Jump to content
Gerard Butler GALS

Recommended Posts

Swansong's dream Come True: Part two:

After I finished my song, I just stood there on the dance floor, looking at the many faces radiating love back to me.

To me.

I saw tears and smiles, joy mingled with the sadness of the song, and the beautiful, uplifting music Nathan composed for me to sing with. I saw human emotions reflected in the faces of people who truly loved me, and I was stunned by the warm, giving and emotional response. By then, my legs were shaking so badly, and when Bethy came up and threw her arms around me, I was so thankful for someone to hold onto. I could hear her weeping, and could feel her body trembling like mine, and I knew who she was thinking of, and that The Angel's Song had brought forth images of her mother. I just held her, and we shared a moment of knowing. She knew what it was like to lose her mother, and I knew what it was like to almost lose my son, and to see him suffer beyond my ability to endure.

And then the gorgeous Dr Em made her way into my arms and hugged me tightly, and then others.... and then finally someone led me back to my table, where I sunk down to my chair, tears streaming down my face.

Not once during my performance did it ever dawn on me that Gerry would actually see that video.... but all at once, that knowledge seeped into my brain.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting with both new and old friends, and even though I felt ill, I jumped and jived, bumped and ground my hips with the rest of them until midnight!

By the time I headed up to my room, I was wringing wet, giddy, exhausted and deleriously happy! I was so keyed up that I could not sleep for the second night in a row. I tossed and turned through the night, reliving each moment, thankful that I had been given such a gift.... and an experience I would never forget.

Saturday morning I woke feeling worse, and knowing that I desperately needed sleep. I stayed awake at the Beowulf showing, enjoyed the movie, but felt removed from the experience. Returning to the hotel later that morning, again I tried to sleep but could only manage a few minutes before waking again with chills and fever. I even contemplated skipping the Ball altogether... but I had brought so much stuff for my costuming, and was determined not to miss the fun. At that time, I had absolutely no thought that Gerry might show up, and even though rumors were flying about, I was convinced that if he had planned to attend, he would not have sent Tonya and Jeremy. So, feeling less than energetic... I went through the pains of dressing in my goddess costume, and headed downstairs.

I was stunned when I walked into the Ballroom and saw the gorgeous, lush Phantom/Dracula themed decor. It was truly breathtaking. Again, I was taken aback by how sweet all the ladies were to me. They complimented my costume, told me I was beautiful... and made me feel so special. It was a magical night, and when Tonya was introduced, she merely added to the glamour and beauty of the evening. She was so very charming and sweet, and spoke to us about the man we all adored as we answered back with applause, cheers, and in some cases a collective "awww."

What a treat to have Gerry's PA tell us about his leather jackets, his kind gestures to strangers and his new puppy! Tonya was class all the way.... and her attendance at tha Ball would have been enough.

(This next part is a bit foggy for me, but I will try to relate these events to the best of my memory).

Soon after the meal was served, Dayna took the mic and asked everyone to quite down. I don't recall her exact words, but she announced that the Butler Awards would now be given. She explained that the talent competition was tough to judge, as all the performers were so talented, but then went on to explain that the judges had decided on one particular performer and then she said, "Swansong.... will you please come up to the stage?" (or something like that.)

By that time, I was feeling very woosey, and the first thing I did as she invited me to come up onto the stage, was to get my doggone foot tangled up in my veil!!! I felt like such an idiot, while in front of the whole group, I kicked and tugged, trying to detangle myself! Finally, I got the damn thing free and stood up just as someone came up beside me, and it was Tonya. She put her arm around me, and I started to feel quite faint as Dayna gave me this very strange look. Some things were said that I cannot remember.... but Dayna said something about me composing my own song, and that I truly deserved The Butler Award. Then as I began to regain my dignity she whispered, "Bonnie (or was it Swan?) Hold onto your hat!"

Well I just looked at her and stared as they were talking about my award and that it was too heavy to carry. For a split second I hoped to hell it wasn't some damn giant trophy I would have to lug onto the plane, but Danya's expression said something else. By then, I was beginning to realize what was happening, but could not believe it!! I looked at her and said, "No way!!!.... are you serious???" and she shook her head yes with a big ol' smile. I felt my breath catch, and my knees went to jelly as I grabbed hold of whoever was standing next to me.

