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Gerard Butler GALS

Being Good Looking


GBPhanatic
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I read about an interview that Gerry gave a few years back where Gerry complained that he thought his looks held him back getting acting gigs, particularly in Britain. Of course, coming to Hollywood was a wise decision for him, especially when Hollywood puts so much emphasis on looks.

But Gerry also made a rather intersting remark during this interview. He said that good looking women are "f**ked up". He eluded to the reason being that they were too obsessed with looking good. Quite an insight for a man who many consider to be very superficial himself and shallow.

We all know better, of course, but I'm interested to know what anyone else thinks of his comments in light of the fact that Gerry seems to hang with and date nothing but gorgeous women. Could be that this is the reason he hasn't settled down yet. He's looking for that "inner beauty" and the outer package is just a bonus.

So what do YOU think? I thought this might be an interesting topic of discussion as regards his thoughts here, of course without getting personal about his love life or anything like that. Please refrain from comments about any past girlfriends, dates, etc.

My own personal thoughts are that most all men are attracted to the "outer package" first. It's how they're hard wired but many men will stick with a beautiful woman many times, even if she's a witch, just because she looks good. I think sometimes it's more important for some men to look good to other males or have that "trophy" woman then to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship. Not all men are like this, but many are. What do you think?

Delene

Edited by GBPhanatic
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I agree with your comment that people are initially attracted to the outside appearance and I think attraction is a huge part of a relationship.But I've also learned that sometimes,a guy/or girl can be absolutely freakin' hot but be not so hot on the inside.But you don't know that at first,so you hang out etc...and you find out their soul/spirit isn't as beautiful as their outside or they aren't very bright. Some people may stay with someone just because of their looks,but I think someone who is mature would just keep looking till they found someone who is beautiful on the inside.I don't know if that is what he's doing,searching for that person or not.I don't know his mind.

I can say that is what I'm doing.Trying to find a guy who is attractive,good hearted and has a brain.And when I ask "What is the last book you read" there is actually an answer to that question.

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Good question Dee! I have heard a comment something like that in one of his interviews...to the fact that either Cal. or Hollywood women were too false! You know....make-up, hair, breasts, The works! But I agree....he does tend to date beautiful women. I just think Gerry loves women of all sizes, looks and if she has that exotic dark hair and eyes that's a bonus! And they say Blonds have more fun!!!!! :lalala:

:wave: Frannie

P.S. course I KNOW he didn't mean out Cal. Gals...I think he was referring to movie kind! :p

Edited by ladyfran
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I agree with your comment that people are initially attracted to the outside appearance and I think attraction is a huge part of a relationship.But I've also learned that sometimes,a guy/or girl can be absolutely freakin' hot but be not so hot on the inside.But you don't know that at first,so you hang out etc...and you find out their soul/spirit isn't as beautiful as their outside or they aren't very bright. Some people may stay with someone just because of their looks,but I think someone who is mature would just keep looking till they found someone who is beautiful on the inside.I don't know if that is what he's doing,searching for that person or not.I don't know his mind.

I can say that is what I'm doing.Trying to find a guy who is attractive,good hearted and has a brain.And when I ask "What is the last book you read" there is actually an answer to that question.

Good points, Andrea. But I'm not so concerned about Gerry's own personal feelings as guys in general. I found his comment interesting and it made me think about how even good looking people view other good looking people sometimes.

I think too when you are in certain social circles, like he is, there is a concentration of "beautiful people" more so then the beautiful at heart. That could pose a huge problem when any celebrity is trying to find true love.

I also believe women go for the inner soul more then men do. They tend to love from the inside out rather than starting on the outside. I do think it is interesting to hear men talk of beautiful women they've been in relationships with, short term or longer, and it wasn't what they thought it would be.

Delene

Good question Dee! I have heard a comment something like that in one of his interviews...to the fact that either Cal. or Hollywood women were too false! You know....make-up, hair, breasts, The works! But I agree....he does tend to date beautiful women. I just think Gerry loves women of all sizes, looks and if she has that exotic dark hair and eyes that's a bonus! And they say Blonds have more fun!!!!! :lalala:

:wave: Frannie

P.S. course I KNOW he didn't mean out Cal. Gals...I think he was referring to movie kind! :p

Frannie, when I had dark, exotic hair, blonds DID have more fun, or at least it seemed so. Now that I'm a blonde, it's flip flopped it seems. Oh well! I've always been a day late and a dollar short!

