see the choices others have made to withdraw their support from Gerry...I cannot know the intent of their heart and therefore, I cannot judge them for making that choice. I am simply saying that I wish that we could ALL allow our better natures to come forth whenever we decide to air our opinions in a public forum. I wish that we could Let all we do be done in Love...I wish that we could give one another (and Gerry) every chance and every ounce of our compassion and empathy...I wish that we could Stop being so hard on him, on ourselves and on one another. I realize that I am a contradictory mess here...and I keep circling back around to the fact that if I say how this kind of stuff makes me feel, I am casting my own judgement out into the fray.

Where do I stand? I stand with Gerry. I support him, I believe in him and I am more than willing to allow for whatever misbehavior and mistakes and boneheaded choices he might have made and will undoubtedly make in the future. Does this make me a starstruck eejit fangirl with not a brain in her head? Maybe in some people's estimation. But, I am only using the Golden Rule as my standard. Do unto others as you would have done to you. I can only pray that I will be shown mercy and forgiveness and tolerance and acceptance when I hurt the ones I love, speak without thinking, act like a crazy person, etc etc etc, ad nauseum. I just want to give others the same respect and common courtesy I hope to receive myself. Does this make sense, or am I the biggest and most deluded Pollyanna ever to walk the planet?

I guess you will just have to judge for yourselves.

In the meanwhile, I am praying for Grace and Mercy and Forgiveness to reign supreme in our beloved sphere of existance...May we speak blessings more often than harsh words, may we cherish our Connections...to Gerry, to one another and to this world we live in. May we remember that Time is precious, short and much too valuable to waste in anger and intolerance. May we accept one another, flaws and all...even when we fall flat on our faces, may we find many hands outstretched to help us back onto our feet again. May we share our love, our joy and our kindness as often as we possibly can...remembering that the hands of the Divine are our hands...we may bless or we may curse, it is always our choice.

I love you all...

xoxoxoxoCheri

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Swannie has perfectly stated the Admin position on the matter. Whether you personally agree or disagree with Linda's position she is entitled to her opinion and to do whatever she feels is best where her own site is concerned. We have officially welcomed any of the Angels who decide to join us here at GALS, and while it is OK to express frustration, or even anger, over the closing of the site, please refrain from personal attacks on Linda, or presumptions about her feelings or intentions. I've known Linda since shortly after I became a Gerry fan and she has always been a friendly and good person, and I don't believe that has changed just because her feelings about Gerry have changed.

P.S. 12/8 - thank you to the members who have gone back and edited or deleted posts in accordance with the above-state position.

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I apologize, too, Swannie, since it was my post that started this. But I still stand by what I said. And I also think it's good for fans to get some of this stuff off their chest. But you're right - this is the wrong thread for that . . .

I think my fandom has found it's balance in my life. It still weighs heavier on the side of "obsession", but not like it did even 6 months ago. Like any relationship, my fandom for Gerry has become part of my life. My respect for Gerry has only grown over the past year, and I am so very excited about his new movie ventures. I think starting Evil Twins was a very smart move on his part, and like he said at comic con, he still gets touched by scripts that he just has to do. I feel that LAC will be one of those projects for him. I still watch his movies over and over (watching 300 right now), and never tire of them. I still pay to see his movies over and over in the theaters, in the hopes that my measly $7.00 will do something.

I also think that Gerry is a bit disillusioned by Hollywood, and I don't remember where I read or heard him say something to that affect. I think he's also gotten a bit more cautious when it comes to fans and meeting people. And I think this is actually good for him and his safety. While it may make him a bit more unattainable to us right now, in the long run it's Gerry's safety and happiness that matters most.

I have matured a lot about all this. A few months ago it was all about meeting him, touching him, what I could get from him. Now, I'm in a place where I want to do for him what I can, and if that means backing off a bit at premieres and other events, then so be it.

I still fantasize and giggle and swoon over the man . . . don't get me wrong. But it has it's place. His pictures are still all over my house, and I am still woken up by his sweet voice every morning.

It's in perspective . . . but he's still my one and only. And that ain't changing any time soon!