Then Tonya said something about her special friend carrying the award to me, and I felt myself go blank.... my heart truly stopped when I turned my head to the left and saw.... none-other than Gerard James Butler enter the room to shouts and cheers and flashbulbs cracking through the candlelit room! At that moment, I swear to you, I turned to Dayna (or was it Tonya?) several times and mouthed the words, "Is this real?" "Is this really happening?"

Posted Image

He made a joke about getting to the point in his career where he became someone's award, and everyone laughed!

(Geez, even now as I get to this next part, my heart is pounding madly!!!)

Suddenly everything began to swirl around me, and before I knew it, Gerry was standing right beside me in all his glory... tall, beautiful, tan and more handsome than any of his photos convey. I turned to look into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life, and those eyes were looking right into mine. Yes I noticed other things about the man; his gorgeous smile, beautiful thick wavy hair, the necklace he wore, his shirt cuffs unbuttoned and the holey jeans.... but his eyes held me captive as he spoke words quietly to me that I mostly cannot recall. During that short exchange, Gerry ceased to be a sex symbol to me, or even just an actor I greatly admired. He became a real living and breathing human being whose heart I had touched, and whose eyes I had looked into for real. Just an ordinary man.... who is most extraordinary. He let me know that he had seen the video of my song, and said sweet affirming words that I will forever hold in my heart. (well at least I *think* he said something about hearing the song???.... but maybe not!)

As for me.... I maybe said two words to him, and the rest is a all a blur. As I stood there locked in that glittering turquoise gaze, he handed me a little silver box, said something else I can't remember, and then with a smile that could melt glaciers he said, "Now come and get your hug."

Posted Image

I remember his arms reaching out to me, and I just allowed him to hold me, not wanting to be too familiar with him, or too emotional. But he held me close as I felt myself trembling, and even though there is a photo of him kissing my cheek... I do not remember that. I do not know what he smelled like, I only felt those arms around me, and for those few moments.... I was in another world altogether.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Gerard Butler.... my Phantom; the man who inspired my forgotten dreams, my writing, my singing... and the man who has helped me heal on the inside.... was holding me. Over a year ago, somehow.... he reached through that screen and touched me in a way that has shaken me to my core, and as I have come to know him as a person, his reach into my life has only grown and deepened. I sensed that he really cared.... that he really DOES care.

I'm not sure how, but we ended our hug, he said a few more words I can't recall, and then someone helped me down the stairs. By this time I was crying, my glasses were fogged up and I could not see. Once I was down on the main floor, he took the mic and began to speak to the ladies as if we were his friends, just being himself; cheeky, funny, sweet and so affirming to his fans from all the site who were represented there.

Mel recieved her award, photos were taken, and I just stood there immersed in a sea of women whose hearts were melting for the man.

I am afraid I missed most of what he said because people kept coming up to me and hugging me, and I was still so lost in my feverish, shocked and happy Gerryfog, that I could not think straight.

Tonya, who was still standing on stage caught my eye, and I smiled up at her. Bless her heart, she stepped down from the stage as Gerry was entertaining the crowd, and put her arms around me. She held me so close, and again, like a blithering fool... I could only tremble and weep... but I think I did manage to say, "You have no idea what this all means to me.... thank you so much!"

When Tonya had to remind Gerry of his next engagement, she went back up on stage while Gerry joked and seemed to be really enjoying himself.... but finally, relinquishing the microphone, he made his way down the steps as a few of the fans recieved hugs or handshakes, and the man even stopped briefly to speak tenderly to a lady in a wheelchair, as Dayna and Tonya asked the fans to allow him to get off to his friend's premiere.

And just like that.... Gerard James Butler was out the door, and the whole place exploded with joy as I staggered back to my table. I laughed as I glimpsed one hundred or more dinner plates, sitting there cold and ignored, with half eaten food. Once the Butler showed up, everyone forgot the meal!

The whole thing still seems unreal to me.... and there are still some moments of the spectacular event I cannot recall.... which really ticks me off! Looking back.... I wish I had said more to him... I wish I had not looked like a deer caught in the headlights, trembling and choked up! But truly.... I was stunned! Stunned that he would show up in the first place, and blown away that I would somehow be the focus of his attentions for even a few precious moments.

I later learned that Tonya was told mine and Nathan's story.... and that she knew of Nathan's illness, so I assume Gerry knows as well. I cannot tell you all much this has touched me... and I shall never be able to thank or repay all those who made my meeting of Gerard so special. Those of you who know me are aware of how many times I have said I would never meet meet him, and you are also aware that even if I were to meet him, due to my shy nature, I did not want it to be in a situation where I would have to fight through crowds to get to him. How amazing that the circumstances under which I had my encounter, were by his own choice.