Delene

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In the immortal words of Mike Chadway "No one falls in love with your personality at first sight"

Unfortunately, "first sight" is sometimes all you get.

Then I guess for some of us, we are SOL getting a date with the likes of Mike! How tragic that would be!

Delene

Edited by GBPhanatic
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My own personal opinion is that I think Gerry is living the dream of every man. Money, fame and beautiful women at the snap of a finger. How he may feel on the inside may not reflect his actions, and we can't begrudge him that. Sometimes I think "What would I do?" if I were in a particular situation that Gerry finds himself in. If I was my age, but was considered one of the most beautiful/hot women in the world, and I had hot young guys flirting with me all the time, do you think I would say, "Oh, no thanks. You're just too young and good looking." Hell no. :lol:

Everyone is attracted to looks first. EVERYONE.

Lisa

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I disagree, Lisa. I don't believe everyone is. I believe that some people have this magnetism and can actually exude a sensuality and not necessarily be what would be considered all that attractive or beautiful. Being beautiful is not going to guarantee a beautiful experience. I think it's all in the way a person carries themself, maybe with a quiet confidence that makes them sexy. But, to each their own.

Delene

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On the other hand, I can think of several people who are attractive from the point of view of the opposite sex ( and it's not only their looks, but they also have plenty of class and elegance ) ...and they don't necessarily see it - I mean , they don't behave like " they must be at my feet ". They are,for lack of a better word, normal.

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I think Gerry in a woman looking for more than just physical appearance to scream! It is often seen with beautiful women, but for me there was nothing serious. He has not mounted the head being in that environment, has remained as it always was, although I think that is adapted to their environment.

It 's always around the world never stands still in one place and I think this is the biggest problem, as he repeated several times. Once said that a woman had better find a girl because of his environment "normal" would not understand or fail to pay his long absences. I do not know whether she was speaking from personal experience, but people are not all alike and then you could always find a solution, if you want.

Both men and women are always affected first impression looking at physical, it is useless to deny it. Then there is knowing a person realizes if they get along or not. Unfortunately in this world, parents are the same, both are beautiful. And 'something taken for granted. Only a few, and you can count on the fingers of one hand, chose to stay with famous people.

However I think Gerry addition to fun (and I would do it myself in his place), still has not found the right woman for him.

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I disagree, Lisa. I don't believe everyone is. I believe that some people have this magnetism and can actually exude a sensuality and not necessarily be what would be considered all that attractive or beautiful. Being beautiful is not going to guarantee a beautiful experience. I think it's all in the way a person carries themself, maybe with a quiet confidence that makes them sexy. But, to each their own.

Delene

Don't get me wrong; there are plenty of men and women who are attractive and even sexy based on who they are and their magnetism. However, like Ren said, no one is attracted to that at first look. We're all still just carnal people and we look at good looking people. If we find out a good looking person isn't so on the inside, most of us will say good-bye. If Gerry wasn't the MAN he is, I would be long gone. I've gone out on dates with men I haven't been attracted to because I know that looks isn't everything and am currently looking for something other than looks in a mate.

Lisa

Edited by phoenixgirl
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Sorry but Gerry is a Hot guy and he is going to pick the Hot chick over the little short cubby chick with a huge heart and personality any day! JMO but I'm sticking to it! I'm not daying this is wrong....it's just usually the way it is with any hot looking and hot blooded male species!!

:wave: Frannie

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Sorry but Gerry is a Hot guy and he is going to pick the Hot chick over the little short cubby chick with a huge heart and personality any day! JMO but I'm sticking to it! I'm not daying this is wrong....it's just usually the way it is with any hot looking and hot blooded male species!!

:wave: Frannie

Don't be sorry for your opinion, my dear friend. And as a chubby chick with a huge heart and personality, who's to say it's wrong? That's how MOST extraordinarily good looking men are - it's just the nature of the beast. :D

Lisa

Edited by phoenixgirl
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Ladies, lets be careful about steering this topic to Gerry. We aren't discussing his choices or who HE dates. We are discussing men in general, based on a comment Gerry made. (If it were up to me, Gerry would chose short, funny women the same age as his mum, but that's just me.) Let's keep it real, OK?

