Guest morgaine Posted August 7, 2006 Report Share Posted August 7, 2006 Somewhere by Within Temptation Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign. Instead there´s only silence, can´t you hear my screams? Never stop hoping, need to know where you are, but one thing is for sure, you´re always in my heart. Chorus: I´ll find you somewhere. I´ll keep on trying until my dying day. I just need to know whatever has happend, the truth will free my soul. Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home. I want to embrace you and never let you go. Almost hope you´re in heaven so no one can hurt your soul. Living in agony cause I just do not know Where you are. Repeat Chorus Wherever you are, I won´t stop searching. Whatever it takes, I need to know. Repeat Chorus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 7, 2006 Report Share Posted August 7, 2006 Morgaine, that song exactly describes how I feel. Thank you for posting it. Gabriel, I hope you're listening.....we love you. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 (edited) Dear Gabriel, Do you know that I cry every day for you? I am so worried, and lonely. I need my friend. "cold water" by damien rice 'cold cold water surrounds me now and all i've got is your hand lord can you hear me now? or am i lost? no one's daughter allow me that and I can't let go of your hand lord, can you hear me now? or am i lost? don’t you know i love you and I always have hallelujah will you come with me? cold cold water surrounds me now and all i've got is your hand lord.. can you hear me? or am i lost?' My heart is squeezed tighter every single day.....what will happen tomorrow? None of us know, that's why we have to grab every single moment we have, and live it fully. God is so kind, He loves us and understands all our trials. He will help us through this....Gabriel. I miss you. I love you. Lori Edited August 9, 2006 by great butler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swansong Posted August 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I said I would not post anymore on this thread, but I do not feel well, and maybe that's why I feel so empty. When someone touches your life, the way you touched mine, Gabriel, they leave their imprint on your soul. But when they walk away.... they leave nothing but a hole. There is too much sadness in the world..... why create more? Your Bonnie Lass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Beautifully said, Bonnie Anne! Gabriel, in walking away, you have hurt us. I know you are hurt, but your friends, your TRUE friends could help. Gabriel, in walking away, you have allowed your hurt to multiply....in you and in us. Be a true friend. One who is willing to be there for us, as we are willing to be there for you....always. When we need you, where are you? When we cry out our loneliness, do you hear us? In the movies, a dramatic exit, riding into the sunset, always leaves me disappointed and bereft. Why can't the "hero" stick around? Be dependable and trusting and strong? Accept love and comfort and support? Life is not a movie. A dramatic exit just leaves a hole, as Swansong said. A wound in our souls. Take care friend. And I hope you find your way back to true friendship. We are here. We will always be available.....that's what friends are for....as you said before, my dear. I love you and miss you. Always. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I had horrible nightmares about you all night. I am worried. I am not saddened for myself anymore. Just worried that something is horribly wrong with you. The nightmares left me physicall ill this morning. I can't handle this anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) I see you lurking from the prayers for Gabriel thread to this one. Edited August 10, 2006 by Suz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morgaine Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Beautifully said, Bonnie Anne! Gabriel, in walking away, you have hurt us. I know you are hurt, but your friends, your TRUE friends could help. Gabriel, in walking away, you have allowed your hurt to multiply....in you and in us. Be a true friend. One who is willing to be there for us, as we are willing to be there for you....always. When we need you, where are you? When we cry out our loneliness, do you hear us? In the movies, a dramatic exit, riding into the sunset, always leaves me disappointed and bereft. Why can't the "hero" stick around? Be dependable and trusting and strong? Accept love and comfort and support? Life is not a movie. A dramatic exit just leaves a hole, as Swansong said. A wound in our souls. Take care friend. And I hope you find your way back to true friendship. We are here. We will always be available.....that's what friends are for....as you said before, my dear. I love you and miss you. Always. Lori Beautiful, Lori. I can't say it better with my own words. Gabriel, we are so afraid for you and worried. I hope, you'll find your way back. But something is for sure, we'll always be here, when ever you need our help. Your friend Anke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becozy Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I posted