And truly.... he came the the Ball for all of us. For all of us who love him and call ourselves his fans. It was his way of saying thank you, and of acknowledging how much he appreciated the love and support of all his fans. In his impromtu speech... he shouted that he LOVES ALL HIS SITES, and he mentioned as many as he remembered by name. He said that we are all a team.... and he appreciated the fact the there were ladies from several different sites there, representing their groups, but as one supportive force for him.

I have much more to share.....

To be continued...

Swan

Edited to add 7/13:

I am adding these wonderful remarks from Terry's Witches's account of Gerry's visit to Vegas because I actually did not see the remarkable phenomenon she is describing. Yet I did sense Gerry's unease. I was already up on the stage and looking out into the ballroom.... but I was blinded by all the flashes when Gerry walked in.

Terry's Witch: The shout that goes up as Gerry enters, it is a sound I will remember clearly for a very very long time. Now he comes in behind Tonya, closely followed by Jeremy and his camera. 100 ladies move forward in a wave and as I look at him, Gerry gets on the podium and sees us coming, hesitates and takes a huge step back. We all see it, and .... stop... right where we are. I have never seen anything like it. We just felt his unease and we stopped.... all at once.... all together.

And here is a reply I posted with her account, that I thought would be appropriate here:

Swansong:That is the main reason I held back once he got up on the stage. A few people have asked me why I did not *tackle* him, or why I did not immediately throw my arms around him. The truth is, I wanted him to feel in control, and I said within myself..."I won't touch him, unless he invites me to."

It's funny, Cat, but reading your perspective reminded me of my train of thought when he did invite me to get a hug. I was trying to decide the proper way to hug this man, and I recall thinking.... "not too closely, Give him his space." So I purposefully held back.

I know some of you were puzzled by my reserve, but it just seemed the right thing for him.

Then of course in retrospect, I want to kick myself for NOT hugging him tighter... but what you don't see in the pics or videos, is that my arms were trembling as they wrapped around him.

What a night, indeed.

Swan

Posted Image

Edited by Swansong
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 58
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Wow Swan! I was there, but finally getting to read your thoughts and feelings after you've had a couple of days to collect yourself, is yet another awesome experience! Your performance Friday night was so moving, and I speak for the other performers there when I say that you were a hard act to follow! :music:

I wrote this on Mel's thread, but I want to tell you as well. After Gerry left the ball that night, there was a photo op to take your picture along with Bethy and Mel. I snapped the picture, and as I gazed at you three diverse, talented, extraordinary women, it occurred to me that I could not have picked three more deserving members of the GB FANmily than you, to have your chance to meet Gerry!

I am so happy that I was there to experience it. Even if Gerry had not been there, I would still count my life as greatly enriched because of getting to meet so many dynamic, talented, intelligent, and gregarious women!! This was a 'vacation' that I will truly never forget!

Love,

Songbird~Katie

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh swan thanks for sharing your story with us.... It seems ever sent you all got back from Vegas, and started telling us your stories, I have nothing but cry my eyes out, not for sadness but for joy, I am so glad you all had such a good time and again I am so glad you all got to meet Gerry up close and personal...

I am so happy for all of you... And you were so beautiful in your gown... And with that voice I sure there wasn't a dry eye in the house... congrats Bonnie...Love ya and Bigg Huggs...Peggy

And I hope your feeling better.

Edited by pegasus
Link to post
Share on other sites

Swan, what a joy to read your perspective of things! Honestly, it is hard to remember everything isn't it? Let's hope Jereme's vid won't be long in coming, lol! Can't wait for part 3!

Much hugs...(hope you are feeling even better today!) Robyne

Link to post
Share on other sites

:tissues:

Here it comes again..

I know what you mean about not remembering what he said at times..

But even though the words may be lost to memory..the feelings will always stay with you.

My knees are shaking just thinking about your moment with Gerry, Bonnie!!

:rose:

Bethy

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you so much, Swansong, for sharing your story. And congratulations on winning the Talent award. I wish I could have been there. As a newbie here, I look forward to getting to know you.

Elissa

Link to post
Share on other sites

woweewoweewow wow! I'm just so amazed and stunned and soo very happy for you! I can't get over everyone's stories, and this is so great!

Congratulations on your winning the Talent Show! I'm going back and listening to the track after I post this!