Suzie

MOD Squad.

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Both men and women are always affected first impression looking at physical, it is useless to deny it.

I don't believe that for a minute! For my own personal feeling, there are times when I have seen a good looking, very attractive man and thought about nothing but trouble, especially if he was driving a fancy car! Same with women. I think we may SEE an attractive person and notice them more above the average person, just like we might notice someone who is unattractive. That doesn't mean we are attracted, just means we notice them because they may stand out in the crowd.

Don't get me wrong; there are plenty of men and women who are attractive and even sexy based on who they are and their magnetism. However, like Ren said, no one is attracted to that at first look. We're all still just carnal people and we look at good looking people. If we find out a good looking person isn't so on the inside, most of us will say good-bye. If Gerry wasn't the MAN he is, I would be long gone. I've gone out on dates with men I haven't been attracted to because I know that looks isn't everything and am currently looking for something other than looks in a mate.

However, we're talking about a gorgeous movie star who CAN and does. I personally don't think Gerry is looking for Ms. Right at the moment, and so he's having a great time playing. If he does meet that special lady while playing around, that would be so awesome! I just don't feel that I have any right to judge him for how he conducts his personal life. It's none of my business, and I can't say I wouldn't do the same exactly thing if I was in his blessed position. :)

Lisa

No, I believe Ren said Mike Chadway said that, a fictitional character in a movie playing the epidome of a consumate male chauvenist. Not all men are like that and believe it or not, it's been my experience that the males I've encountered that have that similar mindset, and there are a few, are the ones who are the less attractive overall in so many ways and have the most trouble with relationships and attracting the opposite sex. It would probably serve them better to rethink their opinions. That kind of an attitude can kill good looks anyday.

Also, I think people both male and female, draw to them what they seek. If a man or a woman is just looking the superficial beauty, then that's what they will attract. It makes sense really. If a man is constantly seeking out beautiful females and never takes the opportunity to see other less attractive women, then not only will he appear superficial and shallow and repel decent females, but then the only ones that will gravitate to him are the ones that are only beautiful on the surface. Hence many woman who seek out males that are famous, powerful and wealthy have an agenda. Example: Mel and Oksana. Perfect example.

I don't believe you can speak for everyone, Lisa, and say "no one" is attracted to or "everyone" is attracted to good looks. Everybody is different. Sure there are individuals who are seeking the more physical aspects of a person and they look for the more superficial then say someone who is turned on by other things. And also many people, particularly males, will seek out that "trophy" female to have on their arm, no matter how bad she might be, because he gets his turn on from how SHE makes him feel when others see him with her. THAT is a self esteem problem. No one should need another person to make them feel good about themselves.

Let me also reiterate here, this conversation is NOT talking about Gerry in particular. His comments spurred on my thoughts here. So lets not discuss Gerry and get that dialogue started up lest it turn in to a discussion that draws out topics that are taboo here.

But I think guys like him, particularly men of means and fame, have many not so choice women throwing themselves at their feet, all looks and no substance, in other words. I can imagine it would be very difficult to find someone.

Again, I don't believe for a moment that EVERYONE is attracted to outer beauty first. I realize I'm speaking on a fan site of a very attractive man, however, it took more then his good looks to convince me and it will take more then his good looks to keep me interested too.

So whatever you use as a marker for a potential date, mate or whatever, that's your choice. I just believe that sometimes, looks aren't everything and can get in the way. People can see the good looks and draw conclusions or not even take you serious when it comes to a career unless it's in a field where looks is the determining factor. Even some men will not approach an attractive woman because they stereotype her. I'm guilty of doing the same thing when I see a good looking guy. So it all depends on the person's individual choices.

We have a thread somewhere about, "what attracts you" or something to that affect. Again, it varies with each person.

Delene

Edited by GBPhanatic
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My apologies, Suzie. I was really not clear about it, but I went back and edited my posts.