Lisa

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I want to add.... the escalation in criticism of Gerry DOES upset me very much. It's gotten to the point where I just can't read comments left on JJ or other entertainment blogs, because they have gotten so ugly. When I first became a fan, I don't recall there being so much vitriol aimed at him. Maybe it's just that now he's achieved a certain level of success... so people enjoy knocking him down.

I honestly don't know how actors and performers deal with this kind of s*it. It would drive me MAD!!!! I suppose they just have to harden themselves to it all and focus on the work.

If I could get Gerry into a one on one conversation, I would love to ask him how he contends with the slander and gossip. For me, words have always been a more powerful weapon than physical violence. I crumble at an unkind remark. Sad but true.

Swannie

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Well, said, Cheri, Swannie, Susan, and Lisa. I, too, love Gerry unconditionally, and I am trying

very hard to take with a grain of salt, anything we read, see.hear, or are led to believe, unless it

comes from a source that I know is trustworthy. Gerry's not prefect, and I have never put him

on a pedistal. He is very special to me, and I always figure, if his Mum can "deal" with his fame

and the products thereof, so can I.

Hugs,

Judy

Edited to add: (Swannie and I were posting at the same time) that I also have become terribly

uncomfortable with all the criticism from so called "fans" or those who post on those sites just

to be negative. I really NEED to stop reading there, although I am easily tempted.

Edited by mommaduck
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Many of the bloggers are not fans. Their sole purpose is to post as ugly and disruptive comments as they can, hoping to get a rise out of supporters. Many of them are the same people that post viscous and false comments on general websites and go around posting on gossip sites just to stir up trouble.

I hate it too. It is false, it is nasty, and it is unfounded. I try not to read the comments because they do upset me but I know they represent a very small part of fandom in general and that these same kind of remarks plague many, many actors and actresses, not because they're true but because the bloggers get a kick out of muddying the waters and just being nasty.

In an odd way it is a testament to his popularity that they feel the need to strike at his fans by insulting him - for we are the real target, to upset us so we'll fight back (a losing proposition), and they can ridicule even more. So many fans had never supported an actor before that they were unaware this ugly underbelly of fandom existed - and with the anonymity of the internet it is even worse.

In time they'll pick another target to concentrate on, the gossips will target someone else fans are eager to read about and the bloggers will aim their venom at him. The thing to remember is that it isn't real. The tabloids and the razzis and the bloggers and the gossips have nothing to do with the the real man, with his real career, with his real relationships. It's a fantasy world of outsiders trying to feel important, trying to convince others that they "know" something they don't.

In my youth, Warren Beatty was the preeminent "bad boy", constantly gossiped about and, if there had been the internet then, the bloggers and gossips would probably have ripped him apart. But, he still had a fantastic career, the respect of friends and coworkers, professional aclaim and, when he hit his fifties, married, had kids and received an American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award from his peers. The gossips couldn't define his life or his achievements no matter what they said. They didn't know all of what he was but only a very narrow, distorted part of him.

Gerry's life didn't begin when we discovered him. He was living and being long before we knew he existed. His private life is his alone. He alone will deal with the advantages or disadvantages of any choices he makes. But he seems to be doing pretty good - a strong and growing career, a wide network of friends and business associates and a strong family base. Gossips and haters can't take that away from him. And they'll never take away his fans, either. His fanbase may shift or be larger or smaller depending on the work he does but it will never go away.

Cheri has the right idea. A little more Golden Rule and a lot more common sense and we'll all be better off.

:hearts:

Jane

Edited by Jeb
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In time they'll pick another target to concentrate on, the gossips will target someone else fans are eager to read about and the bloggers will aim their venom at him. The thing to remember is that it isn't real. The tabloids and the razzis and the bloggers and the gossips have nothing to do with the the real man, with his real career, with his real relationships. It's a fantasy world of outsiders trying to feel important, trying to convince others that they "know" something they don't.

:hearts:

Jane

Wow, Jane! I applaud your ENTIRE post, but especially the portion I quoted. I have NEVER seen it that way, but you offer a whole different perspective, and a wise woman you are.

Thank you so much!

