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Gerard Butler GALS
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AbandonThought

Darkness

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My mind wouldn't let my body sleep until I'd gotten this out. Make of it what you will.

Darkness

The darkness around me is complete. I lie still. I can’t see him there, but I can feel his presence. It should be comforting.

It isn’t.

I feel his arms around me now, and I feel his lips touch my temple. Softly, rigidly, artificially.

I hear his voice, whispering to me softly in the dark. He doesn’t say the things that I want to hear. He says only the things that I need to hear. And suddenly, his voice feels so far away.

The coldness of the moisture on my cheek is stark in the wake of the passing tear. It’s alone. No companions tonight.

The darkness weighs down on me, heavy in its emptiness. I struggle to define the shapes around me, but nothing wants to come clearly. I sense the objects. Some near, some distant, but none in sight.

I feel him beside me, but not his warmth. I hear his mutterings, but not his breathing. I lie still and concentrate, trying to hold onto the moment, trying to keep him with me longer.

A soft chuckling seems to reach me, followed by words with no weight. The musings seem eternal, as if surviving from some distant past. They have little meaning now, hold little sway for the future.

His voice though… soft, yet gruff.

The corners of my mouth lift, threatening a smile that never seems to form. I inhale sharply and clench my eyes shut, welcoming the swirling colors that replace the penetrating blackness in my vision.

No relief though, and the darkness holds tight.

He’s with me now, though so far away. I toss, then turn, finding no relief or rest. The memory of his touch is fading along with the ethereal echoes from his final words.

I reach out, to hold onto the moment, but my hand feels nothing but the emptiness next to me. Alone once again; the darkness my only companion.

Steph

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:unsure: Steph, we seem to be setting in the same boat. I am no stranger to the the thoughts and elusive dreams that surround you at night. I wrote something similar not but two days ago that I am posting tonight after I go home. I hope you were able to rest some. I've had but 4 maybe 5 hours sleep each night for way longer than is healthy I'm sure. ~Bex

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Yep... sometimes my mind just wants me to put words together in strange ways... And it won't rest until I do so. This one is way more abstract that I'm used to. It's kind of fun thinking that I'm the only one who will ever really know what it means... Of course, I may forget and then come up with some completely different explanation...

Luckily, my mind did shut off after I got it out. This time.

Steph

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Steph, all I can say is WOW! That is so beautiful.

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You know I love your writing, Steph. Thanks for bravely sharing this. So wonderful, and a feeling I share more often than I would like to admit.

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