Delene, I don't know what to tell you. If you know people that can look across a crowded room, in any room, see a fat chick or dude and say, "Huh, I think I might like to get to know that person" at first sight, please let me live in that world. I'm not basing this on my insecurities, but on personal experience by myself and every person I've ever met. So I guess instead of the word "everyone" I'll say "everyone I know". I would love the world to be as unmaterialistic as many people purport to be, but I just don't agree with you nor have I seen that world. What I HAVE seen is is people getting to know each other in social situations, like work, school, etc., and finding they are attracted to the inside of a person they wouldn't normally be attracted to on first sight. That's how it works in my reality.

As for people who are very good-looking and in a position to find someone they're attracted to AND a good person, of course it's possible. Not every gorgeous man or woman out there has the personality of a doorknob or are mean-spirited, etc. I can't relate to that life, though. I can't relate to the life that Gerry and other celebrities live. They live in a world where image and looks and youth are everything.

And you're right - no one should rely on others to make them feel good about themselves, but it doesn't mean it's not how most people are. I'm sorry that I'm not agreeing with you, and I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I've seen a different world I guess. I grew up and still live in a world where less attractive or overweight people are judged, weighed and measured based on looks. In fact, a few years ago my male cousin, who is very good looking, told me, "a guy would rather be with an ugly skinny girl than a fat girl with a pretty face", and a female friend said to me, "you need to lose weight if you want to be with the kind of men you're attracted to." So see, THAT'S MY world. It would be wonderful if life wasn't like that, and I'm sure there ARE people who don't do that, but I haven't met them yet.

I will tell you something I DO agree with you on ... you attract what you're looking for. I DO believe that. :)

Maybe I'm missing the point of this thread.

Lisa

Edited by phoenixgirl
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I don't believe you can speak for everyone, Lisa, and say "no one" is attracted to or "everyone" is attracted to good looks. Everybody is different.

Hey, we're all just expressing our opinions here. Lisa was just doing it in more powerful words. I don't think she was trying to "speak for everyone." I didn't find anything offensive about her post.

Funny thing about the line from TUT, "No one falls in love with your personality at first sight" was one of the only things that Mike Chadway said that I thought he was right on about. When you're talking about a glance across a crowded room, it IS looks that makes someone walk over and try to strike up a conversation with you. Now, there could be other factors that intervene, such as they walk by and hear you telling a funny joke, or they hear from a friend that you're really sweet and fun, and those would also be other reasons why someone might be interested in meeting someone else, but lots of times, we don't get that.

Why do you think that women spend so much money on makeup, clothes, and hair products? We're trying to package ourselves to seem attractive... to ourselves, to our friends, AND to potential mates. Because we know that whatever else we have to offer, looks play a big part in that first interaction.

Speaking for myself, I'm not a very social person. If I'm in a bar, and I see a man across the room who's attractive, but doesn't have that demeanor that he knows he's attractive, I might go up and talk to him. I will NOT make that effort for a man who's unattractive. I know being that blunt sounds horrible, but that's the truth. On the other hand, I'm also happy to hang out and get to know less attractive men if I've been in situations with them and know that they're nice, or fun, or we have good conversations.

Anyway, all this jabbering is just to say that looks are important. Like Ren said, "Unfortunately, "first sight" is sometimes all you get."

Steph

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Great thread and the age-old question.

My personal opinion is of course looks matter in some ways. But it doesn't mean it has to be the stereotypical looks.. I'm attracted to a quirky smile or kind eyes or a great laugh and nice hair. Not everyone is perfect, and who the hell would want to be.. that's way too much pressure, but everyone has something beautiful or attractive about them. We can't judge people by their looks the same way as we can't judge a person until we get to know the 'real' person.. Okay now I"m rambling.. Just sayin...even when we look at people and think they are perfect, I can guarantee you that they themselves think only of their non-perfections. ;)

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That's true about people being attracted to different things. Even though I said I would only go up to attractive men, I won't go up to SUPER attractive men. :lol: I'm intimidated by guys who I think are too hot for me, because I expect rejection in those situations. But, as I learned a few weeks ago, sometimes it works anyway! :kisswink: Still, I have to be at least a little attracted to them to want to cross a room and strike up a conversation.