Swannie

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This has been quite the interesting thread. I guess I arrived in Gerrywood quite late just as 300 was being released so whilst I knew of Gerry and his films I have said before because he was never on any tv talk shows, his films were not successful in the UK and for 3 of those years I lived in Germany he was not someone who took my immediate interest. You could say he wasn't even a blimp on my radar when it was the "good old days" so all I had to go by was alot of multi media to catch up on and just fell hook line and sinker for this guy from Glasgow - must have been bad cause Scottish guys don't really do it for me and I live in the darn country :funnyface: I do think I maybe sought comfort in my Gerry obsession more so than I would maybe have when my dad was diagnosed with his cancer 18 months ago - it was as much to do with this wonderful group of Gals as it was with this wonderful guy whose films I found a new appreciation for that I had maybe not seen before, his sparkling wit, personality, compassion and humility.

When I got into his fandom the "attainable Gerry" was a thing of the past so I had nothing to compare with or be upset about. It is a double edged sword while everybody had longed for Gerry to achieve this level of success as he was "the next best thing" so many times it was at a cost to his fans as he had to distance himself for his own safety - whether he wanted to or not and this did upset alot of fans. I had so longed for the kind of interaction so many had had just to know this guy was real and not a figment of my imagination. Like Lisa and so many whether we are single or not it bordered on obsession at times. I know my first Gerry moment at Nim's back in March he got down so far and was gutted that I did not get the face to face but on hindsight it was probably for the best. Fans put so much expectations on Gerry that it must be so hard for him. It is a expectation of hope nothing else - well not on my part anyway.

I think as long as fans appreciate his work his private life is his business and all he owes us is a good performance. I want him to be happy in his private life and be fulfilled and whilst the single person in me who is in love with this guy - well as much as you can be in love with someone you don't really know - doesn't really want him to settle down and be happy I know Miss Right aint going to be me so in my imagination he will always be available. As for other incidents involving his private life that have disappointed some more than others ie being known more for gossip foder than his career or the incident after RnR LA premiere - well nobody knows what the truth is apart from Gerry and it is not up to me to pass judgement. I am with the majority until he does something that is reprehensible and totally unforgivable then I am in it for the long haul. Maybe I am more broadminded than some but was he a totally untouched innocent lad who wouldn't say boo to a goose and has now gone all Hollywood and got to the point of no return that he is no longer recognisable as the Gerry of POTO time?????.

September was a turning point for me in my Gerry obsession - in that it levelled out on Sunday Sep 7 when I had the most unexpected of encounters at the Toronto Film festival. He was in front of me for a few secs at London Premiere which was a step up from Nim's but for some reason I wanted more - I guess I am not the only one who feels like that after their first face to face. I got to shake his hand at RnR Toronto Premiere and say a few words so my life was pretty much complete by that point and it was so lovely to see people like Sandra have their moment too - don't know if she has washed that hand yet?. I don't expect Gerry fully realises or understands that a few seconds of his time can make somebody's life - who would?. I know properly meeting Gerry and having nobody else around and getting his full attention was more than I could have ever dreamed of - I do wish I had maybe told him how much his work had meant to me especially since my dad was ill but I knew I would maybe get too upset and the last thing I wanted was him to think I was a bigger numpty than I already was :funnyup:

I know now that it will be a miracle if I ever get a similar one on one experience and it helps when I know I can't go to Gerry stuff and Yes I can still remember him in front of me and what was said as clear as day. Especially with what I am going through with my dad now when things have got too much I just take a look at the pic and it puts a smile on my face. Gerry may never understand that 5 mins of kindness from him as been a lifesaver this last week and for that I will be forever grateful.

Moira

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In an odd way it is a testament to his popularity that they feel the need to strike at his fans by insulting him - for we are the real target, to upset us so we'll fight back (a losing proposition), and they can ridicule even more. So many fans had never supported an actor before that they were unaware this ugly underbelly of fandom existed - and with the anonymity of the internet it is even worse.

Jane, you are the words of wisdom on this. I don't always read the comments, but I did yesterday and I found myself laughing hysterically. You're right . . . the comments are aimed at US, not Gerry as a person. When you look at it that way, the more we ignore them, they'll just banter between each other (as they do) and move on to someone who has fans that will fight with them.

Thanks for your great perspective!

Lisa

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