Gerry's Golden Girls

[Lady Elissa]

Another thread has been opened and we continue to walk down memory lane....

And Remember the Good Old Days~

Join us as we sit down at the kitchen table, do lunch, and talk about family and friends, gardens and grand kids or divulge a new recipe. Take us down memory lane with those who were near and dear who have gone but are not forgotten. Share your stories of the past and present, of love and laughter and your future hopes and dreams. Air out what ails ya, unload your burdens and release your spirit. You don't have to be a certain age, you can be young at heart or just an "old soul". Come on in, pull up a chair, grab a cup of whatever you like or a nice glass of your favorite wine and stay awhile.

(Thanks Barbara for starting this thread) 

 

Here is a link to the previous thread:

 

http://www.gerardbutlergals.com/forums/topic/40567-gerrys-golden-girls/?page=13

 

[Lady Elissa]

Hey, Golden Girls! In honor of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd post some instructions for cooking the turkey! It may not be foolproof, but you won't care!  

Any adult beverage of your choice  may be substituted for the wine. 

[The Phantom of the Opera]

Hahaha I definitely drink a lot of wine at thanksgiving! 

[Texas gramma]

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

 

[lugerry]

Right on Suzie,  You hit the nail squarely on its head.  Truth be said! 

[lugerry]

RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD MIND

 

I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.   A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"  I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.”  She didn't quite know how to respond.
  
I decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
 
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'
 
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it's for company!”
  
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.   I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.'  
    
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
   
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL..
 
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
 
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The'   and ' IRS ' together it spells   'Theirs...' 
 
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.  
 
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
  
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
 
Ah!  Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

 

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. 
  
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.

 

 

 

[irish]

 I really needed that today Lu.....

 

Thanks dear.

 

hugs,

Sue

[Texas gramma]

That is just too perfect.  Now i want to go to the mall and find a sunglasses store!  

 

Suzie

[becozy]

Stay safe and healthy during this trying time of Covid-19

 

a little 'old' humor!

 

 

 

[lugerry]

               A few laughs to lighten the day!

 

GETTING OLD:

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.  

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.  

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row  

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.  

Old age is coming at a really bad time.  

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.  

The biggest lie I tell myself  is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."  

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.  

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my  knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.  

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?  

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.  

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.  

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.  

Life is great.  

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.  

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

 

 

 

 

[irish]

Thanks Lu

[phanphorlife]

On 4/17/2020 at 6:56 AM, lugerry said:

               A few laughs to lighten the day!

 

GETTING OLD:

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.  

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.  

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row  

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.  

Old age is coming at a really bad time.  

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.  

The biggest lie I tell myself  is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."  

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.  

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my  knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.  

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?  

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.  

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.  

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne.  

Life is great.  

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.  

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

 

 

 

 

I love each and every one of these, Lu...still laughing!!