Stacey

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Swansong,

Wow, what can I say except thank-you for sharing your time with Gerry with us. I wanted to go to Vegas so badly but I have poor health and finances aren't good either. I believe however someday inspite of my health problems I will make the trip to one of our events. And for the chance to meet this wonderfull, compassionate, beautifull man Gerry Butler it would be even worth jeopardizing my health. What a way to go!! I'm so happy for you and all the girls that were there. And like when I read Bethy's story, I cryd as I read yours too. What an amazing man that can touch and effect so many hearts across the world. he is so deserving of every bit of support that we give him. His talent is only matched by his kindness and loveling way. What a wonderfull job his mother did raising him. Sweetie thank-you again for sharing your experience with us. It's like we took the trip with you and the other girls. AND THOUGH I'VE SAID THIS ONLINE PROBABLY A DOZEN TIMES IN THE LAST 48 HOURS I'D LIKE TO SAY IT ONCE AGAIN, THANK-YOU GERRY BUTLER FOR WHAT YOU NOT ONLY DID FOR THESE DEAR WOMAN IN VEGAS, BUT WHAT YOU DO FOR ALL OF US EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. THANK-YOU FOR NOT ONLY SHARIING YOUR TALENT WITH US BUT EVEN MORE INCREDABLE HOW YOU SHARE GERRY THE MAN. WE TRULY APPRECIATE YOU. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND GERRY TOO IN ALL THAT YOU DO AND ALL THAT YOU DREAM TO DO. AND THANK-YOU GERRY FOR ENCOURAGING US, BECAUSE YOU DO IN MANY WAYS.

Respectfully with love, Jeanne Maranos

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Swannie,

Your post made me cry all over again. I need to stop this... I'm a wreck. I'm so happy that you got your moment with Gerry. It was so incredibly touching to watch. Your song was beautiful and brought tears to everyone's eyes. I am so happy I was able to meet you Swan.

Hugs!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for continuing to share your story. I love reading about Gerry and how he truly has the kindest soul. I'm so glad he was there to give you your award and to offer such words of kindness...

(((HUGS)))

Link to post
Share on other sites

Swansong,

We are all blessed that YOU inspired Gerry to be his truest self.

This is such a circle of admiration, love, wonder, and buckets of tears.

NO WONDER The Gers needed a drink of water.

I need a big, yellow towel for my teary face.

You are a queen, truly you are. I can see that in the photos from last Saturday night.

Thank you for sharing such personal, touching thoughts with us.

Now, pet the doggy :lolita: and you'll feel so good!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bonnie Anne, the tears are just running down my neck after reading your story! It is just so emotional and you are so deserving of it. You GALS are just terrific and I'm so happy you could share the love with everyone. Thank you! :wub:

After reading all the accounts I realize that Gerry is one special human being and worthy of all our love. The more I know of him, the more I love him.

:tissues: :ohbaby2:

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Now come and get your hug."

Swan, you don't know me. I post mostly over at GB.net (I'm the wacky one) but these words are (I'm positive) burnt into your brain forever. I'm so happy for you. You have no idea. Gerry's commitment is testament (in his showing up at all---however brief) to his sincere devotion to fans like you and everyone who showed up at this event and even to those who couldn't or didn't want to (like me)! All in all, I couldn't be happier for all of you.

SlimChance here

GreenEyedGirl there

:lolita:

Pug Power!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Swan-- I just listened to your music and started tearing up- when I read this installment- the water starting running- I'm sorry you were ill but I am so happy for you and your SPECIAL award-- I wish I could have been there to see it in person-- Congratulations!!!! :yippee:

Annemarie

Link to post
Share on other sites

Swansong, I read your post with tears streaming down my cheeks, your description of the events was so vivid! I'm so glad for you! I also listened to your song, it was so beautiful, and your voice is amazing! I don't know if my admiration for the man gan get any bigger. :inlove:

Link to post
Share on other sites

:cry: What a great experience Swansong! :cry: need tishue

One you will never forget. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Hope you are feeling better. :sick: ::D:

:wave: diamond

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bonnie Anne, several minutes ago I read this second installment of your Gerry Encounter Story, and I am just now aware that the clock has "bonged" again, meaning I have sat here, transfixed, for 15 minutes, dwelling on what you what and what this means to you... You and I connected a LONG time ago, back when we were both newbies at GBdotnet, before there was GALS, and I felt connected to you...

but life has a way of limiting our connections. For me, it is the overwhelming responsibilities which I carry. I simply do not possess the energy or the time to do all that I "want" to do, once I have completed all I "Have" to do.