this in the prayer thread, too... for all you missing Gabriel and any of your other friends... “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” Hugs to you all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swansong Posted August 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel, You know, today I was caught up in some wonderful memories of my youth, thinking back on my first love, and how even though I have not seen him since I was in my early 20's.... he left his imprint on my soul. I can count on two hands the people who have done that in my life; people who somehow reach into you, and touch a part of you that is so precious and fragile, so as to be hidden from most of the world. The people I speak of, I knew face to face, in one way or another... special friends who crossed my path along the way. My best friend Ann, from high school; my boyfriend Brian; my voice teacher Mrs Rader; my friend Corey (who I have told you about) and my current best friend Melissa... to name a few. It amazes me that after all these years of being out of touch with most of these people, when I think of them, my soul still feels warm and happy, for having known them. You, my dear, are one of those people. Swan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel, something really HUGE is happening to me right now. Who am I going to talk to about this? You have been my listener....the one who focused in on my worries, and figured out exactly the POINT of it all. ***THEN, you explained it to ME!!!*** I need to talk to you. I'm not just saying this, Gabriel. You know I don't lie. This is good, and bad. This is the happiest I've ever been, this is the most scared I've ever been. This is wonderful, this is terrifying. *as you can tell, I am RATTLED! Oh, I need to tell you..... :yippee: It really is HAPPY. But how can I be happy about something, when I can't share it with my best friend? It doesn't seem right. It doesn't FEEL right. I need to tell my best friend. I need to tell YOU, Gabriel Michael. ( Always! ) What am I going to do? (It's really juicy, Gabriel.....really good stuff. You'll be happy to hear.... but I need some advice) I am torn in two....Ecstatic vs. Bereft. Help me, please..... :hug99: I need a hug.From you. Oh, Gabriel....come on. It's okay to come back, I promise. Come back to your friends.... Your friends understand. Your friends support YOU. Your friends need you. Your friends are always on your side.... You have our love, and our trust and our prayers. Love from my heart, to your beautiful heart, Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 (edited) Lori...I just talked to you on the phone today. What did I miss? Actually didn't I talk to you on the phone twice today? Edited August 12, 2006 by Suz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redroseblackribbon Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 (edited) Gabriel, I too had said to myself that I was not going to post on this thread again, but something just keeps pulling me back. As I've said before, I don't claim to be half as dear to you as some of these lucky ladies, but in a short few days, I thought we were becoming friends and then ...I was hit by a brick wall.You were gone. It broke my heart to think that something was troubling you so that you felt you must go when you would only have love and support surrounding you here. I have re focused on my whole reason for being here....Gerry, but you still are there in the back of my mind. Please know you touched my heart too. Take care....I miss you too. :cry: Amy :erikrose: Edited August 12, 2006 by redroseblackribbon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel I know in my heart that you are reading these posts. I like the others had said I would not post anymore in here. But I too am being drawn back. I left several messages on another site for you. The one where I told you I saw your profile several months back. Please go read them. If you don't feel comfortable responding to me here maybe you can talk to me there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Suz, I mentioned my situation to you....but I really need an Angel's point of view....if you know what I mean. Gabriel, please let someone know how you are....we are worried. Gabriel, please talk to me about this big news....I am about to explode! What is that lotto commercial....."Think Big.... Think Really BIG!" This is REALLY, REALLY BIG!!!!! *jumping up and down, holding my breath and crossing my fingers.....* Please please please please.....pretty please! Seriously, I gotta talk to my angel.... to help me center. You don't realize how much you help, do you? I need you. With love always, Your friend, Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 There once was a day awhile back when I was at my lowest. I felt there was no need to go on. You brought me out of that dark hole. If you hadn't been here for me who knows what would have happened. You have made the last 8 months of my life so wonderful. Friends like you are rare gems. You are the best person I know. You are a light in this world of darkness. Take the time you need to sort out your life. I will be here when you are done. I will ALWAYS be here. I wish you understood how much you are needed...how much you are loved by so many. To the world you are one person...to us you are the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 my dear one..... oh, Gabriel! Please, I need you right now.... Don't remain in the shadows. I need my best friend. The one who I can tell everything to.... the one who understands, and forgives me. Please, come back to me. Love forever, remember, you said you would always be my friend.... Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swansong Posted August 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 (edited) Gabriel, I've been trying to work on my book tonight, but I'm so achy and tired, I just cannot concentrate. So instead, I've been reading all the archived PMs you have sent me since we first became friends in January. Do you realize how many PM's you sent? It comforts me while you're away, to read your messages to me. Especially the ones you sent when Nathan was so very ill. I won't paste it here, but the one that touched me the most, is when you invited me to share my worst fears about Nathan with you. You told me I could say anything, and it would be okay. At the time, there was not another person in my life I could safely say those things to. I could not tell my husband those fears, because he was already burdened with his own, and my other friends, well they just did not want to hear those *negative and defeatist* words from me. But you said, "Anything" And so I poured my heart out. I told you my very worst fears about losing my son, and about him never having a normal life. I did not mince words, but I was painfully honest in speaking the fears that were tearing me apart. You were there for me. You did not lecture me, or tell me I should not think such things. You let me be as dark as I was, as hopeless and scared as I was. You let me express my weakest, most vulnerable self. And then you held me up.... your words lifted me from the pit of despair. Do you know that you have a gift to heal, just with your words? Yes you do. Just with your words, you calmed me, and then after that, I was able to pray again, and turn to God for strength, when I realized just how weak I really am. That, and so many of your PMs are treasures to me... and now that you are gone, I fear they are all I have left of you. i wish I had saved them all.. but I did not, because I never... I never thought you would go away. I never thought I would lose you. I wonder... did you save any of my PMs to you? Because I tried so hard to tell you how special you are. Honey, I know you get so down on yourself, and that you struggle so hard in this life.... so do most of us. But as I have told you a hundred times or more.... you are a gift, you are a joy. I don't know where you are right now, or what you are doing... I only know that I care for you, and want so much for you to know how much you are loved and missed. We really are weak creatures Gabriel..... but our weakness and imperfections make us as beautiful as Gerry's Phantom when he sang to the monkey music box. Have you ever seen a more beautiful face? Think of me fondly, SKA Your Bonnie Lass Edited August 14, 2006 by Swansong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Oh, Gabriel! Bonnie Anne said it perfectly. You let me be my self. As low or as high, as miserable or as joyful. Sometimes you would be harsh about yourself....and I tried to tell you how you should be as merciful to yourself, as you are to me. Remember the soldier I told you about???? REMEMBER? That was one of the lowest points in my life.... Yet you lifted me up. Your words consoled me. Comforted me. When I could not forgive myself, you forgave me. Gabriel, give yourself that gift of compassion, as you have given me so many times. You are one of God's special souls, I believe that. One who can help others, comfort them with your beautiful words. Hug them with your love and concern. We have all been hurt here, Gabriel. But NOT by you. We are fellow sufferers in this tragedy, playing out in our lives. If I hurt, it is NOT because of you, by any means! For heaven's sake, Gabriel! You are the only one who can truly comfort me in this.....as I can console you, since I understand......I have been there, too. This has been such a shock to me. I never believed this kind of thing could actually happen. I tend to believe the best of everyone. I am naive about some things.... but you have proven what kind of true friend you are... and I have faith in you. I have faith that God will guide you back to your true friends. Please trust me, Gabriel. All I have ever wanted is to be as much help to you, as you have been to me. You literally saved my life back in December. I can never repay you for that. I am sending you a hug, and my love..... please take my friendship, accept my love. Your friend forever! With all my love, Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel.... my heart is breaking today....I am moving my daughter, my sunshine, to her new home in her dormitory.... 90 miles away from me. My sunshine, through the dimness of my days....the ray of hope in my over-cast skies. Pray for me today dear....and in the days to come, when I miss her so terribly. I pray for you dear....for you to bring back your sunshine to me, too. Let me be your sunshine! Let's help each other, okay? Love forever! Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morgaine Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel, we were just become friends and we had a short time to get to know each other. There’s still so much, I want to tell you. You know, in this short time you touched my soul so deeply...I told you. I never knew a person like you. So the only thing, I can say is Gabriel, I miss you, too!!! You know that. And if you need me, you can be sure, I’ll be here for you, ALWAYS. Please, come back to your friends, who love you. Let us help and comfort you. What ever has happened, let us try to ease your pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morgaine Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel, I do not really know, what has happened to you. I'm posting this for you. Read the lyrics, may be they'll help you, to be strong and to find your way back. Pale by Within Temptation The world seems not the same, though I know nothing has changed. It´s all my state of mind, I can´t leave it all behind. I have stand up to be stronger. Chorus: I have try to break free From the thoughts in my mind. Use the time that I have, I can´t say goodbye, have to make it right. Have to fight, cause I know In the end it´s worthwhile, that the pain that I feel slowly fades away. It will be alright. I know, should realise Time is precious, it is worthwhile. Despite how I feel inside, have to trust it will be alright. have to stand up to be stronger. Repeat Chorus Oh, this night is too long. I have to strength to go on No more pain, I´m floating away. Through the mist I see the face Of an angel, who calls my name. I remember you´re the reason I have to stay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 Gabriel I just sent you something. You know where to look to find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
great butler Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 (edited) Gabriel, I do not really know, what has happened to you. I'm posting this for you. Read the lyrics, may be they'll help you, to be strong and to find your way back. Pale by Within Temptation The world seems not the same, though I know nothing has changed. It´s all my state of mind, I can´t leave it all behind. I have stand up to be stronger. Chorus: I have try to break free From the thoughts in my mind. Use the time that I have, I can´t say goodbye, have to make it right. Have to fight, cause I know In the end it´s worthwhile, that the pain that I feel slowly fades away. It will be alright. I know, should realise Time is precious, it is worthwhile. Despite how I feel inside, have to trust it will be alright. have to stand up to be stronger. Repeat Chorus Oh, this night is too long. I have to strength to go on No more pain, I´m floating away. Through the mist I see the face Of an angel, who calls my name. I remember you´re the reason I have to stay Anke, that is beautiful....and it does say all the right things....I thought just to highlight the really perfect parts....and I almost highlighted the whole thing!!! It is so uplifting and strong. Thank you for posting those.... Gabriel, my dear friend....you are the reason I have to stay. You are the reason that I am ABLE to stay....you have given me hope and strength and a belief in myself. I hope I can repay you somehow..... Take care, dear....and "Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said 'good-bye'. Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try...." I still haven't said "Good-bye" Gabriel.....I never will....until we meet again, my dear. You are a sweet, loving person, and I am honored to call you my friend..... Love from my heart, Lori Edited August 12, 2006 by great butler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suz Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 You Save Me (Kenny Chesney) Every now and then I get a little lost The strings all get tangled The wires all get crossed Every now and then I’m right upon the edge Danglin’ my toes out over the ledge I just thank God you’re here, ‘cause When I’m a bullet shot out of a gun When I’m a firecracker comin’ undone When I’m a fugitive ready to run All wide-eyed and crazy No matter where my reckless soul takes me Baby you save me It’s hard lovin’ a person That’s got a gypsy soul I don’t know how you do it I’m not sure how you know The perfect thing to say To save me from myself You’re the angel that belives in me Like no one else And I thank God you do, ‘cause When I’m a bullet shot out of a gun When I’m a firecracker comin’ undone When I’m a fugitive ready to run All wide-eyed and crazy No matter where my reckless soul takes me Baby you save me I know I don’t tell you nearly enough I couldn’t live one day without your love When I’m a ship tossed around on the waves Up on a high wire that’s ready to break When I’ve had just about all I can take Baby, you, Baby you save me I heard this morning in the car and I was overcome with emotion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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