Steph

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I agree with all your comments.... I don't think we are crossing any boundaries here either! If we are discussing looks verses intelligence, personality, charm, and a loving soul I just think beautiful people (and don't worry I am speaking of people in general) seem to stick to other beautiful people especially in Hollywood! I do have to name drop here for a min. I was so pleased when I read that Pierce Brosnan stuck by and his wife and said how much he loves her whether she put on a few lbs or not! She is still a gorgeous woman. I can tell you by my own experience that when I was thin and never without my make up and my hair done to perfection I had just about my pick of guys if I wanted them....BUT....as soon as I put on weight and started to lose interest in keeping up the facade I was stared at but not for the same reason... Oh famous last words were ...but you have such a pretty face!! YEAH! Thanks Buster!! Put the chubby girl with the pretty face next to the tall thin Blond beauty and guess who gets the hot guy or for that matter the not so hot guy! This is just what society has done to us...Glamour mags and the oh so skinny models ....and that size that I guess we all have to be ...a big fat 0! :bonk:

Here's an example....Since I lost all my weight because of my condition I've had a lot of my customers come up to me and telling me...Wow Fran, you're looking good! Or ..did you do something different with your hair...you look good woman! Stupid remarks like that! They all know I've been sick and maybe they are just trying to make me feel better but I really don't think so! Why didn't anyone mention how "good" I look when I was heavier? I still put my make-up on and did my hair... but I was a chubby chick with a "pretty" face! PHOOEY!

My DH thinks I'm pairfect and I kinda like me too! That's all that matters! So the moral of the story is good looking men will in fact go for good looking women! That is my opinion!

And BTW.... I luv all me GORGEOUS GALS!! So there! :funnyface:

:kiss: Frannie

Edited by ladyfran
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Hey, we're all just expressing our opinions here. Lisa was just doing it in more powerful words. I don't think she was trying to "speak for everyone." I didn't find anything offensive about her post

.

I don't think anyone said anything about a post being "offensive" here. With all due respect, Steph, using the words "all" and "everyone" does sound like speaking for everyone to me. Making one's opinions is just that, but they should be for yourself, not statements that include others who have not stated theirs. That's just MY opinion. I don't profess to say that everyone thinks a certain way or should. How would I know and I'm not that arrogant.

I don't buy in to Hollywood's ideas of beauty. I set my own standards and I would hope that others can feel free to set theirs as well without believing that ALL people think the same. As my granny use to say "they're just sheep following sheep".

Delene

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Hey, we're all just expressing our opinions here. Lisa was just doing it in more powerful words. I don't think she was trying to "speak for everyone." I didn't find anything offensive about her post

.

I don't think anyone said anything about a post being "offensive" here. With all due respect, Steph, using the words "all" and "everyone" does sound like speaking for everyone to me. Making one's opinions is just that, but they should be for yourself, not statements that include others who have not stated theirs. That's just MY opinion. I don't profess to say that everyone thinks a certain way or should. How would I know and I'm not that arrogant.

Delene

I'm a lot of things, but arrogant isn't one of them. Using the words "everyone" and "all" is just a generalization, nothing more! I thought this was a good conversation; not sure why it had to turn into a pissing contest. I'm done with it.

Edited by phoenixgirl
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Hey, we're all just expressing our opinions here. Lisa was just doing it in more powerful words. I don't think she was trying to "speak for everyone." I didn't find anything offensive about her post

.

I don't think anyone said anything about a post being "offensive" here. With all due respect, Steph, using the words "all" and "everyone" does sound like speaking for everyone to me. Making one's opinions is just that, but they should be for yourself, not statements that include others who have not stated theirs. That's just MY opinion. I don't profess to say that everyone thinks a certain way or should. How would I know and I'm not that arrogant.

I don't buy in to Hollywood's ideas of beauty. I set my own standards and I would hope that others can feel free to set theirs as well without believing that ALL people think the same. As my granny use to say "they're just sheep following sheep".

Delene

Forgive me, it just seems like the conversation was chugging along fine until your comment on Lisa's post. You seemed to jump right on her wording, and although you never said that her post was "offensive," you seemed to take offense to it, so I was just making an intuitive leap. Forgive me. Won't happen again.

Steph

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This topic was meant to be an honest look at our opinions about pretty people attracting pretty people. It has become a not so nice topic, so I'm closing it before it gets more snarky.

Please feel free to contact any of us on the MOD Squad with questions.

Suzie

MOD Squad

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