And I know of your worries ~~ "worries"?! no, much more than worries, a mother's deepest fears for the health and well-being of her child...I know that feeling as well...

so you and I were distant. Although I read "Chanson d'Lange" and I respected your talent as a writer and your ability to oput into words your thoughts and feelings.

And even knowing all this about you, I was still transported to another place for 15 minutes after reading this account... I felt as though I were there with you, within you, and I feel right this monent as though I am so deeply connected to another human being...

This is absurd. I am weeping so hard it has takien me nearly 30 minutes to type this...

Love, Merle

Link to post
Share on other sites

If anyone deserved a few special "Gerry Moments" it is you, Swan! You have expressed so eloquently what many feel about GJB and this whole fan-experience. And once again, Gerry has proved that our support/love/admiration is not misplaced. I'm so happy to read your story (and pea-green with envy as well!) and delighted that the convention was such a success. Wonderful things do happen out of the blue and I'm sure this is just the beginning of good things for you and your family. All the best.

Jane

Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG Merle.... I have not felt distant from you. GALS just fits me better than other sites, and I have come to love the ladies here as my family.

There is so much more I could share about how I felt in Gerry's presence... but I think some things should stay within me.... know what I mean? Besides, I am still so overcome by the whole thing.

I am glad I have helped you see this event as if you were there. I can remember those early days of reading other fan encounters with tears streaming down my face... wishing that it had been me. I just want everyone to know that Gerry truly is the amazing man we all have come to believe he is.... and that his fans do matter to him. I feel like a sort of cheer leader for him.... and his happiness and well being are of great importance to me.

Merle, I still remember the time you called me when the first recording of No One Would Listen was posted on Gb.net. I listened to that thing at least a hundred times that day!!!

And now here we both are, more than a year later... and we both still love him... and yes, I mean love. I can honestly say after meeting him, what I feel for this man is love. A different kind of love than I have ever felt for any human being. Not romantic, not friendship... but something else entirely. I wish I could explain, but I can't.

Anyhow Merle, we may be distant in where we hang out... but our hearts are knit together because of Gerry.

Thanks for reading my story... and I will soon get back to work on Chanson!!!

Swan

Edited by Swansong
Link to post
Share on other sites

Swansong's dream Come True: Part two:

Swan,

this is my first post ever on a fan site and i am probably doing it all wrong technically and will never be able to get this send but I just had to say thank you for sharing this wonderful moment. I do so perfectly understand what you said about how Gerard's performance as the Phantom has reached out to you and changed you as the same happened to me and I am still slightly confused by it all and trying to redefine myself. I am so happy for all of you who attended and shared in that remarkable experience, through your stories I feel as if I was there with you even though I was an ocean away from you. I am so happy to learn that the man I admire with all my heart has such wonderful fans to support him and I thank God for that and pray that it will help Gerard on this difficult but rewarding way that he has chosen. Again, thank you all for sharing, for tonight you have given me peace of mind.

Link to post
Share on other sites

And now here we both are, more than a year later... and we both still love him... and yes, I mean love. I can honestly say after meeting him, what I feel for this man is love. A different kind of love than I have ever felt for any human being. Not romantic, not friendship... but something else entirely. I wish I could explain, but I can't.

Oh, Bonnie Anne...

I am so thrilled for you, reading your accounts thus far. And I agree with you. I've told people before that I love Gerry. Actual, honest-to-goodness love...like you said. I can't explain it, either, but there are times I find myself praying as much for him as I do for a family member...but it seems like here, at this site, no one smirks when you say things like that. And it's very refreshing. I'm so touched that he came and really gave his attention to you and the other ladies in Vegas. I have been crying on and off for two days, dwelling on how much this man's soul moves me. Am I crazy? Maybe. ::D: But at least I'm not jaded.

Thank you for sharing your heart, and your story with us.

Love,

Kelli

Link to post
Share on other sites

*Swan waves to Kelli* Hi Kelli!!! Hey girl, when are you gonna post your outstanding videos here???

No one will ever smirk at you for expressing deep, soulish or even spiritual feelings for Gerry. Here on GALS, we celebrate our individual expression of what the man means to us; whether we be naughty or nice! (and some of us are both... like me!)

So dive in girl.... and make yourself at home!

Swan

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...